Do you have a close relationship with your nieces and nephews?

I have one niece and one nephew. I'm close to my niece and her kids. I love my nephew but I can't say I'm close to him.

I have about 25 nieces and nephews from my late husband's large family. I'm close to a couple of them, most I've never met.
 

I have 15 nieces and nephews on my side of the family and more than that on my husband's. When I was growing up I was very close to my nieces and nephews. Probably because I'm not that much older than they were. I was born late in my parents marriage.

I noticed us drifting when my parents died. I rarely ever talk to any of my nieces or nephews any more or for that matter hardly any of my brothers or sister. You would think with such a large family there would be a lot of closeness but no. Everyone has gone their own way.
 
I'm close to my niece and nephew. They both live out of town. Both happily married w/children.
I just don't see them very often. I talk on the phone w/my nephew a lot. He's 45 and just had his first child.

I used to babysit them when they were small, and lived down the road a piece from us...
 
Alligatorob said:
Yes, I make an effort to stay in touch and see them every year or two. Closest live 500 miles away, many over 1,000 so it takes some work. Plan to see a nephew in Alaska this summer, and a gathering of others in Florida. I always send Christmas presents.

I am not sure they'd make the effort if I didn't but that doesn't much matter. Family is important.
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If you take the Alaska Highway, let me know and we'll go for a meal or coffee. Same goes for everyone!
 
Alligatorob said:
Thanks for the offer, this time I am flying, but one day I hope to take my little travel trailer and do the drive. And I would like to meet you, for a meal or something. You seem an interesting lady. Are you close to the Alcan highway?
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Yes, the highway is within walking distance (even for me!).

Another time maybe. That would be nice.
 
Catballou said:
So, my question is: Do any of you have nieces and nephews who you never see or speak to? And if so, does it bother you?
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@Catballou , I have to say that very many of the posts I read from you are so parallel to my own life that it's starting to spook me... age, hubby's ages and backgrounds, etc. (Okay, not really spooked, but my goodness!) Anyhow, I have nieces and nephews I watched grow up... right like you said... all the family gatherings, picnics, holidays, etc. And we were close. Now it's a connection to most of them on Facebook, but no conversations... no Merry Christmas, no Happy Birthday... and I have decided that if they're not going to bother with a "hey, Auntie, how ya doing?" a time or two a year, I'm not going to be the "pesky old aunt bothering them" either. Hard to explain, but it's my feelings. There was nothing that caused it... it just happened that way.

Does it bother me? Well... truthfully, no. Something tells me that if I'd make a big effort to connect often, I'd end up as babysitter for my great- nieces and great-nephews. Sounds bad, eh? But I've seen it happen to others. The only thing that bothers me a little about the disconnect is that I don't get to know those great-nieces and nephews. I have 12 of those now (that I'm even aware of.)
 
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Christmas cards to all of them and a little Facebook contact with one niece. My wife keeps in frequent phone contact with her brothers (who have no kids). None are any closer than 3-5 hours away. Otherwise, I guess we focus more on all the family nearby like my wife's parents, all our kids and their kids. That and church activities keep us busy enough.
 
Uptosnuff said:
I have 15 nieces and nephews on my side of the family and more than that on my husband's. When I was growing up I was very close to my nieces and nephews. Probably because I'm not that much older than they were. I was born late in my parents marriage.

I noticed us drifting when my parents died. I rarely ever talk to any of my nieces or nephews any more or for that matter hardly any of my brothers or sister. You would think with such a large family there would be a lot of closeness but no. Everyone has gone their own way.
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Same with me! I am only 10 years older than my eldest niece. I was more like a big sister to her when she was growing up. Sadly, six years ago she disowned my brother and me over a really stupid misunderstanding. But that's a whole story in itself.

I have a brother and a sister. I am extremely close to my sister and her son. I'm in touch with my brother and sister-in-law often. It's their son whom I never hear from or see. So I guess I should consider myself lucky for the relationships I do have! :)
 
CallMeKate said:
@Catballou , I have to say that very many of the posts I read from you are so parallel to my own life that it's starting to spook me... age, hubby's ages and backgrounds, etc. (Okay, not really spooked, but my goodness!) Anyhow, I have nieces and nephews I watched grow up... right like you said... all the family gatherings, picnics, holidays, etc. And we were close. Now it's a connection to most of them on Facebook, but no conversations... no Merry Christmas, no Happy Birthday... and I have decided that if they're not going to bother with a "hey, Auntie, how ya doing?" a time or two a year, I'm not going to be the "pesky old aunt bothering them" either. Hard to explain, but it's my feelings. There was nothing that caused it... it just happened that way.

Does it bother me? Well... truthfully, no. Something tells me that if I'd make a big effort to connect often, I'd end up as babysitter for my great- nieces and great-nephews. Sounds bad, eh? But I've seen it happen to others. The only thing that bothers me a little about the disconnect is that I don't get to know those great-nieces and nephews. I have 12 of those now (that I'm even aware of.)
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Yes, it appears that we are kindred spirits, Kate! So nice to "meet" someone whose experience and feelings are so similar.

In our family, I am the keeper of our family archives. I have photos and original documents going back to the mid-1800s, when my grandparents immigrated from Hungary. I've also been working on our family tree on Ancestry. com. Hubby and I never had children, so the only ones who I can pass our family history on to are my nieces and nephews. My biggest fear is that none of them will be interested enough keep our story alive for generations to come. I think it's important for all of us to know and appreciate our roots. I hope one of the young folks will take an interest when they're older. I have only one nephew that can carry on the family name if has children. It would be such a shame if he's not able to keep our history going. But, I have no relationship with him and of course there's no guarantee that he'll ever have kids, so I probably shouldn't get my hopes up.
 
Catballou said:
Yes, it appears that we are kindred spirits, Kate! So nice to "meet" someone whose experience and feelings are so similar.

In our family, I am the keeper of our family archives. I have photos and original documents going back to the mid-1800s, when my grandparents immigrated from Hungary. I've also been working on our family tree on Ancestry. com. Hubby and I never had children, so the only ones who I can pass our family history on to are my nieces and nephews. My biggest fear is that none of them will be interested enough keep our story alive for generations to come. I think it's important for all of us to know and appreciate our roots. I hope one of the young folks will take an interest when they're older. I have only one nephew that can carry on the family name if has children. It would be such a shame if he's not able to keep our history going. But, I have no relationship with him and of course there's no guarantee that he'll ever have kids, so I probably shouldn't get my hopes up.
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No argument there... I am very much into genealogy but not as much as I was 10-15 years ago. I have boxfuls of documents, etc. but when the information available online started getting full of errors, I slowed down. My own roots are primarily German with some England, Ireland, and Scotland in there... and my 3rd great grandmother gave me my Native American heritage.

Re: your nephew... I can tell you what I did about 15 years ago even though I feared they weren't very interested, I made nice family history "books" up (in binders) for all of my siblings and wrapped them up as one of their Christmas presents. They seemed to appreciate it. I figured that way they'd have the books if they or their kids would ever pick up the interest. Maybe if you had a "book" like that, you could ask your nephew if he'd like a copy? At least he'd have it whether or not the interest ever starts for him.

I do have a daughter who's even more into it than I was, and she's constantly trying to find new information but it's getting more difficult. @Catballou
 
Catballou said:
So, my question is: Do any of you have nieces and nephews who you never see or speak to? And if so, does it bother you?
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Got one that 'reaches out'
He's a foster child
Rough, very rough life
Done quite a bit of time
We seem to connect

The others?
They must be pretty busy
OK by me

I've got 20 some grands and great grands that suck up most my free time
 
I've got just one nephew that I knew. Discovered recently that my older sibling had a child out of wedlock (as it was called back then🙃) circa 1964. It was a girl and was living with the father. At the time I was too young to know but found out later that she'd been through an abortion which wasn't true.

I was made Godmother of my nephew for the purpose of being the babysitter whenever required. I sent him money every year until he turned 18. We lost touch after they moved away for brother-in-law's work. He never got the money, sibling stole it and bought booze with it. Yes, they're both alcoholics. Sad!

Found him again after someone from my genealogy group got in touch. She send me an obituary and realise it was my brother-in-law. I contacted nephew through email on-site and he spoke a bit. Then out of the blue, he told me to get lost.

I'd found out the same way that nephew had married and go in touch with my niece-in-law through her Instagram. She's lovely and they've had 3 children, twin boys, then another boy later. He said at the time that he was really happy but... Somehow, he filled for divorce.

My niece-in-law told me that she loves me and wants me to keep in touch. She never met her mother-in-law, due to her record and alcoholism, there were legal papers filled by nephew. We keep in touch to this day and planning to meet sometime this year.

I know I'll never see my nephew again, even though I'm the one who found out what was wrong with him as a baby and got a lifesaving operation to fix his problems. That's gratitude for you.

I've a much better connection with my cousin's actually as well as aunts and uncles LOL!
 
CallMeKate said:
No argument there... I am very much into genealogy but not as much as I was 10-15 years ago. I have boxfuls of documents, etc. but when the information available online started getting full of errors, I slowed down. My own roots are primarily German with some England, Ireland, and Scotland in there... and my 3rd great grandmother gave me my Native American heritage.

Re: your nephew... I can tell you what I did about 15 years ago even though I feared they weren't very interested, I made nice family history "books" up (in binders) for all of my siblings and wrapped them up as one of their Christmas presents. They seemed to appreciate it. I figured that way they'd have the books if they or their kids would ever pick up the interest. Maybe if you had a "book" like that, you could ask your nephew if he'd like a copy? At least he'd have it whether or not the interest ever starts for him.

I do have a daughter who's even more into it than I was, and she's constantly trying to find new information but it's getting more difficult. @Catballou
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If you can believe this, here's yet another thing we have in common: One year for Mother's Day, I gave my mom a journal so she could write down her memories, thoughts and feelings. She was in her 80s at the time and she wrote in it periodically for a couple of years, relating her experiences growing up in the 1920s and '30s, talking about her parents and siblings, meeting my dad, who was the love her life, how she coped when dad died at only 62 years of age, leaving her a widow at only 61, the many trips she took with friends afterwards, and her love for her children and grandchildren. After she passed in 2016 at 92 years of age, I transcribed her entire journal and created a book, including photos. It took me hours of work, but it was a labour of love that I thoroughly enjoyed. I had copies made at Staples for my siblings and my nieces and nephews and all of their children. I mailed the copies to them before Christmas. Most of them contacted me to thank me, except for the niece who disowned my brother and I, and the one nephew I've mentioned. It was so disappointing to get no acknowledgement or thanks from him or his wife. To be honest, whenever they post photos of their kids on Facebook, I don't bother commenting anymore. I get passive-aggressive when people don't want to bother with me. LOL
 
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It never occurred to me to think of their ages, but I just realised my oldest nephew is 53 OMG!!! :eek:.. and his sister is 50 this year... wow!!

Next oldest are in their 40's (4 of them 2 girls 2 boys ).. .. then the youngest is in his late 30's... all of them Bar one have their own children
 
hollydolly said:
It never occurred to me to think of their ages, but I just realised my oldest nephew is 53 OMG!!! :eek:.. and his sister is 50 this year... wow!!

Next oldest are in their 40's (4 of them 2 girls 2 boys ).. .. then the youngest is in his late 30's... all of them Bar one have their own children
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Whoa, you made reach for calculator to check. Thanks 😀 Ooh! He's already 45 in 2022 and their kids my grandnephews would be about teenagers and the youngest about 11. Thanks for pointing the ages. Cheers!
 
On my side of the family, I have 3 nephews and 3 nieces. Then I have 1 great-niece and 2 great-grandsons and 3 Great Great granddaughters and I am very close to all of them. My Hubby came from a large family. He has 11 nephews and 7 nieces. He also has 7 great-grandsons and 6 great-grandsons and 6 great-granddaughters. He also has 5 great great and sons and 5 great great granddaughters, We are close to all of them. They gave us the name of the Relatives to go to. I love each and every one of them.
 
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