I am having a huge problem getting past this. Restricted to which bathroom you use? Storing your food in your bedroom? Laundry room off limits?
I agree. And it makes me wonder if Penelope Plum's family would help her should she need it. I'm not specifically saying financially but physically as well.
None of those things sound important to me, Area rug, they can wait and find on clearance or second hand, Carpets to be cleaned, they can rent machine and do it themselves. Robot vacuum, give me a break, they need to have a normal vacuum, the kind you have to push around the room.
It is really helping me to talk about this. The more I write down the more I realize how bad it’s gotten.
They’re divorced but I got no respect there either when still married. They taught my grandson to disrespect me also which breaks my heart. They think normal things aren’t good enough, they think they are too busy and too important for things like cleaning even if they’re paid for it. Nothing but the best is good enough. Having to pay to replace the area rug was especially annoying because I’ve had two bad falls from tripping on area rugs here. I told them I need level surfaces or I’m at risk for falling when I moved in, but they felt that protecting the carpet from spills was more important and spent a bunch of money on very expensive area rugs. They just complain about me “dragging my feet” and blame me if a rug in a high traffic area wears out. Wish I had a crystal ball and would have known these things would happen, I never would have moved in. I did not raise my kids to behave this way.
Jesus Christ!! you are not a live in maid and cook. You are the mother of one of these people. How dare, how can they treat you like that. I maybe older but I can still ball up my fist and punch someone in the nose. I would not put up with from a stranger but if that were my son or daughter I would give them a hurt beyond imagination. There is no excuse for their behavior at all.I can do laundry when they aren’t here. I just can’t store all my cleaning tools and supplies in there as I could if it were truly a shared home. I have to keep anything I don’t want to be ruined or discarded in my room. They complain that I don’t do enough cleaning. When they complained about the kitchen floor not being mopped I bought a special bucket a mop so I could do it without bending and they didn’t like where I stored the bucket on the floor in the laundry room and moved it to a high shelf where I can’t reach it. I have some limited room for food storage in the kitchen, but I can only keep things there that I know they won’t eat. I asked them not to eat items I put in one of the crisper drawers and they resent that. Items I’m forced to store in the fridge otherwise they will eat if they want to. I’ve had no cream for my coffee in the morning on more than one occasion so I have to keep two bottles in the fridge to make sure I’ll have some. These things happen even though I buy groceries and cook meals when they ask me to, and I buy most of the cleaning supplies even though I do clean every day and pay them $400 a month for cleaning (which they don’t do). I told them when I moved in that I can’t do floors anymore, can’t run around picking up things off the floor all the time, because I have scoliosis. I have 3 curves in my spine, that’s why I really miss having access to a bathtub to soak the aches and pains away. I honestly believe at this point I could give every nickel I have to them and it still wouldn’t be enough and they would still treat me like an unwelcome, uninvited guest. Some days I feel like Cinderella Granny.
That is the most stupid thing I have ever heard. I live here, pay you rent, you treat me like trash but I should still give you money when I move out. In what world would that be a normal thing. Apparently, you have more than one disabled child, this one, the one you live with is out of their mind and belongs to be committed for mental problems.They’ve already tried to convince me I should continue giving them money after I move out.
You are very fortunate, I’m happy for you. The light bulb is out in the hallway to the bedrooms for a couple months I think. I don’t dare ask. I asked for help getting old nasty looking curtains taken down and towel bars fixed right after I moved in. I tried doing it myself and couldn’t do it. Asked for help but it annoyed them so I didn’t ask again. So no towel bars and nasty looking curtains are still up there after 2 years. I have one remaining lightbulb working over the sink but again don’t dare ask. They get too annoyed when I ask for help. Just now I asked ny grandson to help me clean up the mess he made in the kitchen making some kind of gooey play dough stuff and he tried to convince me I made the mess because he cleaned up after himself. He’s almost teenaged. Old enough to know better. Very lazy and I’m constantly having to clean up after him so I will not be blamed for the condition of the place. That’s how he was raised, but I never allowed my kids to behave this way when they were kids, so I don’t know why this is happening. This is helping to write this down because now that I’m writing it all down it’s sinking in how bad this has gotten. Embarrassing.
Wow, that’s evil. I will never understand why some people would rather take from others instead of working for it honestly. Oftentimes it looks like more work to commit fraud from what I’ve read. I have protected the disability money and made sure it gets spent appropriately, but I hate to think what would happen if they got control. I have felt paranoid that they might try to make me sound like a crazy or demented person and try to take total control. I refuse to answer questions about my income because of this kind of behavior and for that reason they call me “controlling”.
Actually, I am afraid that may be exactly what’s happening, since a grandparent and uncle had bipolar it’s a definite possibility. But I don’t dare suggest counseling as long as I’m under this roof. I don’t want to trigger any rage attacks before I’m safely out of this situation, so I think it’s best if I just keep my head down until I move out.
Social services here are totally buried, I can’t expect help from that quarter. But thanks for the suggestion. They don’t help people until they’re living on the street here, and usually not then.
Doesn’t matter how little money you have, seems like someone wants to take it.What money. I haven't any to escess.
I highly doubt it in my case. Once they know how little I have, that is
I guess there must be those who are lowdown enough to go after a meager low income.Well, I guess that’s the silver lining huh?
Seriously I never expected anyone to be interested in my small fixed income either, but apparently I was wrong.
I won’t be going anywhere alone. I have always provided a home that is safe and will continue to do so, we’ll be moving out together. I am the one who is being impacted in this situation. I would not tolerate any abuse of a disabled person, especially one I love. I’m just glad I figured out it wouldn’t be an appropriate placement for him after I’m gone so I can work on figuring out something good for him. So it’s actually a good thing I moved in long enough to figure out what the true situation is before doing the paperwork. I have not and never would leave a disabled person alone In the care of people who behave this way. Fortunately I am the 24/7 caregiver and that has never been necessary. I’m looking at rentals online and preparing to move out.
Wishing you all the best @PenelopePlum and hopefully you will be in a happier situation in the not too distant futureI won’t be going anywhere alone. I have always provided a home that is safe and will continue to do so, we’ll be moving out together. I am the one who is being impacted in this situation. I would not tolerate any abuse of a disabled person, especially one I love. I’m just glad I figured out it wouldn’t be an appropriate placement for him after I’m gone so I can work on figuring out something good for him. So it’s actually a good thing I moved in long enough to figure out what the true situation is before doing the paperwork. I have not and never would leave a disabled person alone In the care of people who behave this way. Fortunately I am the 24/7 caregiver and that has never been necessary. I’m looking at rentals online and preparing to move out.
Run don't walk... It's so sad that your own daughter can treat you this way, but sadly not unusual... and she would no doubt be appalled and angry if she were to be confronted by the fact that it's elder abuse.. but she's unlikely to change her ways even IF she was confronted... so it's imperative you get out now, while you are still able..I won’t be going anywhere alone. I have always provided a home that is safe and will continue to do so, we’ll be moving out together. I am the one who is being impacted in this situation. I would not tolerate any abuse of a disabled person, especially one I love. I’m just glad I figured out it wouldn’t be an appropriate placement for him after I’m gone so I can work on figuring out something good for him. So it’s actually a good thing I moved in long enough to figure out what the true situation is before doing the paperwork. I have not and never would leave a disabled person alone In the care of people who behave this way. Fortunately I am the 24/7 caregiver and that has never been necessary. I’m looking at rentals online and preparing to move out.
