What has surprised you the most about life?

feywon said:
See, i learned that early. As toddler most of my clothes were made by Mom from flower printed flour sacks. After my older sisters came to live with us and the age gap meant their hand me downs wouldn't fit me for a couple of years she organized a clothing swap with neighbors.

Being rural poor has it perks-- parents hunted, we all fished. We gave some of it to neighbors and let them fish off our dock, they gave us veggies at harvest time. Still there were times Mama would claim to be dieting to make sure us kids had enough.
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WE were City kids.. poor as you can get, with a mother who ensured we lived in the best part of the city for appearances sake .. which meant no money left for proper food or clothing.. we were raggedy ass kids in the city..
 

hollydolly said:
WE were City kids.. poor as you can get, with a mother who ensured we lived in the best part of the city for appearances sake .. which meant no money left for proper food or clothing.. we were raggedy ass kids in the city..
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I would think it would be worse in the city. There is always the peer pressure and all the things you see around you that you are unable to have, or to do.
 
DebraMae said:
I would think it would be worse in the city. There is always the peer pressure and all the things you see around you that you are unable to have, or to do.
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yep absolutely which of course meant we were bullied a lot at school... which was fantastic.. ( saracasm ) because we'd go home and be on the receiving end of violence there too..
 
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I think it is you @hollydolly who is behind it all. Your life experiences gave you a lot of wisdom, although in a horrible manner. You know people. You know and look for, IMO, motivation. You take what you see, what you intuit, what you know and your subconscious laps it up and spits it out in nightmares, or prophetic dreaming. Takes you places your conscious doesn't want to go.
 
Pepper said:
I think it is you @hollydolly who is behind it all. Your life experiences gave you a lot of wisdom, although in a horrible manner. You know people. You know and look for, IMO, motivation. You take what you see, what you intuit, what you know and your subconscious laps it up and spits it out in nightmares, or prophetic dreaming. Takes you places your conscious doesn't want to go.
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I was trying to come up with the word for that and was having a senior moment and could not think of it. It is EMPATH. Some of us who were abused learned very early to be very tuned in to what was going on with those around us. It was a way of protecting ourselves. We probably do it unconsciously.
 
What surprised me? That I flew commercial airlines for almost 34 years and never had an accident or as we call it, no bent metal. Not even an NTSB incident report filed. That’s a remarkable record that has earned me several kudos from my employer. I have gone before the NTSB twice to testify in other cases. The FAA is the tough cookie. I testified once before their board.

When I flew, I had two specific rules that I followed. 1. Never take chances with the weather. 2. Always take doing the checklists seriously.
 
oldman said:
What surprised me? That I flew commercial airlines for almost 34 years and never had an accident or as we call it, no bent metal. Not even an NTSB incident report filed. That’s a remarkable record that has earned me several kudos from my employer. I have gone before the NTSB twice to testify in other cases. The FAA is the tough cookie. I testified once before their board.

When I flew, I had two specific rules that I followed. 1. Never take chances with the weather. 2. Always take doing the checklists seriously.
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That is a great record! Yeah, I have heard they are tough and have a tendency to want to believe everything is "pilot error".
 
DebraMae said:
I was trying to come up with the word for that and was having a senior moment and could not think of it. It is EMPATH. Some of us who were abused learned very early to be very tuned in to what was going on with those around us. It was a way of protecting ourselves. We probably do it unconsciously.
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Hmmmm... maybe, not sure about that tbh.. I can't possibly have known my mother was going to take her own life.. ... I didn't know for example many years later that my father had died.. but I got told in my dreams.. ..altho' I might have had an inkling that my husband was someone who had cheating tendencies, I had no proof.... he always assured me these were just dreams.. terrible dreams.. he'd even make a joke and say , that I never had any good dreams about him... and I believed him..

...so I dunno about the theory from you 2 ladies .. :unsure:...I'm a realist.. but I cannot help believe there's something that we don't understand that follows us in life..
 
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hollydolly said:
WE were City kids.. poor as you can get, with a mother who ensured we lived in the best part of the city for appearances sake .. which meant no money left for proper food or clothing.. we were raggedy ass kids in the city..
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DebraMae said:
I would think it would be worse in the city. There is always the peer pressure and all the things you see around you that you are unable to have, or to do.
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That's what i meant about perks to being country poor. The wealthy were a minority in our town. Like the guy who ran the tennant farm racket. (He was also head of KKK.) Most folks in the town and county were poor.

If there was someone to either swim with or watch out for me i could usually be found in the river. Otherwise i'd be up our huge oak tree reading. Tho there were times when we kids were fishing (or gathering up Blue Claw crabs for our supper.

This is also why my eldest sister and i have some fond memories of those years, the middle two felt different about it.
 
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feywon said:
That's what i meant about perks to being country poor. The wealthy were a minority in our town. Like the guy who ran the tennant farm racket. (He was also head of KKK.) Most folks in the town and county were poor.

If there was someone to either swim with or watch out for me i could usually be found in the river. Otherwise i'd be up our huge oak tree reading. Tho there were times when we kids were fishing (or gathering up Blue Claw crabs for our supper.

This also why my eldest sister and i have some fond memories of those years, the middle two felt different about it.
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Yes I understood your post.. which is why I replied with the city post.. and yes I can imagine that being poor in the country is a much easier prospect than the alternative in the city... Even my mother during the war she was evacuated alongside all the children in the orphanage to a farm in the country.. taken from the grime , bomb ridden city.. ( she was 5 when war broke out.. ).. and even when she had us kids she'd often talk about the great food they had in the countryside which wasn't available to them in the city.. fresh food which could be grown and picked, fresh milk straight from the cow unpasteurized etc.. when everything in the city was on severe ration.. and even when it wasn't it was expensive
 
hollydolly said:
I think what's surprised me most about 'life' is something that isn't alive as we know it, trying to warn me of impending disasters ...

I get predictions in my dreams.. very real, frighteningly real that haunt me over and over.. .. many times in my life, I get them over and over again.. take a warning, take heed... but altho' I talk about them to people I just feel that I'm not in any position to prevent what the dreams are telling me..

For example, from being a tiny child.. maybe from the age of 9 or 10 I would have dreams that my mother died.. I would be sobbing.. I was never a child who cried, very stoic child usually but this would make me sob , and my mother would come, and say there's no need to worry..but still I'd have the dreams her assurances didn't comfort me.... and sure enough when I was a teen she died..

In between those times..I've dreamt , those frightenly real and upsetting nightmares about other things which have all come to pass...

The most recent was during the whole year of 2020 and half of 2021.. I had recurrent nightmares, probably twice a week. Again so real, that I;d be calling out in my sleep, my husband would tell me he heard me calling..talking.. ... .. . It was always the same, my husband was having an affair, he was going to do several other things that would cause me great anguish, and I'd wake up in a cold sweat, heart completely bursting from my chest, so much I would think I was about to have a heart attack..they were just as real as if they had happened already..

I'd relate the dream to him and he would assure me there was no chance of any of that happening, but still the dreams occurred, and eventually he would say.... I suppose I was doing wrong again in your dream last night..but I could never do that to you..

Out of the blue in the middle of 2021.. during the lockdown, I discovered he was indeed having an affair, and had been for several months.. and everything that played out in my nightmares went on to occur within days of me discovering.. horrendous situation which was completely out of my control...

I only give these 2 examples out of many in my life... because something.. ''someone'' it's warning me of things.. ahead of time.. things that are going to be the most devastating or things that I'm supposed to know... ... that's the biggest surprise for me in life,...and I wish if it;s about to happen whoever is warning me .. would have the power to stop it..

One day I'll discover who or what is behind it all
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Sometimes I think it's God's way of communicating things to us. I've had some dreams that I had over and over and they came true later in life. It's very unnerving.
 
oldman said:
What surprised me? That I flew commercial airlines for almost 34 years and never had an accident or as we call it, no bent metal.

When I flew, I had two specific rules that I followed. 1. Never take chances with the weather. 2. Always take doing the checklists seriously.
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Was that something they drilled into you, or something you just did on your own?
 
Paco Dennis said:
I use to think everything was so simple. Now I have realized that life is immensely complex. I have quit having such strong desires and opinions. That has surprised me. Oh, and how vivid memories that have been forgotten can arise with a lot of clarity, i like these surprises. Having more pain than I expected though. We take the good with the bad.
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This is fascinating because I feel exactly the opposite, life has gotten simpler and simpler as I’ve aged.

I think though that has come about for me as I’ve become more self aware and realized a couple of things which have become fundamental to my approach to life.

One is that I’m an over thinker. I have a tendency to over-think every damn thing! Which of COURSE is going to complicate even the simplest thoughts, decisions and choices. Lessening my impulse to overthink has created more simplicity in my life.

The other thing is that I’ve realized I can control NO ONE but myself. Thinking I can, feeling compelled to try and manage others, even though my intention is just to be helpful, is inappropriate and frustrating and none of my business! My only business lies in controlling myself, in not letting my knee jerk reactions become my actual response, in keeping my nose out of others’ affairs.

As an aside, it DOES help that my own personal give-a-damn broke a few years back so I no longer care what others think of me, and there’s an immense amount of liberation in that! 😂❤️
 
Pappy said:
Sitting in school in the 40s wondering if I’d ever live until I’m 60. I sure shattered the hell out of that. I’ll be 85 in November and still don’t know how I got here. :oops:
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I was entirely convinced all my young life, and right up until I was 45 that, that was when I was going to die. I just couldn't see myself past that lofty age, so I never even thought about being older..
 
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