Set in my ways?

RadishRose said:
Good luck in your new place, John.
Click to expand...
Thanks, I am not counting the hours but I am counting the days: only 5 more days after today. The new building I am moving to is built of concrete for sound proofing. Right now, I live in a 4 story wooded building where I have been "enjoying" the sound effects of the man above my room running and running around all day. Man, is he ever active but doesn't seem to go anywhere. I am also "enjoying" the sound effects of the lady next door as she bangs and bangs and bangs her cabinet door as she prepares her "gourmet" meals. This place must of been built before soft closing cabinet doors were invented.

I'm like those Jeffersons on TV: "I'm movin' On Up."
 

@Packerjohn Did you have a lease on this or the new place? You’re lucky to be able to find places to rent here. Our vacancy rate is less that 0.5%. Obviously you’ve got rid of excess possessions since you’ve moved on long a
 

NorthernLight said:
Meanwhile, I'm still hoping to do wild and crazy things like running away to South America by bus. Or boat, or hitchhiking. Anything.

Do you become resigned to doing less when you could be doing more? Is there a disconnect between what you want and what you do?
Click to expand...
If you feel a disconnect between what you want and what you’re doing, then you may want to change your actions. But not by accepting just any invitation or by meeting just any group of people. It should be doing something you enjoy doing with quality people who enhance your life.
 
Packerjohn said:
I live in an apartment complex I have named, "The Land of the Living Dead." Mostly ladies doing nothing with their lives just waiting for death. Most are in their 80s and belong to the walker club.
Click to expand...
I appreciate you wanting to live around those who share common interests with you, and I can sympathize with those who may be glad to see you leave. With so little socializing at your complex , it’s hard to know how you could possibly know that most ladies are doing nothing with their lives, or what you consider nothing. Many may have already made enormous contributions to life on this Earth and now, due to physical limitations, are finally doing what the great spiritual leaders have recommended for all ages, and that is taking time to contemplate things that are more mental than physical. It takes a certain amount of maturity to understand there is nothing wrong with physical activity and equally nothing wrong with those with limited physical ability.

Having physical issues that require one to be on a walker, is probably a better preparation for mortality than those who frantically seek constant activity and distraction in order to avoid thinking about their own mortality. But, ready or not, mortality comes to all of us equally and no amount of socializing will stop it.
 
John, I hope you love your new place. I am friends with 3 people in my building that are great examples of enjoying their senior years. They are 76, 78 and 90. The oldest 2 have dog sitting businesses, everyone exercises, drives, serves on the hoa board, and many other activities. Meeting these women have been the best thing about buying my condo. The place you are living now sounds awful.
 
David777 said:
A solo senior with everyday Saturday might learn the day before to plan, print out maps/guides/info, charge batteries, pack camera and day gear, ready clothes, pack food drinks, gas vehicle, and then next day promptly execute day road trips especially those that begin early mornings before one has the common sense to just roll over and go back to sleep. If one waits to sequence through usual morning activities, eating, dressing, etc, one is more likely to abort not confronting whatever effort. I learned to do this decades ago as a young twentysomething 8 to 5 m-f worker with weekends off I was determined to given balance put to productive enjoyment and fun. It could be a day at a golf course, a day in the city with an evening baseball game, or hiking at some regional parkland, whatever. Doing such at short notice on the day one might is a formula for being a couch 'tator.

Tomorrow this old landscape and nature photography enthusiast will rise at 5:15am PDT and be out my door before 6am early dawn. Will drive 130 miles northward on busy SF Bay area freeways before the main commute picks up to an obscure coastal state park beach to close-up photograph colorful wet surf smoothed stones. Had planned to go Monday but weather forecast changed from midday sun to fog. But now Thursday is forecast for sun. Tides are also usable with a higher tide than normal during the night that erases to a natural look any possible previous day footprints, while rearranging stone positions.
Click to expand...
You will be getting close to us so stop by for some tea and a biscuit! Sun is rising over the Cascades now so don't wait too long.
 
Per previous post:

https://www.seniorforums.com/threads/set-in-my-ways.74627/page-2#post-2230402

When I woke up yesterday, was not enthusiastic about the effort for the drive. But been there many times and was out the door within 20 minutes. Met one other person the whole day at the shore and he was a local surprised as I was anyone had climbed down there. Have post processed 3 images so far today. Below downsized for web version of full image A6000 56mm, 6000 by 4000 pixels. 23 shot focus stack blended.

7 hours later back at my Forester, a group of a dozen young party minded UCD gal college students in 5 colorful vans arrived, set up some speakers in the small remote parking lot for music, several climbed atop their vans in colorful outfits and props, and sort of upper body danced as much as they knew how. Some kind of weird endlessly repetitious Ah-Bay-Eee-Yahhh like song on repeat one might hear at an Ecstacy rave event. Seeing me grinning, the leader asked me to join them. I said I was a dancer but my style is more dynamic. She insisted. After readying my car to leave, another 20 or so, half young guys, came back from the shore below so some kind of geology field trip? I joined them for maybe 10 minutes demonstrating what the lower half of a dancer's body could do the gals quite appreciated with much waving when I drove off.

TT00049-72y.jpg
 
Last edited:
Packerjohn said:
I'm 76, live alone and I am right now packing all my "stuff" to move to a new apartment. I envy all you married people who have a help mate where ever you live. I'm with that Welsh poet, Dylan Thomas, and you might say I am "raging against the night" or whatever he was raging against.

I live in an apartment complex I have named, "The Land of the Living Dead." Mostly ladies doing nothing with their lives just waiting for death. Most are in their 80s and belong to the walker club.

Moi, I am moving to another apartment to get away from this terrible inertia. In my new apartment, they have "Happy Hour" twice/weekly, a coffee morning, an exercise room and a library. Nearby is a senior center with various activities.

Yes, you could say, I am "raging" against the night or death or whatever Dylan Thomas was raging against. Sure, it's easier to sit on your butt and do nothing but watch commercials on TV but is that a life worth living? I am making the effort to make everyday something special and something to look forward to. Goodby "Land of the Living Dead" and bonjour to "Happy Hour." Who knows? I just might find a kindred spirited nice lady who feels the same about life as I do? There is always hope, isn't there?
Click to expand...
Hi Packer- I am moving too. This 62 and over community is full of “mean girls” who gossip all day long and decide who they will or won’t speak to. Nothing to do here. Other communities have activities like your new one. But I am going back into mixed aged community near a university. I am sure I will miss this quiet place where the only loud noise you hear is from frequent ambulances taking out those who are ill or passed on. This is a tax credit community as well so if market rent is 1500, you may pay 1300, but every year you have to hand over your bank records - all of them. So I won’t miss that at all. Will gladly pay to avoid that financial aggression. It has been challenging packing and moving out. 2 months now and I’ve needed every single day of it as it’s harder to move when you get older. For me anyway as rather than pay movers to drag my old stuff, I bought a few new things: bed, mattress, sheets, pillows, a smaller microwave, night tables, rug , etc. Only 2 more nights in this Peyton Place , Harper Valley PTA, and I’ll be out of here. A cleaner is coming tomorrow to clean- $175. Moving is expensive. And my new apt is only 350 sq ft. Once it is up and running will send pictures.
 
Sunny said:
Well, northern BC to South America sounds like a bit of a stretch for someone who is having trouble bringing herself to attend outdoor events in her own town. Could it be a little bit of depression, maybe? Just wondering; it sounds kind of extreme.

But I also can sympathize, to a degree. There are things I'd love to do, but I don't any more, because I have trouble negotiating escalators, dealing with stairs, keeping myself running from one thing to another throughout the day. I live in a suburb of Washington, DC, and for many years have enjoyed visiting the Smithsonian museums. I haven't been there in years, not since before Covid. It occurred to me today that I'd like to see a new exhibit they have in the National Gallery of Art, but then I thought about all the logistics of driving down to the nearest Metro station, taking a very long and fast escalator to the trains, riding the train to downtown DC, etc. Not to mention all the hours of walking just within that huge museum. Decided not to try it until I can get someone to go with me. But I still hope to.

Probably you should try baby steps. Maybe call that neighbor back and ask if you can have another chance to do something together?
Click to expand...
I use metro access which will pick you up and take you back home for $6. I have a mobility scooter that makes places like that more enjoyable. The new Air and Space museum opened up so hope to visit museums this coming winter.
 
If anyone wants to 'get out' for a while, there are 3 day bus trips around. I know a 70 something woman who is always going somewhere on a bus trip. 3 days in the poconos, 3 days down to Atlantic City, etc.

They are all group trips of some sort, with group pricing. Overnight in hotels. I guess she can afford it. Sounds expensive.
 
Packerjohn said:
Thanks, I am not counting the hours but I am counting the days: only 5 more days after today. The new building I am moving to is built of concrete for sound proofing. Right now, I live in a 4 story wooded building where I have been "enjoying" the sound effects of the man above my room running and running around all day. Man, is he ever active but doesn't seem to go anywhere. I am also "enjoying" the sound effects of the lady next door as she bangs and bangs and bangs her cabinet door as she prepares her "gourmet" meals. This place must of been built before soft closing cabinet doors were invented.

I'm like those Jeffersons on TV: "I'm movin' On Up."
Click to expand...
@Packerjohn , how did the move go?
 
I understand, Northernlight. If my neighbour suddenly invited me somewhere, I would be suspicious about their motives. I would also be worried about what it might lead to.
If I want to go somewhere, I make my own arrangements. The only thing I did recently which was out of character for me was ask on my local Facebook community page if anyone could recommend a 'man with a van', as I had several items to take to the re-cycling but I don't have a car. A local woman very kindly offered to take me, for which I was very grateful, but I insisted on paying her.
 
Thank you, @Lavinia . A friend put me in touch with this neighbor before I moved here, because I didn't know anyone in town. Then when I moved here, I found out she lives right next door to my apartment building. So she seems to feel some obligation to look after me.

However, she is extremely busy. She does invite me for family dinners every few months, so this invitation wasn't too weird. But it's more of a good neighbor thing rather than a friendly interest. I've come to realize that she isn’t interested in actually becoming friends with me.

@RandomName , I don't think they have anything like that here. The same neighbor did tell me about a same-day bus trip to a provincial park. But I'm not getting on a bus with a bunch of strangers these days. (I'm also not going to the dinners until the pandemic is over.)

When I get my pool pass, I'll be going to the pool a couple of times a week. Between that and the things I'm already doing (housework, etc.), I don't know if I'll have any energy left over for other things. Maybe being "set in my ways" is a necessity now.
 
hollydolly said:
5 more days and 4 more sleeps listening to the acoustics of your neighbours.. and then peace perfect peace...(y)
Click to expand...
Ah but concrete is not a soundproof barrier.
You can still hear sound through it if neighbour is noisy or voices loud though muffled.
My apartment now and others I have lived in are all encased in concrete and I have yet to live in one where it was soundproof.
The floor in particular if covered in vinyl planks can be a nightmare to the person below.
I know. I am living through it now. A man and his dog...grrr enough said.

This brings to mind an apartment I had where the neighbour's bedroom was on the other side of my living room and my sofa etc was along that wall where I sat for TV viewing and..... my oh my, when they got together for their happy time I could hear the lady of the house yelling out her final whoops of pleasure if you know what I mean.:unsure:😜

However, they were a lovely middle aged couple and lovely caring neighbours so I did not have the heart to tell them and cause them embarrassment.love.jpg
 
Last edited:
Mizmo said:
Ah but concrete is not a soundproof barrier.
You can still hear sound through it if neighbour is noisy or voices loud though muffled.
My apartment now and others I have lived in are all encased in concrete and I have yet to live in one where it was soundproof.
The floor in particular if covered in vinyl planks can be a nightmare to the person below.
I know. I am living through it now. A man and his dog...grrr enough said.

This brings to mind an apartment I had where the neighbour's bedroom was on the other side of my living room and my sofa etc was along that wall where I sat for TV viewing and..... my oh my, when they got together for their happy time I could hear the lady of the house yelling out her final whoops of pleasure if you know what I mean.:unsure:😜

However, they were a lovely middle aged couple and lovely caring neighbours so I did not have the heart to tell them and cause them embarrassment.View attachment 240738
Click to expand...
Where I lived before, a woman said she was sure her upstairs neighbour had a horse in her apartment/flat, her footsteps were so noisy. Have you ever tried listening to yourself? It can be difficult to judge how much noise we are making unless someone tells us.
 
Lavinia said:
Where I lived before, a woman said she was sure her upstairs neighbour had a horse in her apartment/flat, her footsteps were so noisy. Have you ever tried listening to yourself? It can be difficult to judge how much noise we are making unless someone tells us.
Click to expand...

Yes, one must think of noise when in community living. I am careful about that as I have lived in apartments for many years and indeed most people are. My next door neighbour now is looking after a friend's dog, a real sweetie, but I can hear him bark in the bedroom which adjoins hers and he likes to sleep in the same room with her. This is just a temporary situation so I can handle it.
 
NorthernLight said:
@Ron Stukey , thank you, but I don't live in that part of the province. Campbell River is nice, right by the water, with many other beautiful places nearby. No wonder your friend is looking there! I was happy in that area, but moved away last year.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I'll try to concentrate more on what I want to do. Good luck with your search.
Click to expand...
Your reply was interesting about Campbell River. My friend went there (from her home so far NW in B C that she can see another country from her yard) to get the medicine and treatment she needs and can't get in NW B C, and because there is one of her few surviving senior friends at CR to help her a little. She also says really helpful senior help is a little hard to get in B C, so my thought was that you two B C residents might be able to help one another. As a strong believer in the concept of "seniors helping seniors" I support her some but really can't help because I know nothing about Canadian senior and legal and medical services.
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top