Aging in Place - Have you made preparations?

palides2021

palides2021

Well-known Member
Location
MidAtlantic, USA
I just returned from my trip to Florida to visit my 88 year old mother (and celebrate her birthday). She lives alone, has difficulty walking due to both her knees are shot, and she uses a cane and small walker when needed. However, she is quite independent and can cook and wash, and her mind is still sharp. She has several friends who have helped her out in the past. I was only there for 3 weeks, and I did as much as I could to help her - she doesn't drive. Took her to the hair salon, her doctor's appointments, dentist appointment, etc. She kept asking what should she do for the future? Should she stay in her home, or move in with my sister who is a few minutes away? I told her to stay in her home as long as she can. I also offered for her to move in with me, but the first thing she said was "Your house has a lot of steps." Many changes would have to take place in order for my mom to move in with me.

That got me to thinking - I plan to stay in my house for the rest of my life. Is my house ready for me? I started reading up on "Aging in place" where you ready/renovate your house for the future. It would cost me around $9,000 - 20,000 to make the changes.....depending on what I want to do.

Has anyone done this to their house? If so, how much did it cost and are you satisfied with the results?
 

Those are good thoughts! When we were forced to retire early, due to a disability, we packed up quick and moved to our dream location. We ended up with a 2 story home but it had already been modified so we could easily live on one floor. That said, we ended up putting about $60K into remodeling the kitchen (ALL drawers in the lower cabinets - trust me - was the BEST idea!) and extending the living room another 10 feet.
If your mother wants to stay in her home, have you considered In-Home Services? My sister was running ragged trying to keep up with our 94 yr. old father as well as her own family. We hired a friend of our nephews who had experience, on a part time basis, to spell my sister. This young man did the laundry, cleaned up the kitchen, vacuumed and accompanied Dad to his appointments and generally made life easy for him - until he required actual medical care 24/7. Then we found a wonderful In-Home Health Care service until he passed in 2020. My sister was there off and on - often showing up without notice - just to keep an eye on things. It worked really well and we had no problems.
Otherwise, WE have our names on the lists of 2 Retirement Communities. Our sons live far away and my father enjoyed his so much. I'm sure that is the main reason he lived so long after my mother passed. All of his group said they wished they had moved in sooner - they had so much fun! All apartments had kitchens but dinner was provided every evening in the dining room. For those of us who lived away, it was comforting to know he was being looked after!
Best of luck!
 
Myquest55 said:
Those are good thoughts! When we were forced to retire early, due to a disability, we packed up quick and moved to our dream location. We ended up with a 2 story home but it had already been modified so we could easily live on one floor. That said, we ended up putting about $60K into remodeling the kitchen (ALL drawers in the lower cabinets - trust me - was the BEST idea!) and extending the living room another 10 feet.
If your mother wants to stay in her home, have you considered In-Home Services? My sister was running ragged trying to keep up with our 94 yr. old father as well as her own family. We hired a friend of our nephews who had experience, on a part time basis, to spell my sister. This young man did the laundry, cleaned up the kitchen, vacuumed and accompanied Dad to his appointments and generally made life easy for him - until he required actual medical care 24/7. Then we found a wonderful In-Home Health Care service until he passed in 2020. My sister was there off and on - often showing up without notice - just to keep an eye on things. It worked really well and we had no problems.
Otherwise, WE have our names on the lists of 2 Retirement Communities. Our sons live far away and my father enjoyed his so much. I'm sure that is the main reason he lived so long after my mother passed. All of his group said they wished they had moved in sooner - they had so much fun! All apartments had kitchens but dinner was provided every evening in the dining room. For those of us who lived away, it was comforting to know he was being looked after!
Best of luck!
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You have great ideas! We are considering in-home services for my mother.
 

No changes needed. Retirement planning included selling 5 bedroom bi-level home to buy for cash a 3 bedroom ranch. Reasoning included no stairs to climb, whole house cleaning easier on one level, window cleaning hose &,squeegee done deal.
Stucco exterior, tile roof part of no maintenance long life cost saving.
 
We're pretty much satisfied with our place....all on one level, with minimal steps, etc. We do have a basement, but we're very careful to use the hand rails and go slowly. If we get so old that just cutting the grass or vacuuming the carpet is becoming an issue, we have checked out a couple of area Senior housing centers, and will move there if necessary.
 
palides2021 said:
Has anyone done this to their house? If so, how much did it cost and are you satisfied with the results?
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Just bits and pieces. I have put grab bars in all bathrooms, that did not cost much. Even though I don't currently need them I like having the bars there.

The big one is some kind of lift or elevator to our upstairs. We don't need it now, but the day will come. I made the stairway 4 ft wide to accommodate one of those stairlifts with room to spare, but my wife hates them. She wants and actual lift, and that will cost like $30k. Not sure I need to get up stairs that bad. Right now the stairs are fine.

Our house and yard takes a lot of maintenance, I sure don't want to move again, but that may end up being the solution. This is way more room than we need.
 
Around here, I've heard it's hard to find good in-home health care, even before Covid hit.

There's a book I can't recommend highly enough: Who Will Take Care of Me When I'm Old: Everything You Need to Know to Be Your Own Best Caregiver by Joy Loverde; really opened up my eyes about some stuff, she really tells it like it is.
 
We have a two-story house, but our master bedroom/bath is on the first floor. I'm glad to have the stairs up to my home office right now because they force me to be flexible, but when the time comes that I can no longer handle them it will just be closed off. Not sure what I will do if I become completely disabled, but I'm saving money for home health care or assisted living.
 
Yes I have been starting to make “ Age in Place “ plans.
I do understand that so many want to age in place in their own home.

That would be great, and I wish the best of luck and contentment to those who are choosing that road.

I know many may think I’m too young to be planning this for myself.
Staying in my house, for many years to come, will get me doing a lot of hiring for things.
And when the time comes that I can’t live in my home anymore, the next step may be moving to someplace I don’t want to live in.
I’m much more capable do the preparations at my age of almost 64…….not sure at 80 I would want to do selling, downsizing, etc.
As it is I’m doing this by myself, no matter what age I am, will still have to do it alone.
After my move, and settled in, there will be so much to do that I enjoy, that doesn’t offer me here.

As I age, there will endless assistance for me, if and when I need it…..at no extra fees.
Have taken a lot of searching, thinking, and will take a lot of organizing……but…..the reward in the end is that I’m going to complete the rest of my life where I want to be.
 
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I hope to stay in my home. It is paid off, my son helps with upkeep. It is one floor and easy to move around in with a walker or a wheelchair for the most part. (I did have someone in a wheelchair here for a while.)The only place it was hard was for the baths, I would need to have a couple of them have the door enlarged if needed. I will need to have grab bars put in the baths at some point.
 
I own a 2 bedroom unit in a co-op apartment complex and there's not much I need to do. All maintenance is handled by on site or outside maintenance crews, according to what needs to be done. When I had my bathroom remodeled 24 years ago, I had the contractors add grab bars, one in the shower and one next to the toilet. There are only three steps inside the building and five outside that I have to maneuver. If I ever need a wheelchair, I could do like other disabled neighbors have done and have a ramp entrance to the patio installed, but hopefully that will never become necessary.
 
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MickaC said:
I know many may think I’m too young to be planning this for myself.
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I don't think you're too young, I think you're wise to start now. So many people (such as my huzz) keep saying "Oh, when the times comes, I'll think about it but not yet." So it's "not yet, not yet" and then before you know it, the time has already come and now you've got to face expensive (for most people) age-in-place remodeling of your home or trying to find a more suitable place and now you're old and tired which makes everything harder. So I think you're very wise.
 
officerripley said:
I don't think you're too young, I think you're wise to start now. So many people (such as my huzz) keep saying "Oh, when the times comes, I'll think about it but not yet." So it's "not yet, not yet" and then before you know it, the time has already come and now you've got to face expensive (for most people) age-in-place remodeling of your home or trying to find a more suitable place and now you're old and tired which makes everything harder. So I think you're very wise.
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Thank you for your opinion…..means a great deal to me…..as well as opinions of others.
I’m a planner and an organizer…..I need that in my life…..and I set this prior time period for myself, just like you stated…..waiting to the last minute, and being overwhelmed is not for me.
I hope you’re able to plan for yourself and your husband in a workable and stressless manor.
Good luck in your future decisions.
 
MickaC said:
waiting to the last minute, and being overwhelmed is not for me.
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Same here, me too. But my huzz is one of those "not yet, not yet, we've still got plenty of time" people (most men seem to be). But as the book I mentioned above in Post 12 points out, remodeling your house to age-in-place can be expensive and some things just can't be done to your existing house. For instance, we've found out that we can't add a "grab bar" to our existing shower wall since it's granite. You can add grab bars to fiberglass and tile walls but not granite since the granite is put up in a whole slab and the whole slab would have to be torn down and replaced. (Fiberglass is put up in a whole sheet also but is much cheaper and easier to replace.) Some friends of ours have the same granite shower we do and just found this out, so they had to add the grab bar to their guest bathroom shower and now they have to shower in there; they're lucky they have that 2nd bathroom. So it's not always a simple fix to just add a few things to age in place, there's a lot to consider.
 
officerripley said:
Same here, me too. But my huzz is one of those "not yet, not yet, we've still got plenty of time" people (most men seem to be). But as the book I mentioned above in Post 12 points out, remodeling your house to age-in-place can be expensive and some things just can't be done to your existing house. For instance, we've found out that we can't add a "grab bar" to our existing shower wall since it's granite. You can add grab bars to fiberglass and tile walls but not granite since the granite is put up in a whole slab and the whole slab would have to be torn down and replaced. (Fiberglass is put up in a whole sheet also but is much cheaper and easier to replace.) Some friends of ours have the same granite shower we do and just found this out, so they had to add the grab bar to their guest bathroom shower and now they have to shower in there; they're lucky they have that 2nd bathroom. So it's not always a simple fix to just add a few things to age in place, there's a lot to consider.
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You’re so right. Where it may be a plus for some to make adjustments to their home, to be able to stay in their home as long as they can…. But the cost is definitely a factor to consider.
 
We are still living in the same 3 bedroom, one bathroom brick veneer ranch style house that we moved into in 1966. Over the years we've made some improvements but resisted the trend to add another storey or to build a swimming pool in the back yard.

We have already made some modifications for our ageing. Kitchen cupboards with handles that are easy for arthritic hands, vinyl tiles instead of carpets and handles/railings in the toilet, shower and near outside steps of which there are hardly any. Just vertical blinds instead of curtains on the windows to minimise dust.

Our house has been assessed by an OT who recommended new beds and firmer mattresses (now bought) and for Hubby an electric tilt/lift chair (currently being trialled). We have been approved for an aging in place package that will allow us to make further modifications to enable us to stay in our home (with help) for as long as possible. I am interested in a bathroom/toilet refit to allow a personal assistant to shower either of us should that be needed in the years to come. It will involve sacrificing the bath to allow for easy access to the shower and toilet for a wheelchair and/or a helper. Our approved package could also be used to pay for respite care for Hubby in case I need further hospitalisation.

It is my intention that we stay together in our home for as long as possible. Covid has shown me that going into a nursing home is not an option right now and I don't want to sell up and buy another house away from the district that I am so familiar with, and from the friends and services I have nearby.
 
I go back and forth on this issue. I have a long-term care policy in the event that I can't live on my own as I age but I'm not sure I was planning to age in place at my house. I love where I live and everything about it but I also wonder how I'm going to keep up with things as I get older.
 
Warrigal said:
We are still living in the same 3 bedroom, one bathroom brick veneer ranch style house that we moved into in 1966. Over the years we've made some improvements but resisted the trend to add another storey or to build a swimming pool in the back yard.

We have already made some modifications for our ageing. Kitchen cupboards with handles that are easy for arthritic hands, vinyl tiles instead of carpets and handles/railings in the toilet, shower and near outside steps of which there are hardly any. Just vertical blinds instead of curtains on the windows to minimise dust.

Our house has been assessed by an OT who recommended new beds and firmer mattresses (now bought) and for Hubby an electric tilt/lift chair (currently being trialled). We have been approved for an aging in place package that will allow us to make further modifications to enable us to stay in our home (with help) for as long as possible. I am interested in a bathroom/toilet refit to allow a personal assistant to shower either of us should that be needed in the years to come. It will involve sacrificing the bath to allow for easy access to the shower and toilet for a wheelchair and/or a helper. Our approved package could also be used to pay for respite care for Hubby in case I need further hospitalisation.

It is my intention that we stay together in our home for as long as possible. Covid has shown me that going into a nursing home is not an option right now and I don't want to sell up and buy another house away from the district that I am so familiar with, and from the friends and services I have nearby.
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You’ve made good solid plans…..I hope your plan works out for yourself and your husband for as long as you need.
The best to both of you.
 


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