Question: Is respect earned or given?

D

dko1951

Member
I had a discussion with someone regarding that question. They feel that respect should be earned and I feel respect should be an automatic response when meeting someone for the first time. I feel that, like trust, the recipient can diminish that trust or respect by their behavior.

I believe that if we don’t offer respect to others we are essentially saying we are better and if you want to be my equal, earn it. Then comes the tricky part. Are we then, in saying someone has diminished that respect, putting ourselves above them in judgment? After all, do we know what made them the person they are and is their behavior unacceptable because we may not understand where they are coming from?
 

dko1951 said:
I had a discussion with someone regarding that question. They feel that respect should be earned and I feel respect should be an automatic response when meeting someone for the first time. I feel that, like trust, the recipient can diminish that trust or respect by their behavior. I believe that if we don’t offer respect to others we are essentially saying we are better and if you want to be my equal, earn it. Then comes the tricky part. Are we then, in saying someone has diminished that respect, putting ourselves above them in judgment? After all, do we know what made them the person they are and is their behavior unacceptable because we may not understand where they are coming from?
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Is respect earned or given?​

Both..depends on the circumstances..I try to approach life by respecting everyone until they give me a reason not to. It has to be a serious reason and even then I keep in mind we all slip up once in a while. And actually I do not know of anyone I have never or could never forgive..I truly believe people do the best they can with what nature/nurture they received and I keep in mind "but for the grace of God there go I"
 
I can see both points............. but i will agree on a case by case basis
perhaps the level of respect is in play as well... basic respect is not the same as respect that is earned

I will give the basic level of respect for example in a job setting ....
if i person proves they are not worthy respect goes out the door.

I look around and see far too many whom without any reason think they deserve large amounts of respect but time and time again prove they do NOT.
 
Yes, of coarse people should be respected until they give you a reason not to and then go with your instinct.

However for some, respect is demanded and falsely given when they deserve none. If it's the abusive parent, spouse or boss, co-worker that takes advantage of their position and power over you.
 
I was gonna let this one go but I have to say this race based cultural "Respect must be demanded" issue is still alive and kicking. As Bill Cosby "A most vile and contemptable individual" said our rather self absorbed derisive mindset is now on us. Respect is a mindset and not something you have the right to demand of another. My mom is a staunch Jewish/Liberal Noo Yawka and was a 60's proponent of give them their rights or else "Burn Baby Burn". My dad "God Bless His Soul" was a Haitian survivor of Papa Doc's Tonton Macoutes a blood thirsty sociopathic cadre of two legged monsters protecting the Devil Elite. Upon arriving in Miami and stopping in Noo Yawk he worked two full time and one part time weekend backbreaking jobs. He did whatever he felt would guarantee us a fairly decent lifestyle. My mom and my dad "God Bless His Soul" would butt heads over the prevailing but self destructive civil rights issue. In the end we learned the easy way and the most productive way as a race and any minority is to expect people to act accordingly around you and even that's not guaranteed. Well that's how I see the respect is earned, expected or demanded issue. Earn your keep and maybe, just maybe you will experience respect in a most natural way. Well I said my piece so make of it what you will.


End run: My dad "A very decent and loving provider" said give me that shovel and I will dig my own way to prosperity. Dad, you will always be in my heart.
 
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I speak of man but man or woman is meant.
I believe firmly that when a man gives his word, he should stand behind that, no matter what.
(could be why I'm alone! haha!) I am out of step with today's society.
A man should hold himself to a higher measure than earthly customs
and follow what he knows is right.
I honor and respect until it's no longer warrented. Sadness and disillusion follows.
Once respect is gone, so is trust.
 
Blanket demanded respect and trust............. is how many a scam artist and criminal and politician gets away with things.....

Even if respecting a profession or office.......it means nothing if the person is not deserving.......... but simply counting on people to assume they are respectable because they have a certain job or status etc.....

A healthy dose of skepticism and wanting the individual to be worthy of respect ( not just a job they have) has kept me out of a few problems i have seen others fall into because they gave demanded ...... respect or trust.
 
hawkdon said:
I always get perplexed at the convicts in prison on this issue...
they always say you MUST respect me, or I'll shank you or whatever...but why would I respect someone who's life is so out
of control that they ended up in prison anyway...?????
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I'll link my post from yours above, as it's relevant: people don't always have the same definition of the word 'respect.' To some, it means fear, kissing somebody's a&&, or obedience. Much different than 'treating someone in a respectful manner.'
 
hawkdon said:
I always get perplexed at the convicts in prison on this issue...
they always say you MUST respect me, or I'll shank you or whatever...but why would I respect someone who's life is so out
of control that they ended up in prison anyway...?????
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Yesterday I was listening to an interview regarding a homeless individual on talk radio. Apparently he built some shack on some unknown property. I don't know if it was a city, county lot or belonged to a private entity. Anyway, he kept saying "they need to remove me safely." I have no idea what he meant and I do feel bad for some homeless because I don't know what their past experience is. But this person sounded totally entitled. Like he could never have held a job anyway. I'm guessing they could tear his shack down and that would be the end of that.
 

For all that hold The Bible close to heart, I give you this. There also many instances where it says, "even if you don't think they deserve it". This knowledge comes from when I was taught the words of Christ. I still love those words, just can't take the religious hypocrisy.​

​

1 Peter 2:17 — The New International Version (NIV)​

17 Show proper respect to everyone
 
Remy said:
Yes, of coarse people should be respected until they give you a reason not to and then go with your instinct.

However for some, respect is demanded and falsely given when they deserve none. If it's the abusive parent, spouse or boss, co-worker that takes advantage of their position and power over you.
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One thing I've learned about respect: Those who demand it aren't entitled to it; that's why they need to demand it.
If they were entitled to respect, they would never have to ask for it; it would be given without asking.

Years ago at work, I had an abusive dishonest supervisor who constantly used her "authority" to get employees to do things they weren't supposed to do. She told me, "I'm your supervisor & I demand respect." I told her, "If you were entitled to respect, you wouldn't have to demand it."
 
I don’t know if you want to call it respect, but I think I am polite to everyone I meet. As a pilot and especially the Captain, it was important to be polite to the passengers. There were some classes of people that were respected just because of what their position was in society. During the wars in the mid-East and Afghanistan, if I was aware of any service men or women onboard, I would make an announcement that went something like this. “Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s our pleasure today that we have 3 members of the military onboard. After landing, please show respect by remaining seated until these 3 people have deplaned. United Airlines appreciates your respect and understanding. Thank you.” Something to that effect. I thought it was the right thing to do and United always commended our flight crew for showing our military respect. For everyone else, I was very polite.
 
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