Should We Fear A Lonely Life? The Age of Loneliness

I wish I could hear, but I quit YouTube and clicking on links a while back. The fact I quit is limiting somewhat, but once people comment I might have some type of understanding.
 
I don't fear it. I've actually become accustomed to it and I've embraced it over the years. I would prefer to be alone.
 
Not to make light of human loneliness, but very concerned about Buffy since losing Max (cats). Lately she has begun sitting in places only he sat in. I miss him so much too, but it's worse for her and I feel guilty if I leave her alone for more than a few hours. šŸ˜æ
 
@Pepper, I do think animals grief when they lose another pet. It is heart breaking to watch them go thru the house looking for their friend. They don't understand why they are gone. I am sure Buffy is really sad. As goofy as it sounds, my little girl dog was beside her self when we lost our other dog.

I was not ready but a friend found a rescue of similar breed and I adopted him. At first they were stand offish but now they are the best of friends.
 
Pepper said:
Not to make light of human loneliness, but very concerned about Buffy since losing Max (cats). Lately she has begun sitting in places only he sat in. I miss him so much too, but it's worse for her and I feel guilty if I leave her alone for more than a few hours. šŸ˜æ
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Pets matter too. It can be very hard for an animal to lose a companion. I don't know what my littermates here would do.

When my grumpy old tortie died, I swear the last 5 years of my calico Chloe's were her happiest. It was just her and I. I think she feared her "big sister" a bit. They both died with me at home of old age complications.
 
MarciKS said:
I don't fear it. I've actually become accustomed to it and I've embraced it over the years. I would prefer to be alone.
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This is about where I am. I wish I had got to this place earlier in life and just accepted it. I craved friends and such when I was younger, especially in my 20's. I wish I'd known being on my own would end up my fate and I'd have accepted it earlier.

I have such anger toward my mother for the way she isolated me as a child. It was beyond cruel. But she would never have seen what she did to her possession. Which as I child, is what I was.
 
Pepper said:
Not to make light of human loneliness, but very concerned about Buffy since losing Max (cats). Lately she has begun sitting in places only he sat in. I miss him so much too, but it's worse for her and I feel guilty if I leave her alone for more than a few hours. šŸ˜æ
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After my DD's dog died, my cat from a feral litter who was social mostly with our older Tabby and myself started clawing at one spot on rug, something she hadn't before. Then it dawned on us it was where Meja would sleep in patch of sunlight that came thru front door. She grieved the older cat too whenhe passed.
 
MarciKS said:
If you make friends easily that's great. I struggle with lots of trust issues after years of abuse in various forms so I kinda gave up on the idea of finding good friends.
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Blessed said:
Yes, Marci I am apprehensive about who I let into my life anymore. I just find at this point to chug along the best I can.
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I agree with both Marci and Blessed about this. Also, they say that it takes a long time for an authentic, solid friendship to "grow" and when you're old like me and don't have that much time left sometimes you feel like it's not worth the bother.
 
officerripley said:
I agree with both Marci and Blessed about this. Also, they say that it takes a long time for an authentic, solid friendship to "grow" and when you're old like me and don't have that much time left sometimes you feel like it's not worth the bother.
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I don't have 50 yrs to build a solid friendship. I had a friend for 25 yrs that ended up disappointing me 1 too many times and I finally said the hell with it. He stopped communicating with me when the pandemic started. Hadn't heard from him until mother died last Dec. I think he tried contacting me from a different phone number and didn't tell me who it was so I blocked it. I had no intentions of answering anyway. He's done this several times in the past and this was the longest. I figure if you can't answer your phone or mail for 2 yrs you are clearly not interested in being friends anymore.
 
I sometimes feel like my life is lonely but I have 2 great companions that keep me going. Some may say that they can't talk but that can be a good thing. They listen and look like they want to understand. That's more than many people do. I communicate with nice folks on the web and am grateful for that, too.

One day I may meet in person a new friend and I look forward to that. I'm mostly content.
 
I was used to not having many friends except for my husband. When I moved here to this apartment, I expected to not have real friends. Just people I would meet in my apartment building. But to my surprise (and I am still surprised) I have made some pretty close friends here. They drop in to my apartment several times a week and sometimes all at once. I think it has been good for me. I am still alone in my apartment but I know I can just knock on a door and be with a friend.
 
dseag2 said:
Should We Fear A Lonely Life?
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Maybe, I can't say that I fear it, but I do think about it.

My grandfather who lived to within 2 months of his 100th birthday, and was healthy for 98 or so of those years, used to tell me that if I planned to live as long as he I should start making younger friends. Good advice.

I once met one of his fishing buddies, one he called the "Old Man". The Old Man was more than 20 years younger than my grandfather. Still my grandfather outlived him and was left without a fishing buddy.

My aunt by marriage did not know her father's age, he didn't know when he was born. An old Cajun. He outlived many of his children, some of whom died in their 70s. He only started collecting Social Security when his son turned 65, they accepted that of proof he was old enough. He was a shrimper and worked well past that point. I think he must have felt some of that survivor loneliness.

In some way it happens to all of us, unless we die young.
 
I forgot to mention that I do have several neighbors here who I chat with when I see them. They don't come over but would be welcome if they let me know in advance.
 
One thing I tried to impress upon my kids was learn to be alone, and then later I wanted each of them to spend some time living by themselves as an independent adult. I think it's important to have the comfort and confidence that being alone isn't the end of life, you learn to keep yourself occupied and you learn to manage your social life as you like.

I don't fear it at all, in truth I am at the point in life I prefer it.
 

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