Taking Away The Car Keys

dseag2 said:
As for me, I still have quick reflexes behind the wheel at 64 y/o. I used to drive 50 highway miles from Dallas to Plano on weekends to visit my mother, but since she passed in November 2021 I think I have been on a highway twice. Traffic has gotten so bad in Dallas due to the influx of new people that I stay in my 14-mile bubble these days. I hope to keep driving well into my 70's.
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I hope you continue to drive. I kind of smiled when I read that part of your post. We recently took a trip down to Kingman Az. about 120 miles one way. Route 93 going south was a little ragged but the outside lane was better. I mention this because my 77 yr. old wife figured that out & drove the 75 mph. speed limit in the outside lane.

I'm 81 & it was my turn to drive way back. 93 north must have been resurfaced because it was as smooth as a baby's bottom. Traffic was a little heavier but not to bad. I was in the outside high speed lane about the 6th. car back. The radio on, zero road noise doing the 95 mph. A couple of the long down hills I noticed the group I was in eased up to 100.

Only real problem I noticed was gas mileage going was better than on the return.
 

officerripley said:
It's been proven--the Toyota Corp. was a sponsor for one test I heard about--that people usually feel that they're fine behind the wheel after they really no longer are. One reason: the peripheral vision of the human eye starts to decline at the age of 50; therefore, I was told in an AARP Mature Drivers class I took, that no one over the age of 50 should ever make a left turn at an intersection without a designated left-turn signal; that there are just too many accidents of a 50 year old trying to make a left turn and because of that worsening peripheral vision missing oncoming or side-coming cars and causing accidents.

So if you feel that you're still fine behind the wheel, you might really be, but you might not. But if you feel like you are not still fine behind the wheel, you probably aren't and should trust your feelings. Sad but true.
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At 70, DH & I aren't yet thinking about giving up driving. I do like the left turn advice and will do my best to remember and follow it, although it will require some serious rerouting.

It was wrenching for my mom and in-laws to give up driving. Not looking forward to when that day comes, first for DH or me, and eventually for the other one.
 
The thing that concerns me the most about this matter is what I've noticed in my own situation with my huzz and in some of the comments here on SF and other sites is that this matter is always phrased, "when the time comes that I/we can no longer drive" etc.; it's always "when, when, when" and in a lot of cases, including my own, if the time isn't right around the corner, it's already here. But so many people, including my Huzz, kept pushing it away with "when", "someday", "not just yet"; denial.
 
I will be driving/riding into my 90's hopefully, coming up on 72 now. Was talking to an optometrist a few weeks ago, and she said the cataract surgery is becoming so good that by the time I require it I will have the vision of a 20 year old. Now if they could just come up with something for the rest of me. Haven't been riding my motorcycle much this year, mostly because the forward control, chopper oriented bike that I have ridden for 30 some years is just no longer comfortable. Will probably be looking for something different this winter when prices are lower. Won't be selling the old one, just to many fond memories involved, and will use it for short rides.

dseag2 said:
The last time I saw my uncle, he was in his mid-80's and had driven a motorcycle with his wife on the back from Greensboro, NC to Asheville, NC in the rain. He told me when he was too old to kick his leg over the seat he would stop riding!
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Geezer Garage said:
I will be driving/riding into my 90's hopefully, coming up on 72 now. Was talking to an optometrist a few weeks ago, and she said the cataract surgery is becoming so good that by the time I require it I will have the vision of a 20 year old. Now if they could just come up with something for the rest of me. Haven't been riding my motorcycle much this year, mostly because the forward control, chopper oriented bike that I have ridden for 30 some years is just no longer comfortable. Will probably be looking for something different this winter when prices are lower. Won't be selling the old one, just to many fond memories involved, and will use it for short rides.
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Well ...... if ya'd like a BMW, or a Victory ? Let me know. I have both, and doubt I'll ever ride again myself.
 
Geezer Garage said:
I will be driving/riding into my 90's hopefully, coming up on 72 now. Was talking to an optometrist a few weeks ago, and she said the cataract surgery is becoming so good that by the time I require it I will have the vision of a 20 year old. Now if they could just come up with something for the rest of me. Haven't been riding my motorcycle much this year, mostly because the forward control, chopper oriented bike that I have ridden for 30 some years is just no longer comfortable. Will probably be looking for something different this winter when prices are lower. Won't be selling the old one, just to many fond memories involved, and will use it for short rides.
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It's not just vision deterioration that makes us unsafe drivers. Age brings declines in peripheral vision, depth perception, attention to appropriate detail (being so distracted by the cute kid and puppy on the sidewalk that we don't register the brake lights on the car in front of us) and reflex time.
 
My husband was only too happy to have me drive, even when we were both still working and far from thinking about not driving any more.

My father drove for much longer than he should have. In his mid 80s, there were many minor fender benders till one day he ran a stop sign and broadsided another car. Thankfully no one was hurt. On his way home, he drove through his garage door, into the laundry room and bathroom and took down all the pipes. The next day he called my brother (who lived 7 hrs away) and told him there was a "big leak" in the basement.

That was when we realized how bad he had become. His car was totaled and for five years after that he was waiting for Ford to send him a new car. Because "I paid my insurance all those years." Things happen gradually and then suddenly escalate.
 
I think there may be a business opportunity in this.........Retired Police officers, who would do friendly "drive along observations " of senior drivers for an hour, then report to the concerned family members about the ACTUAL driving ability of that person. A experienced but neutral opinion, given with examples of the driver's mistakes and unsafe driving practices. Here in the Province of Ontario Medical Doctors MUST report people ) of any age ) who are medically unfit to drive, to the Ministry of Transport driver examination service, which results in the driver having to do a vision test, a written test, and a road test with a driver examiner in the car. If they fail any part of the testing process their license is revoked. One of the pretexts that can be used is to take the car and hide it, telling the senior that it was stolen. No car, no driving. JimB.
 
jimintoronto said:
One of the pretexts that can be used is to take the car and hide it, telling the senior that it was stolen. No car, no driving.
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You're joking, right?

Unless the senior involved is seriously cognitively deficient, here's what the perpetrator of this insulting fraud will be hearing:
"Let's call the police and make out a report. I'm going to call my insurance agent. Why haven't we made a police report? I believe my insurance entitles me to a free or reduced-rate rental car, can we check that out? When should I start shopping for another car? Why haven't we made a police report or called my insurance company? WHAT IS GOING ON HERE???"
 
StarSong said:
You're joking, right?

Unless the senior involved is seriously cognitively deficient, here's what the perpetrator of this insulting fraud will be hearing:
"Let's call the police and make out a report. I'm going to call my insurance agent. Why haven't we made a police report? I believe my insurance entitles me to a free or reduced-rate rental car, can we check that out? When should I start shopping for another car? Why haven't we made a police report or called my insurance company? WHAT IS GOING ON HERE???"
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No I wasn't joking. You assume too much. JimB.
 
BC Flash said:
Lee: My 2 cents: Take some driving lessons to see how you manage. The traffic (everywhere) is not the same as 10 years ago - it is much heavier and faster. Previously, most drivers stop at "amber" light, now they race through it to save a few minutes.
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Yes. Sometimes I'm not sure whether it's changes out there or "just me." There are things about driving across the country that never used to bother me (certain hills, etc.) that were very unpleasant when I did it last year.

I had planned to live with my sister, in a small city where I'd lived off and on for 40 years. When I got there, I couldn't stand the traffic. I tried to avoid it by taking rural roads, but they were bad too.

Now I live in an underpopulated town, with quiet roads that suit me fine. For now.

As for my doctor reporting me -- another reason not to go to the doctor.
 
Lee said:
He wants me to start driving.
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You are very fortunate that he gave in to you so easily.

My sister: She passed away 3 years ago tomorrow. Dementia in her mid 60s, would not give up the car. My nephew who lived not far away from her followed her when she drove just a few blocks to a convenience store. She left the car door wide open, went into the store. When she came back out, she got in the car and drove without stopping at lights nor stop signs.
She would not listen to her son at all, on any topic. I think he was a little too blunt for her strong personality.

I called her a few days later and told her a made-up story of a "poor woman who got confused and drove into a store window. She also hit and killed 2 dogs that were on the sidewalk" I went on and on about how horrible, the dogs did not have a chance, etc, etc. My sister was a huge animal lover and animal advocate.
That did it. She asked her son to sell the car because she "did not like to drive anymore."

I think somehow making her think it was her own idea was the only way to go in this instance.
 
Buckeye said:
i'm 76 and still drive and ride my Harley. OTOH, my lady friend, who is the same age, has not driven for several years. So is 70 too old? Only you can say. I hope to stop driving at 80.
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I no longer drive at night. The curbs and white lines were getting fuzzy. I also avoid driving into the direct sun which is more of a problem these days. I am 85.
 
Continuing to drive into increasing age is something that differs from person to person and depends on a variety of factors. I'm 86 in December and still driving and expect to be doing so until age 90, but not often because I don't go anywhere often - mainly doctor and dental appointments mostly. Covid is still very present and I have no wish to battle with it and there are too many anti vaxxers and deniers to trust the public in general.
I gave up my Honda XX motorcycle at 82 - a sad event for me, I have all my other toys here at home though, plus family so I am rarely alone - in fact, sometimes I wish for more "alone time". My daughter is currently looking for a job after four years of recovery from a horrible accidental fall. I must admit I'm looking forward to having the house to myself for a few hours every day. My grandson has gone back to work after graduating from college this last spring and my great grandson is in school most of the day, so I will have several hours 5 days a week to enjoy as I please :).
 
Lee said:
I was forced to give hubby a choice, I could not do another death defying drive to the doctor which is over 80 miles away on a busy highway. The last time was enough. He was falling asleep, finally pulled over when I literally screamed my lungs out.

He is ok for small early morning trips just in town but he does tend to tire later in the day as he likes his nappy poo time. And this appointment for today was for noon which would mean another hell raising drive back. He is 84 and has health problems also.

Last week hubby got an ultimatum.....he loves this home but I told him we were selling and moving back to the town 80 miles away where all his doctors are. And I meant it and he knew it.


OR

He agrees to let a neighbor drive us to the city, we would pay him of course.

I will still let him drive if early in the day, that may change but I see no risk for now. He agreed to this.

He wants me to start driving. I am 70, what do you think? Too old to get back behind the wheel?
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Apparently he can still drive but 80 miles is too much and it is a lot, so why doesn't he just get a doctor closer to home? Moving is a big deal too, and at 84, is it a good idea to change everything on him all at once, especially in his sunset years? If I was him, I would not like the hear the words ultimatum and forced. Just some constructive criticism. :)
 
I'd stick to the original ultimatum, He agrees to let a neighbor drive us to the city, we would pay him of course.

You could say "or Uber" but your ultimatum isn't an ultimatum if he gets to make up new parameters....it's a compromise. Which is ok, but if you're not comfortable being the driver, I'd stick to the original ultimatum.
 
jimintoronto said:
Here in the Province of Ontario Medical Doctors MUST report people ) of any age ) who are medically unfit to drive,
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I wish that were the case here. When I said something to my stepdad's physician (who was also my physician) about stepdad's driving, he said, "What the heck do you expect ME to do about it?!"
 
#1) check with your state DMV to find out if a Mature Driving Course is available. A vital refresher for older drivers!

#2) if you don't have a car with the newer safety features, I suggest thinking about maybe a recent model used car as soon as budget allows. The newest safety features are INVALUABLE. The newer technology makes it much easier to drive safely. Automatic hi-beam dimming, daytime running lights, rearview cameras, emergency braking (many different systems are used by auto mfgs), side mirror alerts (when cars are in your 'blind spot') - all of these make driving safely easier, especially as one ages.

I'm 71, and 2 yrs older than my spouse. But I have seen too many of my peers lose their partners/spouses and they hate/fear driving, because they haven't done it in decades. They get freaked out at traffic and won't drive anywhere 'unknown to them' at night.

We love where we live, but a car is essential. We plan to move when it isn't safe or wise for us to drive any longer...but for now, I do 99.9% of all the driving. I did not want to be that senior citizen who always needs a ride because they're reluctant to drive on their own.
 

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