Tit for Tat

Bellbird

Bellbird

-Oceania-South Pacific
Location
New Zealand
Has the art of communication gone or was it ever there.?
I am referring to anyone you meet, when you feel that they have hurt your feelings or annoyed you somehow, do you communicate with them and ask what the problem is or do you give them tit for tat at a later date. ? The latter seems to be the norm.
 

Funny you should mention this. There is a person I feel I may have annoyed or hurt, not sure which, or both. Or, maybe I didn't and I'm just imagining this person is annoyed or hurt. I feel I may even be imagining the signals that this person is annoyed or hurt. So, if I'm still imagining this in a few days I will definitely be apologizing to this person for my real or perceived ideas. Better to do this than to wonder as I really like this person.
 

I'm not a revenge kind of person. And if someone hurts my feelings or treats me like I'm stupid, I let it go usually. Yet I know full well what they kid. They are the fools, not me.

A couple of years ago, I was overwhelmed with some stuff one day at work, so my supervisor asked someone who does computer work, but used to do the job I do to help me with one task. When I saw her I said "oh k. you are here to help" I was taken aback by how nasty she was to me. Stated something inappropriate and stormed off to supposedly finish this task. I guess the 20 minutes helping me was crunching into one of her multiple smoke breaks. I ended up apologizing to her. I knew it was wrong, but I did it to keep the peace. I don't like her, but she doesn't know that. And I'm sick of doing this. Recently she went off on someone and then when out to smoke. On her way back the person she went off on lit into her. I enjoyed every second of it.
 
Pepper said:
Funny you should mention this. There is a person I feel I may have annoyed or hurt, not sure which, or both. Or, maybe I didn't and I'm just imagining this person is annoyed or hurt. I feel I may even be imagining the signals that this person is annoyed or hurt. So, if I'm still imagining this in a few days I will definitely be apologizing to this person for my real or perceived ideas. Better to do this than to wonder as I really like this person.
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Probably you should clear up the confusion first. Like maybe ask them "Are we ok?" That way, too, they'll know why you didn't apologize sooner, if indeed you two are not ok cuz they're hurt or whatever.
 
Can't recall any situation similar to what's been mentioned? If someone was upset by something I said, I guess I wasn't aware of it or didn't give a sh$t.
Most , if not all of my longtime friends are dead, I rarely socialize outside of family, and within the family I can't recall an exchange of words that bothered me. The old saying, "One big happy family" seems to fit us well. :)
 
Murrmurr said:
Probably you should clear up the confusion first. Like maybe ask them "Are we ok?" That way, too, they'll know why you didn't apologize sooner, if indeed you two are not ok cuz they're hurt or whatever.
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Too late, person refused apology. I will miss this person, but oh, well, in the end who gives a phuck. Not much really matters to me anymore, and you know what? I wish I had this attitude my whole life. It would have been happier.

That's the joke of life. One doesn't realize how silly the whole thing was until it's too late.
 
Bellbird said:
Has the art of communication gone or was it ever there.?
I am referring to anyone you meet, when you feel that they have hurt your feelings or annoyed you somehow, do you communicate with them and ask what the problem is or do you give them tit for tat at a later date. ? The latter seems to be the norm.
Click to expand...
Tit for tat is much the same as an eye for an eye. And an eye for an eye would make the world go blind.
 
Bellbird said:
Has the art of communication gone or was it ever there.?
I am referring to anyone you meet, when you feel that they have hurt your feelings or annoyed you somehow, do you communicate with them and ask what the problem is or do you give them tit for tat at a later date. ? The latter seems to be the norm.
Click to expand...
nope I don't do a tit for tat... I let Karma take it's own revenge...

..as for people who call themselves my friend one minute and deliberately cause me angst another..I don't accept that.. you get one chance with me.. do it twice and you're history!!..Their loss certainly not mine!!
 
Pepper said:
Funny you should mention this. There is a person I feel I may have annoyed or hurt, not sure which, or both. Or, maybe I didn't and I'm just imagining this person is annoyed or hurt. I feel I may even be imagining the signals that this person is annoyed or hurt. So, if I'm still imagining this in a few days I will definitely be apologizing to this person for my real or perceived ideas. Better to do this than to wonder as I really like this person.
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I've done that a few times
Some thank me and we go our way
Some have no idea why.......then we laugh
Others don't respond at all....gave it a shot

I don't carry much luggage in the burden dept
 
Pepper said:
Too late, person refused apology. I will miss this person, but oh, well, in the end who gives a phuck. Not much really matters to me anymore, and you know what? I wish I had this attitude my whole life. It would have been happier.

That's the joke of life. One doesn't realize how silly the whole thing was until it's too late.
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People who refuse apologies from you don't merit a relationship with you. I always say. ;)

Some things are unforgivable, but I don't imagine you poisoned their puppies or something equally diabolical.
 
DaveA said:
Can't recall any situation similar to what's been mentioned? If someone was upset by something I said, I guess I wasn't aware of it or didn't give a sh$t.
Most , if not all of my longtime friends are dead, I rarely socialize outside of family, and within the family I can't recall an exchange of words that bothered me. The old saying, "One big happy family" seems to fit us well. :)
Click to expand...
"I guess I wasn't aware of it or didn't give a sh$t", a good way to be.
 
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