Makes me crazy (wife eating unhealthy)

NorthernLight said:
@Murrmurr Funny, I don't remember that part. Just the scene where Meg Ryan does something incredibly stupid. And the gatherings on the beach.
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It was the part where Ryan takes Cage to her patient's house where his family is celebrating his recovery from yet another heart attack and the bypass with a backyard picnic. He was played by a well known character actor, a portly, balding fellow with a round head. I forget his name. Lots of kids were running around, too....the character's grandkids.

DENNIS FRANZ! He was in NYPD Blue for a long time. (I looked it up)
 

Magna-Carta said:
Interesting: This seems like a universal saying. I hear it a lot here in the UK. But only within in male circles, where there are no women around.
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We don't say it around women for 2 reasons: we don't want wives to know it's not all that easy to make sure they're happy, and we know they won't be happy if they hear us complaining about it.

And that's a complaint disguised as a simple statement of fact, but we also know wives are not stupid. (mostly)
 
I was enjoying my bag of Kettle white cheddar chips until I found this post, it was my first chip in well over a year! ;)
My husband has diabetes and stashes cookies and candy in his computer room all the time. So last week his podiatrist was telling us about amputating a man's leg because of an infection and how that would change his and his wife's life forever. I'm sorry for the other patient but so glad the doctor shared that with us because it seems to struck a nerve....finally! Maybe when the right person says the right thing at the right time your wife will listen and hear.
I suspect she just may have given up but I don't know her or what it would be like to walk in her shoes. I will have to be my husband's caretaker somewhere in the future, my biggest fear about that is that I won't have the strength you have demonstrated. You did set the bar high so I might come begging for advice someday. In the mean time, there is a lot of good advice from good people here so wishing you only the best.
 

I have an almost insatiable "Sweet Tooth "- which I control by ordering my groceries and avoiding the temptation of seeing them on the shelves.and refusing to have them in the house - most of the time. I allow myself to indulge about once a month and then it's no more until the next month. I really don't like being overweight.
 
I understand that this presents a conundrum for you Nathan. Hopefully, she will not decide to go shopping with you all the time. All you can do is the best you can do. 🤗 I get your wife though. Sweet teeth are like drugs. Sometimes I look at my cart and say, nobody would believe I'm diabetic. But I've managed to keep my A1C's at decent levels.
 
hollydolly said:
Awww, I bet she's thinking ''what the heck, why don't I just enjoy myself given everything life has thorwn at me ''.. or as has been said previously perhaps she's suffering from depression, goodness knows she's been through the mill enough... . I can totally understand your side of it too Nathan, you've been through that awful time with her when she was so sick, , and of course you want her to be as healthy as she can be so that you both can live a long life what's left of it.. because she's your wife.. .. it's a difficult one , have you talked it out with her , tell her your concerns ?
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My wife has a remarkable outlook on life, and for the most part she has been upbeat and positive, even during the rough times. I have told her my concerns about her health, and gently present healthy eating information.
She says she wants to chase me around the bedroom when she's 90, I'm all for that and want to give her every opportunity to do just that.
 
Alligatorob said:
And as I recall you have also lost a lot of weight and become more active.

Do you know what drove your transformation? It would give you some insight, maybe.

I have also lost weight and gotten more active and healthy. Gone from too many drinks a day to about 2 a month. Can't say what triggered me, but I do know judgmental people and nagging were not it.

Best to luck to you and your wife!
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I had high blood pressure back when I was heavy, I knew that but wasn't taking my health seriously. Then one time I injured my right arm, the ligament for my tricep was torn, very painful. Went to Urgent Care at Kaiser, they took my BP, told me it was stroke level. As I sat in the exam room waiting for the doctor I was thinking about how both my dad and my favorite uncle(mom's side) had strokes that made them completely invalid, in all ways. I didn't want to end up like that, so that day I swore I would do something to improve my condition. So I quit my daily habit of drinking, and also excessive use of salt. Within months I lost 40 lb.s, pretty much stayed at that weight until I started going to the gym, to rebuild my body that had significantly atrophied, after a months long medical treatment, which trashed me. Once I got on a lean & protein food regimen and shunning carbs, the pounds just come rolling off. I actually overshot my weight loss goal, and struggled a bit to halt the loss, people were saying I looked skeletal. I've since gained back about 12 lb.s, but I'm right at midrange normal weight, for a man my height.

Alligatorob said:
I have also lost weight and gotten more active and healthy. Gone from too many drinks a day to about 2 a month.
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Glad to hear! Yeah, the alcohol will put the pounds on, or hinder weight loss for sure.
 
I have learned not to say a word about anyone else's eating habits. I just do my thing and let them do theirs. It is a touchy subject and anyone who eats with me knows the type of food I eat. I admit though it is easier since I left my marriage and live alone. It is frustrating when you watch people you love eating foods that you believe are bad for them. I believe like an alcoholic or drug addict carbs can be an addiction. They have to hit the bottom before they have that aha moment.
 
Making choices comes down to this at times. It's easier to open a bag of chips rather than peel an orange or cut up a cantaloupe.

I find that prepping a few items earlier in the day helps to ward off the bad munchies. It's there and just as handy to reach for.

Sliced fruit, grapes already washed, celery sticks stuffed with a little cream cheese, lots of options, and save a few chocolates for dessert.
 
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Nathan said:
She says she wants to chase me around the bedroom when she's 90, I'm all for that and want to give her every opportunity to do just that.
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The girl has beautiful incredible spunk and that's so great to hear. I think she'll be just fine with her positive attitude. I see someone mentioned small gradual changes in diet. I've done that... things like buying Schmidt's 647 bread... it tastes like real bread (I looked for something like it for years!) and I buy both the Italian and wheat. It's 40 kcal and 6 net carbs, so a lot better stats than "regular" bread. I buy light orange juice for half the calories and unsweetened vanilla almond milk for very low kcals and lots of calcium. It's a good feeling controlling the calories a little bit as well as our carbs but I want to step it up and this is a good reminder to do so.

Again, though... bottom line is that she'll have to make (and I'm thinking she will) the choice on her own. As for you, mister, I suggest you start preparing yourself to be chased around that bedroom when she's 90... eat those extra Wheaties! :giggle: @Nathan
 
Lee said:
Making choices comes down to this at times. It's easier to open a bag of chips rather than peel an orange or cut up a cantaloupe.
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For sure, that is part of the problem.

However I think it is a bit more than that, I believe we instinctively want high fat and sugar foods. This served our ancestors well where such foods were a real rarity, when we could find one we ate it, quickly.

I knew a guy who had been a food chemist for Frito-Lay, he said his main job was getting as much fat into their foods as possible without making them seen too greasy. Frito-Lay knew we would instinctively want the high fat content, but our conscious brains usually told us to avoid it. So the Frito and others found foods that sold best were one with lots of fat, but that fooled us into thinking it wasn't so bad... He said they even experimented with adding vegetable oil to Pepsi products, but they could never get the right formulation.
 
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Alligatorob said:
For sure, that is part of the problem.
However I think it is a bit more than that, I believe we instinctively want high fat and sugar foods.
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For sure, 100% agree. And I think it's fine to not want to "diet" with celery and yogurt with cardboard cereal. I would have never lost the weight I did five years ago if I would have had to stick to an old-school "diet" like that. I ate what I always ate but counted calories very closely.

It wasn't easy, but it worked because I reminded myself that I'm not a "celery and toasted cardboard girl." And yogurt gags me. Literally... can't eat the stuff. Someone tried to give me a "diet breakfast" idea once. With the yogurt, dry toast, and no-flavor fiber cereal, they said "and it's only 230 calories!" I said "I had an egg, 40 calorie toast with I Can't Believe It's Not Butter spray, and 2 slices of pre-cooked bacon for 170 calories."

I know that other way may work for some, but I guarantee it wouldn't have worked for me. @Alligatorob
 
Nathan: My 2 cents: Your wife is going through a difficult time and she needs the comfort and solace from food. If it doesn't impact her health too much, I would let her indulge. Have you thought of a "date night" - going for a walk/drive/movie - an activity that you both enjoyed?
 
I've thought many times I can spend less on groceries with less junk. I don't like to cook. Yesterday I cooked some TVP (textured vegetable protein) and made a taco salad. I'm going to cook some vegetables and tofu this afternoon.

But of course I didn't leave WINCO Foods yesterday without a package of Redvines natural berry licorice.
 
Similar situation for me, but my wife is not terribly overweight. She tries all these different eating plans. Fasting for days. Fasting 20 hours. Low carb. Protein. But she usually goes back to her "cheese" diet. My wife loves her cheese! And if a cake is handy, she will eat it in short order. I do make her a very healthy salad each day and she usually has meat or eggs with that. And often some cheese. As soon as the weather improves, she will be out walking 3+ miles every day or two with her friend. I am more a creature of habit, sticking to the same diet and exercise routine week after week - my weight hardly varies year to year.
 
Michael Z said:
Similar situation for me, but my wife is not terribly overweight. She tries all these different eating plans. Fasting for days. Fasting 20 hours. Low carb. Protein. But she usually goes back to her "cheese" diet. My wife loves her cheese! And if a cake is handy, she will eat it in short order. I do make her a very healthy salad each day and she usually has meat or eggs with that. And often some cheese. As soon as the weather improves, she will be out walking 3+ miles every day or two with her friend. I am more a creature of habit, sticking to the same diet and exercise routine week after week - my weight hardly varies year to year.
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Aren't Wisconsinites known for their love of cheese? 😊
 
Nathan said:
She despises sugar free items except for Diet Coke, which she drinks constantly. If one of her quilting lady friends brings sugar free cookies to their meeting, my wife won't touch them, but will bring home to me...which I gobble down...like a hungry dog. :p
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I don't like sugar substitutes, either. I get why younger people do - they didn't grow up on home-made goodies made with natural sugar, so they don't even know how crappy their goodies are (since about 1960). Almost everything is sweetened with corn syrup. Even Twinkies taste like crap compared to *the original recipe*.

But anyway, imo it's the artificial ingredients that do the most damage to our bodies. And according to labels, most of the ingredients are artificial.
 
I don't like a lot of sugar subs either but I have to say the Swerve brown sugar is pretty tasty. I don't use a lot. One reason is the cost and the other is because you shouldn't overdue anything like that.
Lately, after dinner, Ive been making a mug of milk with carob powder, vanilla, and swerve. Mmm satisfies dessert.
I wasn't sure about carob powder but I like it. No caffeine before bed like cocoa.
 
Sounds like your stuck between a rock and a hard place. Damned if you do and damned if you don’t. I never figured out why some people like eating mounds of junk food. Was she raised in a family that had dessert after dinner every night? Does the like sitting down with a bowl of ice cream and a bag of chips? If she’s been eating this way most of her life, it’s unlikely she will change.

It’s probably best not to intervene, but maybe keep doing what your doing and not buying any junk food.
 
hearlady said:
I don't like a lot of sugar subs either but I have to say the Swerve brown sugar is pretty tasty. I don't use a lot. One reason is the cost and the other is because you shouldn't overdue anything like that.
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I use the Swerve brown, too... it works in everything I've tried. I'm slowly switching over to Lakanto classic white. It's monkfruit with erythritol, so not the chemical stuff like aspertame that I won't touch.
 
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