Euphemisms for "Stupid"

S

SifuPhil

R.I.P. With Us In Spirit Only
Location
Pennsylvania, USA
Sometimes the need arises to express your opinion of a person's low intelligence, but you don't want to just rudely say it straight out. Here are a few creative euphemisms for the word "stupid" that might come in handy.


  • His elevator doesn't go to the top floor
  • All foam, no beer.
  • His bread ain't done
  • His yeast went bad.
  • He couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions printed on the heel.
  • The cheese slid off his cracker.
  • He's one taco short of a combination plate
  • He's one brick shy of a load
  • He's one pickle short of a barrel
  • He's one sandwich short of a picnic
  • He's one step short of a flight (of stairs)
  • He's one fry short of a Happy Meal
  • The light is on, but nobody is home.
  • There's nothing in the attic but cobwebs.
  • He's not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
  • He's not the brightest crayon in the box.
  • The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
  • Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
  • The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but there is no train.
  • He's dumber than a box of rocks.
  • He's dumber than a bag of hammers.
  • He couldn't think his way out of a paper bag.
  • He's a walking advertisement/poster boy for birth control/planned parenthood.
  • If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
  • Somewhere a village is missing its idiot
  • He donated his brain to science. Science sent it back.
  • He fell out of the Stupid Tree and hit every branch on his way down.
  • The starting gate is open, but he's still asking directions.
  • A few cans short of a six-pack.
  • His pilot light isn't lit.
  • He's as useful as tits on a wart/boar hog.
  • If brains were dynamite, he couldn't blow his nose.
  • It takes him an hour to cook Minute Rice.
 

Roos are loose in the top paddock
Thick as two short planks
Thick as a brick
Drongo impressionist
Smart as a roo in traffic
Failed kindy


A few Galahs on the wires
It went through to the keeper
(for those who miss the joke or point of a message)
 

stupidity_4_dummies.gif
 
So dense, light bends around him.
Doesn’t have all the dots on his dice
Doesn’t have both oars in the water
Got a leak in his think-tank
His belt doesn’t go through all the loops
His mind is like a rubber bear trap
He would be out of his depth in a mud puddle
As smart as bait
A few clowns short of a circus
A few peas short of a casserole
Has never opened his mouth without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge
What's on your mind? If you'll forgive the overstatement
If he ever had a bright idea it would be beginner's luck
I have neither the crayons nor the time to explain this to you
Well, my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle
He sounds like he is unencumbered by the thought process
If I ate a bowl of alphabet soup, I could $hit out a sentence smarter than any of yours
 
From Loretta Lynn in "Coal Miner's Daughter,"
"No more sense 'nere a rabbit."

We're struck by the wisdom of this one every year when the rabbits chose our backyard to have their babies in.
The only yard for miles that is fenced in and contains a dachshund.
 
NorthernLight said:
Here's one I heard in West Virginia:

He's just happy to be here.
Click to expand...
This one really cracks me up I told it to my husband on our way to run errands and we found so many chances to use it.

The best was when he was trying to drop me off close to our restaurant but a car was blocking the ramp. After I got out and walked to the ramp I could see the guy was parked directly in front of the Mystic Head Shop. No wonder he didn't move for us, he was just happy to be there!
 

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