Senior Dating

[RandomName]

As long as my health is ok, I'm open for a long term relationship even if not actively dating. Am more of a informal hang out with others kind of person especially groups, than those making "dates". I came to learn long ago as a twentysomething during the counterculture era, that shallow relationships held serious psychological and societal issues for we heterosexual biology earth monkeys, though can readily understand why many may not.

I like the idea of the group date, which we would just call going out to a movie together as a group of men and women, maybe 4, or 5 or 6 people. The we can all check each other out, and decide who, if anyone, we want to get closer to.

Then, if you aren't really into anyone too much, there is no 'rejection' of anyone. The night is over, you go home, you have enjoyed some good company, and that's it.

I haven't ever done this, by the way, but I think it would be a low stress way to meet someone with whom you might want to go farther down the path.

 

[David777]

Join Meetup for your local area and search on activities like movies, dining, hiking, etc.

 

[Shalimar]

Thank you, Shalimar !

You are most welcome.

 

[Gary O']

Well, I just killed a bunch of time reading all these posts.... between naps

Why all the self-imposed rules, conditions?

Just meet someone yer attracted to
Let things play out
A kinda kismet thing

 

[katlupe]

I like the idea of the group date, which we would just call going out to a movie together as a group of men and women, maybe 4, or 5 or 6 people. The we can all check each other out, and decide who, if anyone, we want to get closer to.

Then, if you aren't really into anyone too much, there is no 'rejection' of anyone. The night is over, you go home, you have enjoyed some good company, and that's it.

I haven't ever done this, by the way, but I think it would be a low stress way to meet someone with whom you might want to go farther down the path.

This is actually a good idea. Not so much to pair off with someone but to just have people to do something with. Reminds me of my teen years meeting a group of friends at the beach and spending the whole day hanging out and getting something to eat, etc.

 

[Gary O']

Reminds me of my teen years meeting a group of friends at the beach and spending the whole day hanging out and getting something to eat, etc.

Man, ain't THAT a rush of memories! (.....or fantasies)
Drain a keg....or two
Crank up the tunes
Drown each other in the surf
Rag tag football
Good times

spending the whole day

aaaand night
build a fire
Rap and laugh about how we'd be so old by the year 2000
Stare into the flames
Pair off......find a couple huge logs of driftwood........
Pass out
Next morn, jump into the ocean
Try to find yer clothes
......and keys
....... and wallet
.......and car

 

[Mitch86]

Don't forget to use 'Instant Checkmate" to see the back ground of your potential date. You wouldn't want to date a felon or someone with other bad background.

 

[Jondalar7]

I rent rooms to seven women over fifty and the one that is dating shares a new drama every week. The rest say never again, they have me to take out the trash and open jars.

 

[Beezer]

My age and older single guys are usually dirty old men, given up on life, foul-tempered, foul-smelling, judgemental, widowers who had wives that waited on them hand and foot, overzealous with religion, overzealous with politics, belligerent, have too many controlling relatives, bad health, bad breath, bad gas, a big sagging belly, bad dressers with pants bagging off their behinds supported by tacky red suspenders, no sense of humor, and the list goes on.

 

[Blessed]

View attachment 242991

Well, she maybe telling the truth, I am not out there looking but that reply does not surprise me. I had a few coming around after my husband passed and they were just looking for a good woman that they did not have to do all the work that required a good marriage. It they could not do it when they were young why would they think they could do it now.

No thanks. My husband did all the work, you can't compare!! He worked hard to take care of me and our child. Why do some men, and I am not saying all think they can come in and just take over? I know there are many a fine fellow out there, I just don't know them and would not have the trust that would ensure a mutual relationship. I am not going out there searching for Prince Charming when I already found one. I think I am lucky I just found one!!

I don't think I am anything special. Just an average lady. I did work full time, I was the one in charge of running the home, childcare, laundry, cooking and cleaning. The husband was out there working hard, more hours at a job than I did. He deserved to have a nice meal on the table, a clean bed and any other thing I could give. He was happy he went into work with nice meal to warm up when the other guys were eating a bologna sandwich they made that morning. He knew and appreciated the love and care he received. I was the same. If I did the yard work, he did not have to worry about it. We had more time as a family. It is all about loving, caring for one another and doing what you can to make things easier for each other.

I think young people play that this for that game. That is not life. It is about lifting the load when you can. It is about seeing that your partner is struggling and helping them get through the hard times. I hate to say it but the truth is divorce is to easy and love, commitment to one another seems to hard for the younger generation. Yes, there are reasons, no doubt to leave a marriage but it shouldn't be just be for the everyday hard difficulties that come with learning to work hard to achieve the dreams you have. True love knows that sometimes shit will hit the fan and you just have to clean it up and go forward.

 

[MickaC]

Well, she maybe telling the truth, I am not out there looking but that reply does not surprise me. I had a few coming around after my husband passed and they were just looking for a good woman that they did not have to do all the work that required a good marriage. It they could not do it when they were young why would they think they could do it now.

No thanks. My husband did all the work, you can't compare!! He worked hard to take care of me and our child. Why do some men, and I am not saying all think they can come in and just take over? I know there are many a fine fellow out there, I just don't know them and would not have the trust that would ensure a mutual relationship. I am not going out there searching for Prince Charming when I already found one. I think I am lucky I just found one!!

I don't think I am anything special. Just an average lady. I did work full time, I was the one in charge of running the home, childcare, laundry, cooking and cleaning. The husband was out there working hard, more hours at a job than I did. He deserved to have a nice meal on the table, a clean bed and any other thing I could give. He was happy he went into work with nice meal to warm up when the other guys were eating a bologna sandwich they made that morning. He knew and appreciated the love and care he received. I was the same. If I did the yard work, he did not have to worry about it. We had more time as a family. It is all about loving, caring for one another and doing what you can to make things easier for each other.

I think young people play that this for that game. That is not life. It is about lifting the load when you can. It is about seeing that your partner is struggling and helping them get through the hard times. I hate to say it but the truth is divorce is to easy and love, commitment to one another seems to hard for the younger generation. Yes, there are reasons, no doubt to leave a marriage but it shouldn't be just be for the everyday hard difficulties that come with learning to work hard to achieve the dreams you have. True love knows that sometimes shit will hit the fan and you just have to clean it up and go forward.

Thank you for your meaningful post. IMO, all your thoughts are truer than true. You had goals that others could not or would not achieve, and or didn’t want to bother.

 

[RandomName]

I rent rooms to seven women over fifty and the one that is dating shares a new drama every week. The rest say never again, they have me to take out the trash and open jars.

Something I have been wondering about. Do women over 50 simply not have s*xual desires, or is it that they are taking care of those desires without any help from men?

 

[Patek24]

Something I have been wondering about. Do women over 50 simply not have s*xual desires, or is it that they are taking care of those desires without any help from men?

What made you wonder about this, to the point of actually typing up your thoughts and posting them via a question? Do you sincerely expect someone here to 'fess up and tell a story about their most intimate, private moments? C'mon.

 

[Nathan]

Something I have been wondering about. Do women over 50 simply not have s*xual desires, or is it that they are taking care of those desires without any help from men?

What made you wonder about this, up to the point of actually typing your thoughts and posting them via a question? Do you sincerely expect someone here to 'fess up and tell a story about their most intimate, private moments? C'mon.

it's a fair question, people here share all kinds of personal thoughts.

 

[Patek24]

it's a fair question, people here share all kinds of personal thoughts.

But of course. Everything here is fair game.

 

[Blessed]

What made you wonder about this, up to the point of actually typing your thoughts and posting them via a question? Do you sincerely expect someone here to 'fess up and tell a story about their most intimate, private moments? C'mon.

Yes, he does, just something anything to fuel his own thoughts. He is just looking for a casual relationship with one or many women. Poor thing, he can't find that, he says he just wants "some friends" some one to hang out with. See my post #22, and he took offense to that but feels it is appropriate to ask this question.

I am sure he can find what he wants, just upload the apps "Sluts are us" and "Score a whore". They won't want a douple dip cone of chocolate chip they will want $500 upfront, after all it is a casual relationship. What is money between "friends"?

 

[Bella]

Yes, he does, just something anything to fuel his own thoughts. He is just looking for a casual relationship with one or many women. Poor thing, he can't find that, he says he just wants "some friends" some one to hang out with. See my post #22, and he took offense to that but feels it is appropriate to ask this question.

I am sure he can find what he wants, just upload the apps "Sluts are us" and "Score a whore". They won't want a douple dip cone of chocolate chip they will want $500 upfront, after all it is a casual relationship. What is money between "friends"?

@Blessed, you're at it again. Please stop these vehement attacks on @RandomName.

Bella

 

[Bella]

Something I have been wondering about. Do women over 50 simply not have s*xual desires, or is it that they are taking care of those desires without any help from men?

@RandomName, this is a loaded question, my friend. It's one that can actually be answered, but not to any degree of satisfaction because, unfortunately, this forum does not allow truly frank discussions on topics of this nature. I don't know if you recall, but one of my posts in this thread where we were discussing s exual desire and performance wasn't just censored, it was deleted. I wish I could honestly respond to your question, but I won't chance it.

To partially answer your question, I'll venture to say, yes, women over 50 do have s exual desires. How "they are taking care of those desires" is up to the individual.

Turn about is fair play. When men over 50 have s exual desires but no woman in sight, how are they "taking care of those desires?" Give that some thought.

Bella

 

[Blessed]

@Blessed, you're at it again. Please stop these vehement attacks on @RandomName.

Bella

I will be happy to do that when he quits posting what I feel are attacks on women that are demeaning, insulting because he does not get the attention he believes he should have. They imply we are lacking in some way but does not consider to think that the problem, the reason is his, not ours.

 

[Bella]

I will be happy to do that when he quits posting what I feel are attacks on women that are demeaning, insulting because he does not get the attention he believes he should have. They imply we are lacking in some way but does not consider to think that the problem, the reason is his, not ours.

@Blessed, he has not made "attacks on women"! Show me where he has made "attacks on women". There are none. You just don't like him or what he has to say. You really need to stop this.

Bella

 

[Beezer]

 

[Blessed]

Are You In A Non-Relationship Relationship? > https://www.thethingsiwishiknew.com/are-you-in-a-non-relationship-relationship/

"Are you currently spending all your free time with someone special? Dinners, late nights, weekend getaways, Sundays all day and dinner with family and friends. You are simply over the moon for them but then it occurs to you, are you in a relationship? As far as you’re concerned this is who you want to be with. Do they feel the same? You haven’t had the “we’re exclusive” conversation but given all of the above, you’re together right?! Are you in a non-relationship relationship?

What It Looks Like​

For those who don’t know what a non-relationship relationship is I thought I would give you a little insight. Who knows, you might be in one right now and not realize it. Simply put a non-relationship relationship is a relationship that entails no actual commitment. You pretty much do all the things that “couples do” but it’s not official. As in, he’s not telling his friends or anyone that you’re his girlfriend, you’re just a friend. In a non-relationship relationship, one or both individuals have one foot out the door. Technically, in their minds, they’re still single, which means they aren’t obliged to you.

You might be thinking, isn’t this the same thing as friends with benefits? Not even close. In most friends with benefits scenarios interactions are purely physical; that’s it. No breakfast in bed, cuddle sessions, spending time with friends or family for that matter. You’re in, get your benefit, and then you’re out no questions asked.

This is where things get a little fuzzy for people because when you are in “friends with benefits” situations you both know where you stand. In a non-relationship relationship, you spend a lot of time in the grey area. You create a foundation for what would lead to a relationship or simply be a relationship without it ever happening. It’s definitely a mind f*ck. But guess what you put yourself in it. This isn’t what you want? Then speak the f*ck up! It’s that simple. If it’s just a good time for a however long for them (until they find someone else), then move on. Don’t stick around hoping and waiting…for what? You don’t want a partner who isn’t sure about you. The one thing that I have learned about love and relationships is that you should be certain.

Caught Up In Your Feelings ​

I know, you met the family, you’ve shared your hopes and dreams. Long walks, bubble baths and deep conversations. It’s nice to be vulnerable. Don’t worry it’s okay, you haven’t lost anything because you did this with the wrong person. Or maybe they’re not the wrong person, they just aren’t your long-term person. The beauty about this is that you are allowing yourself to experience this type of vulnerability. With that said, you have to know when to move on. It’s time to move on. He/she will never give you what you need. You have fallen in love with the comfortability in this union and this has led you to believe that this is the place for you to land permanently. It’s not.

In this case, this is not your place and this is definitely not your person. Guess what? Don’t worry, they are coming your way. Don’t let this dishearten you. Non-relationship relationships are hard to leave because in most cases a friendship forms, there is a bond there that although it may not be enough for one or both of you if you take a step back and look at things clearly. Not only is it hard to leave the physical comfort of someone else’s presence, you know that you may be leaving this new found confidant and friend behind. If I am honest, I doubt that you will be the type of friends you would like to be once you decide to make things platonic. This rarely works.

Knowing When To Leave​

I would say now, like as you are reading this! Don’t waste your time with the “why aren’t we together conversation”. You’re just not. All the reasons they give you won’t matter. The only reason, which you already know, is that you aren’t getting what you need out of this. This is your answer. I am sorry if you feel blindsided. Everyone has been here before. This comes down to self-love and the loyalty to oneself that’s built with this. You aren’t loving yourself by letting someone love you less than you desire. The happiness you think may exist with them will never be as beautiful as it could be with someone who truly wants to be with you.

Don’t hold on. This love is not worth having. You don’t want to stumble on someone else’s tight rope when you can balance on your own. In this case, unfortunately, and I believe in LOVE, trust me I do, love is not enough. Feelings don’t sustain and nurture good relationships actions do."

Bella

I will thank you for this post. I don't have the skill, to say things in a round about way. I just call it as I see it and sometimes it is straight up brutal. Some people need to step back and really look deep into there soul to find the problem is not in others but within themselves.

Having an intimate relationship with someone is more than just a body function. No, I don't have a lot of experience in that arena. I have only been with one person, my husband, in my whole life. No, I am not looking for someone else. Should I decide that I want to do that I would be looking for a good, kind, hardworking man that values God, family. You are right, I will not post anything else regarding this matter. What I have said could be taken as cruel, mean. It was just my honest straight forward opinion. I also will close by saying that he is not likely to find what he is looking for because most women of our age are just not looking for that type of relationship. I do, however, have respect for you!

 

[Beezer]

Let's lighten the mood a bit here...

 

[Bella]

I will thank you for this post. I don't have the skill, to say things in a round about way. I just call it as I see it and sometimes it is straight up brutal. Some people need to step back and really look deep into there soul to find the problem is not in others but within themselves.

Having an intimate relationship with someone is more than just a body function. No, I don't have a lot of experience in that arena. I have only been with one person, my husband, in my whole life. No, I am not looking for someone else. Should I decide that I want to do that I would be looking for a good, kind, hardworking man that values God, family. You are right, I will not post anything else regarding this matter. What I have said could be taken as cruel, mean. It was just my honest straight forward opinion. I also will close by saying that he is not likely to find what he is looking for because most women of our age are just not looking for that type of relationship. I do, however, have respect for you!

That post was to define what a "non-relationship relationship" is, not to say anything in a roundabout way.

@Blessed, you already know I like you. I also know that you are an intelligent, passionate woman who is capable of expressing an "honest, straight-forward opinion," "straight up" without being "brutal," "cruel" or "mean" and without attacking someone else if you choose to do so.

I have respect for others' opinions, including yours, but how they are delivered is as important as what they have to say.

Bella

 

[Blessed]

That post was to define what a "non-relationship relationship" is, not to say anything in a roundabout way.

@Blessed, you already know I like you. I also know that you are an intelligent, passionate woman who is capable of expressing an "honest, straight-forward opinion", "straight up" without being "brutal", "cruel" or "mean" and without attacking someone else if you choose to do so.

I have respect for others' opinions, but how they are delivered is as important as what they have to say.

Bella

I get it, that is why I made this post. I am aware that I can sometimes be unkind when I get upset by something. You have the ability to look at things from all angles, sometimes I do not. It does not change how I feel, what I think but does want me to take a step back. I will work on my delivery and try to have your grace in future.