Seems women are becoming less and less dependent on men

C50 said:
I truly want women to take over the world, I'm tired of always be in charge.😜

I think there will always be some division between the sexes, both necessary and unnecessary. I for one am all for equity where possible, except for having babies. I don't want to have to do that, but if I did I think I could get it done in a couple of weeks, I'm not sure why women like to draw it out nine months.
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i know you're joking. However, i have to mention my pregnancy was the only time in our decade long on/off/on/off relationship that my first husband exerted any control over his hair-trigger temper. Being repeatedly pregnant was NOT an acceptable price for a peaceful household in my mind/ heart. (Not to mention that i don't think one should have more children than one can basically support.)
 
JaniceM said:
But do you think it's a matter of (as you worded it) needing each other financially, or the trend of keeping everything separate- bank accounts, possessions, etc.? Everything is 'my' this and 'my' that, instead of 'ours.'
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I have read that money is the cause of most marital discord. Perhaps the best system would be a three part plan, with "ours" for housing and living expenses; mine and yours for discretionary spending.
 
I am currently in the process of trying to become less dependent on my boyfriend. We do not live together or plan to in the future. I am not dependent on him financially but dependent on the things he does for me. Or driving me to places I need to go. The reason I want to rely on him less is more to do with what I will do if something happens to him.

I think it is a good thing for women to be less dependent on their spouses. For some women if they lose their husband due to death or divorce they don't have the slightest idea how to manage their finances. For others it is those jobs their spouse did to keep their home in good condition or running smoothly. I went through this myself when my first husband and I split up.
 
katlupe said:
I am currently in the process of trying to become less dependent on my boyfriend. We do not live together or plan to in the future. I am not dependent on him financially but dependent on the things he does for me. Or driving me to places I need to go. The reason I want to rely on him less is more to do with what I will do if something happens to him.

I think it is a good thing for women to be less dependent on their spouses. For some women if they lose their husband due to death or divorce they don't have the slightest idea how to manage their finances. For others it is those jobs their spouse did to keep their home in good condition or running smoothly. I went through this myself when my first husband and I split up.
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This puts me in mind of an incident when I was in high school... I tagged along when one of my brothers took our mother to the grocery store, and was kinda stunned to see she didn't even know how to fill out a check to pay for the groceries.
I'd taken a business course in school, and had to explain the way she initially signed it- "Mrs."- was her "social name," and that she had to sign her legal name on the check.

Years down the line, when my father's arthritis was so bad that he couldn't write, he had to actually teach her how to pay bills, etc.

Geez, talk about "helpless housewives"!! :ROFLMAO:
She did acknowledge, though, that it was good women in my generation knew how to do things- basic household repairs, etc.
 
I don't understand how a woman can be so dependent like that on a man either. Maybe it's the guy is so OCD'd about everything she had to just to keep her sanity. Thankfully my husband had grown up spoiled, and though he had invented this grand delusion about his knowing how to run a business and the world, didn't know what the hell he was doing. Give him a $20 bill and he'd effing give it away! Oh now you need another twenty bucks? Sorry gotta pay the electric bill, buy food, take the kid to the doctor, fix the car, pay on your debts... by that time he had walked away to find something else to do.
 
katlupe said:
I am currently in the process of trying to become less dependent on my boyfriend. We do not live together or plan to in the future. I am not dependent on him financially but dependent on the things he does for me. Or driving me to places I need to go. The reason I want to rely on him less is more to do with what I will do if something happens to him.

I think it is a good thing for women to be less dependent on their spouses. For some women if they lose their husband due to death or divorce they don't have the slightest idea how to manage their finances. For others it is those jobs their spouse did to keep their home in good condition or running smoothly. I went through this myself when my first husband and I split up.
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I work with older people and from my point of view, it is often the men who are way too dependent on their wives. I really hate to see this when the woman has developed serious physical problems and needs someone to help her. After a lifetime of depending on the wive to do everything in the home, these men just do not assume the responsibility for even helping their wives. These women feel terrible as they struggle to do everything for the man who is unwilling to help them and they are as afraid of leaving the man alone as they would be afraid to leave a young child alone.

What a trap to need to feel needed and never being the one who needs help or wanting the freedom to visit family that may be far away and feeling guilty as though leaving him to care for himself is equal to abandoning a child.
 
Vida May said:
I work with older people and from my point of view, it is often the men who are way too dependent on their wives. I really hate to see this when the woman has developed serious physical problems and needs someone to help her. After a lifetime of depending on the wive to do everything in the home, these men just do not assume the responsibility for even helping their wives. These women feel terrible as they struggle to do everything for the man who is unwilling to help them and they are as afraid of leaving the man alone as they would be afraid to leave a young child alone.

What a trap to need to feel needed and never being the one who needs help or wanting the freedom to visit family that may be far away and feeling guilty as though leaving him to care for himself is equal to abandoning a child.
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That's a bit different, though. Most older people were in their prime when men and women had specific roles. Generally, he worked (usually long hours back then) and managed the finances, and she took care of the house and kids. Those were their roles, and neither one was trained to take over the role of the other. Mutual dependency is just the way marriage was.

There was a time when, if a man died leaving a young wife and children, she had to move back with her parents, or go live with a brother or a married couple. She couldn't just run out and find a job, she had to learn a skill first. Often, widows with children had to fear becoming destitute. We've come a long way from that.
 
Murrmurr said:
That's a bit different, though. Most older people were in their prime when men and women had specific roles. Generally, he worked (usually long hours back then) and managed the finances, and she took care of the house and kids. Those were their roles, and neither one was trained to take over the role of the other. Mutual dependency is just the way marriage was.

There was a time when, if a man died leaving a young wife and children, she had to move back with her parents, or go live with a brother or a married couple. She couldn't just run out and find a job, she had to learn a skill first. Often, widows with children had to fear becoming destitute. We've come a long way from that.
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That’s exactly how it was when I was growing up.

My dad was ill the last couple of years of his life. My mother did take good care of him. If it had gone the other way around, I don’t know what he would have done.

My mother was a good wife, but as a mother not so much.
I learned not to depend on others early. I have lived alone most of my life and am content this way for the most part.

My dad did help me a couple of times. He was an exceptional father.
 
leigh91657 said:
That’s exactly how it was when I was growing up.

My dad was ill the last couple of years of his life. My mother did take good care of him. If it had gone the other way around, I don’t know what he would have done.

My mother was a good wife, but as a mother not so much.
I learned not to depend on others early. I have lived alone most of my life and am content this way for the most part.

My dad did help me a couple of times. He was an exceptional father.
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Traditionally, that's what daughters were for. In every country I can think of, it falls to the oldest daughter to care for dad if mom is unable, or for mom if dad is unable.

I just thought of one exception - in some Middle-Eastern countries, once a daughter marries, she basically belongs to her in-laws. So, she'd be the carer of her elderly in-laws...and it works both ways, of course. In other Middle-Eastern countries, the youngest son is expected to be the parents' personal carer, while the older son takes over the father's business and/or finances. And that's why the parents in those particular countries tend to sort of spoil the youngest son. He grows up living the life of Riley, then expresses his gratitude by taking good care of his parents when they're old.

I learned that from a guy who used to work for me who was from Syria. Plus he was Christian, not Muslim, so might have been part of his religious-plus-cultural tradition.
 
Pepper said:
@Murrmurr
"Traditionally, that's what daughters were for. In every country I can think of, it falls to the oldest daughter to care for dad if mom is unable, or for mom if dad is unable."

I pity the poor girl whose father thinks she should do all her mother's chores, including sex with him.
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In fine traditional homes, incest was off the table - um...meaning not happening at all anywhere.
 
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I think that no one "needs" anyone as much as they desire love and companionship. I had a bad first marriage, then stayed alone for nearly twenty years. I pretty much managed single parenthood and having to do everything, but I really wished for a decent man who wouldn't have minded helping me raise my child. Such men weren't available so I made my life as fulfilling as I could. As to the OP's question, I agree that there is no reason to put men down. A healthy self esteem, a meaningful and fulfilling life is possible without a man, but it can be richer when shared.
 
dseag2 said:
This is slightly off topic, and I'm sure I'll get pushback, but I think that if there were more women in the White House we would see more things accomplished. Like stricter gun laws, for example. Women tend to be more empathic than men. Some of the "good ole' boys" that only wish to line their pockets with money from special interests and do nothing need to go. There are, of course, a few nut job women already in the White House that are exceptions.
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I agree. :)
 

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