Do You Want to be Cared for by Your Family

Jules

Jules

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Murrmurr said:
Just my opinion, but we should take care of our own elders. Some people say they can't because of their career, but I wish taking care of our own elders would become the expected custom (again).
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This came up in What are you Doing Today. It seems to deserve it’s own discussion.

Sure we’d all like to be fit enough to live in our own home until the end but realistically that may not happen. Would you move in with your family? Would you expect them to care for you?

Caring for your family was the custom 50+ years ago. At least the woman in the house was expected to do it.

Frankly, I don’t want to be cared for in the home of any of either of our families’. I would rather end up in a care place, hopefully having gone from moderate assistance to all-care, if need be.

Right now we don’t live near family. Depending who goes first, I would move close to my family, definitely not in with them.
 

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DebraMae said:
No, Jules. I would not want to be taken care of by family either. I am hoping for massive heart attack or stroke, seriously. At this age and with all I have seen I think that would be the best option. And I do have a DNR.
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What is a DNR?
 

Jules said:
This came up in What are you Doing Today. It seems to deserve it’s own discussion.

Sure we’d all like to be fit enough to live in our own home until the end but realistically that may not happen. Would you move in with your family? Would you expect them to care for you?

Caring for your family was the custom 50+ years ago. At least the woman in the house was expected to do it.

Frankly, I don’t want to be cared for in the home of any of either of our families’. I would rather end up in a care place, hopefully having gone from moderate assistance to all-care, if need be.

Right now we don’t live near family. Depending who goes first, I would move close to my family, definitely not in with them.
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I wouldn't mind it. My sister always says she'll take care of me in my old age. She still says it even though I'm married now. She says she'll "babysit me" while Michelle works.

I've worked at state-run senior care homes, and they're atrocious. If you can afford 3 or 4 thousand bucks a month for a nice one, you'll get a nice one. If you can't, your screwed unless you have family who are happy (or at least willing) to care for you.
 
Paco Dennis said:
If I am seriously ill, Misa takes care of, as I do for her. My middle aged children live 4 hours away with their own lives and families. I would not want to burden them with watching me die. When it is my time...I am hoping for some kind of assisted suicide. I really do not want to go to a home.
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I believe it is Oregon who now offers this to non-residents.
 
Murrmurr said:
But the old woman (or man) being cared for minded the children while the carer did the usual chores. It was give & take unless one of them was an invalid.
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however the ''carer'' who would have been a young wife with children.. now can't afford not to work, so to care for an elderly family member would mean giving up work. The elder relative one would suppose, being unable to care for themselves would therefore not be in any position to care for children while the parents worked... ...
 
Paco Dennis said:
If I am seriously ill, Misa takes care of, as I do for her. My middle aged children live 4 hours away with their own lives and families. I would not want to burden them with watching me die. When it is my time...I am hoping for some kind of assisted suicide. I really do not want to go to a home.
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Be careful what you ask for. I have read that if insurance companies decide you have spent too much of their money it is time for your last exit since it is legal in many places now. Why bother them with medical care when you have another option!
 
hollydolly said:
however the ''carer'' who would have been a young wife with children.. now can't afford not to work, so to care for an elderly family member would mean giving up work. The elder relative one would suppose, being unable to care for themselves would therefore not be in any position to care for children while the parents worked... ...
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We were talking about 50+ years ago, when not many women worked outside the home.
 
Happy Heart said:
Be careful what you ask for. I have read that if insurance companies decide you have spent too much of their money it is time for your last exit since it is legal in many places now. Why bother them with medical care when you have another option!
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I only have Medicare A&B. No insurance companies. Are there really places in the states that offer assisted suicide?
 
hollydolly said:
however the ''carer'' who would have been a young wife with children.. now can't afford not to work, so to care for an elderly family member would mean giving up work. The elder relative one would suppose, being unable to care for themselves would therefore not be in any position to care for children while the parents worked... ...
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In your normal, average household, parents give up their hopes and dreams when children come along. Some take a break from college, or pass up a great-paying job that requires moving away from familiar schools, or too many hours away from family. Decent parents make sacrifices for their children, and 60-80 years later, it's a decent thing when their children do. too.

I know not all families are decent. Fewer are now than ever, I think. I'm just saying "I wish" we could go back to this custom. It would greatly benefit society in general, imo.
 
Alligatorob said:
No!

A final vacation to Oregon sounds better!
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It's about time we had dozens more ''Oregons'' !! We have been fighting for this in the UK for donkey's years.. There's no such facility in the UK.. it means a cost of £10k, and a visit to a Swiss death clinic ( Dignitas non profit organisation)..but to qualify for that you must be physical able to fly, and have sufficient movement as to be able to administer the poison yourself. .. ( this is a stipulation)... ..and altho' friends and relatives are encouraged to be with the dying person, they face being arrested on their return for assisting.. and 14 years prison...,

It's just the most appalling situation for those with critical or terminal illness who no longer wish to extend their lives

https://www.dignityindying.org.uk/why-we-need-change/dignitas/
 
Murrmurr said:
In your normal, average household, parents give up their hopes and dreams when children come along. Some take a break from college, or pass up a great-paying job that requires moving away from familiar schools, or too many hours away from family. Decent parents make sacrifices for their children, and 60-80 years later, it's a decent thing when their children do. too.

I know not all families are decent. Fewer are now than ever, I think. I'm just saying "I wish" we could go back to this custom. It would greatly benefit society in general, imo.
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60-80 years later.. no-one foresaw back in the 40's and 50's..the cost of living being such that both parents would have no option but to work just to put food on the table and a roof over their heads... it's quite untenable in this modern world for the average family to give up paid employment to care for someone else..
 

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