For boys in particular, a fatherless childhood in many of our urban environments can spell trouble. The drug dealer down on the corner, or local gang members, may become models of male behavior and substitute father figures.
I am not sure what your message is about in this thread. I feel the pain of separation with your daughter couched by many words. Here, you mention that your daughter has condemned you ("I hate you..."). Those were harsh words she said to you. Probably in anger. Those are precious moments between you and her that, frankly IMO, should not be aired in public. When a child feels that way about a parent, whether they are male or female, something is lacking in their life. Did you try and resolve these issues with her? You don't need to answer. Just giving you thoughts to reflect upon.
Yes, I'm leaving out the things you're interested in on this thread or now, (that's okay isn't it, we've covered most if not all the ground so often already!).
You are right in one sense but not in another.
Its hard to be absolutely certain, but anyone who has had a settled home life knows how much our parents did for us, even if we didn't fully appreciate it at the time.
I'll probably come back to you in a private message if that is okay, (in order to try to avoid complicating the thread further here, if you see what I mean?).
No worries.
We are all entitled to our own opinions. If assigning blame for the situation to the court system brings you joy and contentment, go for it.
You mention my "assigning blame,...... to the court system, etc., etc.,".
Here is some research or information connected to the thread topic:
You may find the following site informative concerning the UK family law situation, included the experiences of some fathers have reported:
Children or even young adults are not who should be studied. They are possibly too controlled or essentially brain washed at that age. They should talk to people in their 30's, 40's, 50's 60's and beyond who had difficult and more childhoods. It can take years to come out of the FOG (fear obligation guilt) and process what happened to them. People like me, with an essentially non existent resiliency score had no idea what had and was happening to them. It's taken me years to process it. Not one person told me the childhood I was living was purely insane.
I wouldn't choose to criticise Julia Tugenhat for her study, (if that was your meaning?), not least because children and young people are being "studied" in every report produced by those Cafcass officials, (calling themselves "reporters" no less!).
The reputation of the organisation you have faith in could not have been lower twenty years ago, as I've said.
No system is 100% accurate, but the fact that a system is needed to try to suit the needs of a child is in the right direction. This most recent post you claim wasn't fair 20 years ago. I have no way of knowing other than your posts how decisions were made in your case.
You continue to refuse to answer whether you wish to deny any parent statutory rights.
Regardless of what I might say, no one wishes to state they are unconcerned there are no statutory rights for decent parents/dads/mums/grandparents in the UK.
I actually don't know who this woman is. What I do know is that had I been asked questions as a child about what I was experiencing, I would not have been able to tell them the truth. Either out of fear or I had yet to process that truth.
Yes, Julia Tugendhat certainly came across that situation, very much so, and as you say it took a lot of building up trust in order to learn anything of the true feelings of those children separated from their dads/non-resident parents, (most crucial of all was those children knowing Julia would never allow the child's mother/resident parent, know if the child said anything that might be seen as disloyal by their child).
Yesterday was a day out for us, otherwise I would have responded then.
