Loving young and loving older
- Thread starter halalu
- Start date
applecruncher
SF VIP
- Location
- Ohio USA
The psychological aspect is important, but so is that "spark".
Underock1
Senior Member
- Location
- Suburban NJ
I just had a revealing life experience. When my wife and I were first going together, the hormones were raging, no doubt about it. More importantly, before we were married our entire focus was on each other. Once we were married, all of the trivial things that make up daily living had to be dealt with. When she recently became ill, she was hospitalized, and we were separated from each other except for phone calls,and a visit every other day at the dialysis center. With the trivia removed and sharpened by the separation, we had two of the most loving, laughing, months of our entire marriage. The look in her eyes was the same one I saw when we first met. It was as if a veil had been lifted and " Hey! I remember you!" The every day things in life have to be dealt with, but nothing is more important than loving each other. We had a fantastic love life right up until I was eighty, but in the end, its the caring for each other that counts.
Underock1
Senior Member
- Location
- Suburban NJ
Thanks for the complement. Sorry about the tear. Had a few myself.
Me too.
Underock1
Senior Member
- Location
- Suburban NJ
Thank you for empathizing, Ameriscot. Didn't mean to bring everybody down.
Oh no, not really down. It was lovely!
Shalimar
SF VIP
- Location
- Vancouver Island Canada
Sometimes women cry when we are touched, not necessarily unhappy Underock. Your beautiful story did just that. Thank you for sharing, we like you.:love_heart:
Underock1
Senior Member
- Location
- Suburban NJ
Well thank you all. I do get that. I just pour it all out there as it hits me. I started on here to help myself get through the nights. It has really helped me quite a bit. Everyone on here has been very gracious. Men cry when they are touched too.
They just try not to do it in public.
Oh it's Beautifull you didn't upset anyone , it's just so nice to read a love story ( don't mean to sound rude or offensive and hope you don't find my comments rude but your love for one another sounds like the movie The Notebook which even my 20 year old grandaughter loved) I have watched the movie severel times ...you never really know what lies ahead for us all ...
Underock1
Senior Member
- Location
- Suburban NJ
Thank you Kadee. Sorry. I'm not familiar with the movie. I certainly find nothing rude in your comments. My mother dragged me with her to too many romantic movies when I was a kid. Sadly; reality is the enemy of romance. Eleanor and I had a great life though, and as gentle an ending as one can be hope for.
I tried to add a link to the information about the. Movie but it didn't work sorry
it was one of the most Beautifull romantic love stories I have ever seen
oakapple
Senior Member
- Location
- Oxford England
If getting older brings some wisdom, and we become nicer, happier people as a result, then that helps compensate for the raging hormones.Caring about your husband or wife is extremely important.
Underock1
Senior Member
- Location
- Suburban NJ
Absolutely, oakapple. We were lucky enough to have both well into old age. There is a shifting relationship between the two. In the earlier years the hormones feed into the caring. As you grow closer over the years, the accumulated caring boosts the effect of the hormones. In the later years, the caring gradually becomes all that matters. That can be very satisfying. Once all of the physical passion is removed, if all that each of you care about is the happiness of that person sitting next to you, then you know that you have had the real thing.
It's the most important thing in the world.
Underock1
Senior Member
- Location
- Suburban NJ
Just about the only important thing. Sad that so many go through life without it.
It's very sad for those who miss out or think/pretend they don't need it.
AZ Jim
R.I.P. With Us In Spirit Only
- Location
- SURPRISE, ARIZONA
I have been told that even when we lose our partner we have wonderful memories to keep us putting one foot in front of the other and getting on. I don't know yet but I don't want to find that out.
Underock1
Senior Member
- Location
- Suburban NJ
I'm living that right now, Jim. I'm happy to see you still have your partner. Make those last years happy ones. It sounds like an oxymoron, but we were "lucky" to have some of our most loving times together during Eleanor's final months in the hospital. We did a lot of laughing, reminiscing, and summing up our life together. We found it to be good. I treasure those months. Going on alone is hard. No doubt about it. Last one left, loses, but I'm glad I was able to be there for her at the end.
Memories are everything, but remembering hurts. Not remembering is worse; but as you say, "one foot in front of the other" and time does help.
I don't want to find out either, but 50/50 chance I will. Hoping for at least 20 more years.
Lara
Friend of the Arts
- Location
- Mid-Atlantic Coast
This is the sweetest thread. As long as you're passing the tissues around, please pass them my way. I was going to post a sweet song by country singer Alan Jackson called "Remember When" until I read your comment above about how remembering hurts. That can be true. I didn't want it to cause that. (((((((group hug)))))))