"You are just a man who is yucky"!, (say sayeth my our children,...)

grahamg

Old codger
"You are just a man who is yucky", (or "He is just a man who is yucky"!

My response:
"Yes I am a man who is yucky, but nonetheless all these things I am besides being undoubtedly yucky.

I am the man chosen by your own mother to be her boyfriend and then she became my fiancée, and her husband for seven years, so all told your mother and I were in what we might have been expected to believe, was a loving relationship, (your mother declaring this to be the case in church in front of your gran, my whole family, and assembled friends and if there is a God, then God too!).

I am the man too, had I not walked this planet, and none of my antecedents walked this planet, then you could not have been born, so I am as unique as that fact demands, and you as my only child are equally unique yourself and unique to me!

That may not seem so important to you, or in any way comparable with the contribution of the man you and your mother declare is the "real daddy", but as the influence of our inheritable characteristics is better understood, (and you will understand far better than I do I would guess), even what happened in our antecedents lives can be somehow passed on to the child, along with their DNA, (my DNA, and my parents DNA making up roughly half your own genetic material of course).

You may not know it but it is fortunate too that my being called Yucky by you does not stop my loving you, (perhaps you did know that was the case, and in which case I'm glad you had that feeling you could say just as you wished regardless of anything else related to me!).

Your indifference to me once you had revealed to your grandparents, (my parents obviously), the real reason why you didn't see me from the age of twelve, is a greater test of my love I admit, but so what, I would not have wished you to be any different than the person you are, and there may be the slightest of silver linings if all those on this forum who disagree totally with my views on the subject of fathers/parents rights, and the "best interests of he child principle" can be even in the smallest degree, lead to appreciating their own firm opinions might just not be 100% infallible on this subject.

"I can wish for no more", (as this admittedly ""very yucky", and no doubt very annoying man, "who refuses to move on as so many tell him he must do for a plethora of reasons"! :sneaky::rolleyes::whistle::giggle: ).
 

"You are just a man who is yucky", (or "He is just a man who is yucky"!

My response:
"Yes I am a man who is yucky, but nonetheless all these things I am besides being undoubtedly yucky.

I am the man chosen by your own mother to be her boyfriend and then she became my fiancée, and her husband for seven years, so all told your mother and I were in what we might have been expected to believe, was a loving relationship, (your mother declaring this to be the case in church in front of your gran, my whole family, and assembled friends and if there is a God, then God too!).

I am the man too, had I not walked this planet, and none of my antecedents walked this planet, then you could not have been born, so I am as unique as that fact demands, and you as my only child are equally unique yourself and unique to me!

That may not seem so important to you, or in any way comparable with the contribution of the man you and your mother declare is the "real daddy", but as the influence of our inheritable characteristics is better understood, (and you will understand far better than I do I would guess), even what happened in our antecedents lives can be somehow passed on to the child, along with their DNA, (my DNA, and my parents DNA making up roughly half your own genetic material of course).

You may not know it but it is fortunate too that my being called Yucky by you does not stop my loving you, (perhaps you did know that was the case, and in which case I'm glad you had that feeling you could say just as you wished regardless of anything else related to me!).

Your indifference to me once you had revealed to your grandparents, (my parents obviously), the real reason why you didn't see me from the age of twelve, is a greater test of my love I admit, but so what, I would not have wished you to be any different than the person you are, and there may be the slightest of silver linings if all those on this forum who disagree totally with my views on the subject of fathers/parents rights, and the "best interests of he child principle" can be even in the smallest degree, lead to appreciating their own firm opinions might just not be 100% infallible on this subject.

"I can wish for no more", (as this admittedly ""very yucky", and no doubt very annoying man, "who refuses to move on as so many tell him he must do for a plethora of reasons"! :sneaky::rolleyes::whistle::giggle: ).
My dad always told me that people can say anything but that doesn't make it true.
 

"I can wish for no more", (as this admittedly ""very yucky", and no doubt very annoying man, "who refuses to move on as so many tell him he must do for a plethora of reasons"!
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Grahamg wrote:
"What makes you think that I think otherwise, (just being slightly curious as I've no idea what might have prompted your response, "or do you think you're somehow protecting the sisterhood"?)?" :(
I don't know what to make of all of this, so maybe you will tell me?
No problem at all giving an explanation and it is that on other threads in the fairly recent past, (concerned with parental rights/fathers rights etc.), there has appeared to me to be a bit of polarisation and a tendency for a few forum members to wade in on behalf of others, (hence the "sisterhood reference"!).
However, some of those I felt indulged themselves in this kind of thing, have posted on completely unconnected thread topics, without choosing to be "nasty" to anyone, so overall nothing at all to worry about really! :giggle::whistle::unsure::cry::censored::cautious::sleep::sneaky:(y)
 
Grahamg wrote:
"What makes you think that I think otherwise, (just being slightly curious as I've no idea what might have prompted your response, "or do you think you're somehow protecting the sisterhood"?)?" :(

No problem at all giving an explanation and it is that on other threads in the fairly recent past, (concerned with parental rights/fathers rights etc.), there has appeared to me to be a bit of polarisation and a tendency for a few forum members to wade in on behalf of others, (hence the "sisterhood reference"!).
However, some of those I felt indulged themselves in this kind of thing, have posted on completely unconnected thread topics, without choosing to be "nasty" to anyone, so overall nothing at all to worry about really! :giggle::whistle::unsure::cry::censored::cautious::sleep::sneaky:(y)
All here seems on the light side. That's good.
 
I have experienced separation from my children for periods of time. I just told myself I had to love them from afar, as you are clearly doing. Of course this was during much grief. Don’t give up hope. There is always that. I barely see my children or grandchildren now. I’m lucky to get a phone call. I talk to a lot of people where this seems to be the norm. But not seeing her since age 12 is heart breaking.
 
Quote
"I am the man chosen by your own mother to be her boyfriend and then she became my fiancée, and her husband for seven years, so all told your mother and I were in what we might have been expected to believe, was a loving relationship, (your mother declaring this to be the case in church in front of your gran, my whole family, and assembled friends and if there is a God, then God too!)."

What happened to change from being the husband of choice to your self described Yucky Man?
 
Quote
"I am the man chosen by your own mother to be her boyfriend and then she became my fiancée, and her husband for seven years, so all told your mother and I were in what we might have been expected to believe, was a loving relationship, (your mother declaring this to be the case in church in front of your gran, my whole family, and assembled friends and if there is a God, then God too!)."

What happened to change from being the husband of choice to your self described Yucky Man?
I mean this, you do ask good questions, but in fairness I could probably write a small booklet trying to explain why my then wife turned to hating me, as she most certainly did, whilst I still loved her for up to two years after she'd left me for another!

I can give you some maybe obvious comments, things you realise with the benefit of hindsight, such as before we were married we split once, and though she rang to make contact again there was no real reason given as to the change of heart on her part, when going to one of my sisters weddings she almost split from me on that day, and to round off our four year courtship, an hour or so before we married she rang to say she wasn't coming!!

The other question in your mind maybe is was there any domestic violence, and the answer is no, and nor were there any accusations of such behaviour on either side, at any stage, though I'd say "I was scared of my wife psychologically"!

The turn around from planning our first, (and obviously) only child, to my wife becoming distant from me etc., took place when our daughter was only about eighteen months old, and a works Christmas party my then wife attended was where the beggings of her affair leading to the marriage breakdown occurred, (my MIL actually pointing out the risk to me when she saw my wife dressed up for the occasion).

Do you feel any wiser now, what happened to me is happening all over the western world at least with monotonous frequency, and no end in site, and I could point to the undermining of religions, (my ex being an atheist I think it fair to say, as is our daughter), and our thoroughly flimsy no fault divorce laws, where in my case " the injured party" doesn't even have to have been informed their wife/husband is divorcing them till the last minute, does augur well for the future.
 
M
My dad always told me that people can say anything but that doesn't make it true.
My mom told me the same thing. When I was a little boy, I told my mom that Bruce (my best friend at the time) called me a name. My mom said “Just because someone says you are something doesn’t make it true.” I have always lived by those words.
 


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