Is retirement causing me to lose my social "filter"?

Youngster

Youngster

Member
My social filter is growing thin. I find myself speaking up more against things I don't agree with even if it's not politically correct. I'm no longer shaking my head in agreement with things I don't believe just to get along with those who have a different point of view than I do.

I'm fast getting to the point where I don't give a shit if what I have to say doesn't set well with the people I happen to be around at the time.

I'm wondering if this is because I'm now retired and don't feel like have to "tow the line" so to speak like I did at the job I held for so many years. Or is it just because I'm getting older and figure I can get away with it.

What are your feelings on this subject?
 
I speak my mind unless doing so is going to cause me more problems than it's worth. Sometimes it's better to keep my mouth shut or walk away than engage in an altercation that could escalate and blowup. Unless it's something important, it's not worth my time or energy to put up my dukes.
 
As I've gotten older I actually find myself speaking up LESS than I used to. Yes, LESS! I realize that being pissed off and speaking out against injustice, against actions of government, or politicians or people I dislike, does nothing whatsoever to fix the 'problem' but is actually injurious to my own health! Its like Russian roulette in slow motion. Rather, I practice ZEN Buddhism much more now than when I was younger. It works! I'm 81. While everyone else my age is dying of heart attack or stroke, I'm trying my best to live in a state of BLISS.
 
When I was younger I never shied away from expressing my opinions, or rarely.

Do less of it now unless I think the person I'm talking to will engage in a rational discussion and not argue. Don't waste my time otherwise. Wasted a lot of time arguing in my youth.

I have never agreed with someone just to make peace, but I guess I would deflect a discussion towards something I though we were more likely to agree on.
 
hollydolly said:
NO, I've always been someone who speaks her mind regardless of who I'm talking to... that's never changed . I'm not someone who has ever gone along with the crowd if I don't agree with something..
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When I don't agree with what appears to be the majority I usually just stay out of it. On here, there are some subjects that go against my grain, but most have a different take, so I just leave it well alone. No sense being argumentative, it won't get me anywhere. That's not to say that I don't defend myself when I have to. When a personal attack happens, they get both barrels.
 
Youngster said:
My social filter is growing thin. I find myself speaking up more against things I don't agree with even if it's not politically correct. I'm no longer shaking my head in agreement with things I don't believe just to get along with those who have a different point of view than I do.

I'm fast getting to the point where I don't give a shit if what I have to say doesn't set well with the people I happen to be around at the time.

I'm wondering if this is because I'm now retired and don't feel like have to "tow the line" so to speak like I did at the job I held for so many years. Or is it just because I'm getting older and figure I can get away with it.

What are your feelings on this subject?
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The older I get the less I care what people think. I also think retirement did have something to do with it.
 
sch404 said:
As I've gotten older I actually find myself speaking up LESS than I used to. Yes, LESS! I realize that being pissed off and speaking out against injustice, against actions of government, or politicians or people I dislike, does nothing whatsoever to fix the 'problem' but is actually injurious to my own health! Its like Russian roulette in slow motion.
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Well now I won't have to post my answer because you did it for me, @sch404 ! This is exactly what I was going to say... I speak my mind less now, especially in certain environments because I finally accepted that no one's going to change their mind, and no one is going to make me change mine so it all becomes useless. I know nothing about ZEN, but I do know that many things simply aren't worth offering my two cents. (But in my mind.... now THERE is where I have some solid arguments that if people wouldn't be so dang stubborn to listen might actually do some good! But alas, those perfect arguments/comebacks usually don't see the light of day.) 🤷‍♀️
 
I've been argumentative, most of my life, but I'm trying to be more like @sch404 these days and remind myself that I'm not going to change any minds.

To answer the OP, I noticed my gating system going down while I was still working, so I can't blame retirement.

I keep wanting to teach people things! Yesterday a man came to my door trying to sell me an internet system, he was aggressive and rude about it and I didn't need to change anyway, so I just said, no thanks, but after he left I kept wishing I had told him what a terrible salesman he was and given him tips on how to improve.
 
horseless carriage said:
On here, there are some subjects that go against my grain, but most have a different take, so I just leave it well alone. No sense being argumentative, it won't get me anywhere.
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⬆️⬆️⬆️ Yep! You would not believe how often I need to "sit on my hands" so they don't take on a mind of their own and start typing something I'd regret later (or *should* regret even if I don't.) 🤭
 
CallMeKate said:
⬆️⬆️⬆️ Yep! You would not believe how often I need to "sit on my hands" so they don't take on a mind of their own and start typing something I'd regret later (or *should* regret even if I don't.) 🤭
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I have been here for a very long time. I have seen every type of human being come through this forum, some are absolutely vile.. some are obvious Walter mitty characters , telling lie after lie on here.. some are aggressive and constantly spoiling for a fight ... those are the types I have learned to just have on ignore, because I can't keep my mouth shut..

conversely with other people, of whom I just don't agree, but have no reason to dislike I do sit on my hands so as not to create any kind of unnecessary angst, because at the end of the day everyone is entitled to their opinion as long as it's not offensive. Just a shame other people don't think that way...
 
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DebraMae said:
View attachment 277556

Yes, I have become more honest and outspoken since I have aged. I don't think I am rude but those who disagree with me may see it that way. That's their choice. Some are easily offended and do not appreciate view points that are different from their own.
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I'm not rude to people either.. but I am honest and people don't like that.. I have had people report me to Admin because they accuse me of things I haven't said.. or that my honesty hurts their little feelings.. diddums... yet it's not what I say it's how they choose to read it.. how they choose to take offence.. Fortunately we have an Admin who is no fool, and can see exactly what's going on...
 
hollydolly said:
I have had people report me to Admin because they accuse me of things I haven't said.. or that my honesty hurts their little feelings..
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🙀 Oh my! I haven't had anyone tattle on me since elementary school. Forgive me that I giggled a little bit (thinking of tattlers being here at some point)... it's a senior forum for cryin' in a bucket. But I'm sorry that happened to you, @hollydolly .
 
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I enjoy a good debate. What I don't like is people who seem to believe that the idea of a debate is to insult the other person. That's when the ignore function comes in handy. I have no tolerance or time for a-holes.

For me, the essence of a debate is to exchange ideas. For others, the purpose of a debate is to win, no matter what, even if you have to lie and insult the other person. If that's what you want, just to out-belligerent the other person, that's fine. Just leave me out of it.

In my younger days, I would engage with people like that just to see if I could destroy them, and I sometimes did. I guess I thought it would build my confidence and self-esteem, but I've found that personal integrity is more important than fighting for healthy self-esteem.

So I guess my "social filter" has increased as I've gotten older. I just refrain from interacting with some people now. They're not worth my time.
 
hollydolly said:
I'm not rude to people either.. but I am honest and people don't like that..
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I always appreciate honesty, and Holly honestly you did take a bit of getting used to. I found it worthwhile!
SeniorBen said:
I enjoy a good debate. What I don't like is people who seem to believe that the idea of a debate is to insult the other person.
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I agree completely!
 
Youngster said:
My social filter is growing thin. I find myself speaking up more against things I don't agree with even if it's not politically correct. I'm no longer shaking my head in agreement with things I don't believe just to get along with those who have a different point of view than I do.

I'm fast getting to the point where I don't give a shit if what I have to say doesn't set well with the people I happen to be around at the time.

I'm wondering if this is because I'm now retired and don't feel like have to "tow the line" so to speak like I did at the job I held for so many years. Or is it just because I'm getting older and figure I can get away with it.

What are your feelings on this subject?
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As I've mentioned in another thread today; I tend to piss people off at times and, on thinking about it, I don't remember a time when I didn't do that.

Having said that though, I really do try not to.
 
hollydolly said:
I'm not rude to people either.. but I am honest and people don't like that.. I have had people report me to Admin because they accuse me of things I haven't said.. or that my honesty hurts their little feelings.. diddums... yet it's not what I say it's how they choose to read it.. how they choose to take offence.. Fortunately we have an Admin who is no fool, and can see exactly what's going on...
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Well, that sucks. :/
 
After 20+ years of retirement, I only interact with the family and a few of the neighbors. Virtually all of my old work friends have passed on, and I just communicate with a couple who are left via e-mail, or an occasional phone call. We keep the conversations light, and rarely discuss any of the baloney that is on the daily news. Living in the boondocks, we have little interaction with the general population, and that is probably a good thing.
 
Youngster said:
My social filter is growing thin. I find myself speaking up more against things I don't agree with even if it's not politically correct. I'm no longer shaking my head in agreement with things I don't believe just to get along with those who have a different point of view than I do.

I'm fast getting to the point where I don't give a shit if what I have to say doesn't set well with the people I happen to be around at the time.

I'm wondering if this is because I'm now retired and don't feel like have to "tow the line" so to speak like I did at the job I held for so many years. Or is it just because I'm getting older and figure I can get away with it.

What are your feelings on this subject?
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I think DebraMae's post #4 the T shirt looks like the reality of what you are posting. I don't think I've ever not confronted what I believe to be contrary to common sense.
 
Youngster said:
My social filter is growing thin. I find myself speaking up more against things I don't agree with even if it's not politically correct. I'm no longer shaking my head in agreement with things I don't believe just to get along with those who have a different point of view than I do.

I'm fast getting to the point where I don't give a shit if what I have to say doesn't set well with the people I happen to be around at the time.

I'm wondering if this is because I'm now retired and don't feel like have to "tow the line" so to speak like I did at the job I held for so many years. Or is it just because I'm getting older and figure I can get away with it.

What are your feelings on this subject?
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yes. Feeling the same way. Maybe everyone feels the same way. Maybe that's why we are all at each other's throats!
 
it may be just age-onset, but my tolerance threshold has been shot to shit. and, I was never one to suffer fools gladly. I avoid confrontations, but will say what I think. don't like it? oh well, I guess I'll just to continue to respire... :cool:
 
CallMeKate said:
🙀 Oh my! I haven't had anyone tattle on me since elementary school. Forgive me that I giggled a little bit (thinking of tattlers being here at some point)... it's a senior forum for cryin' in a bucket. But I'm sorry that happened to you, @hollydolly .
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oh believe it, you wouldn't credit as to how many grown adults..not to mention SENIOR adults there are who go running to teach over the slightest perceived insult..
 
Medusa said:
As I've mentioned in another thread today; I tend to piss people off at times and, on thinking about it, I don't remember a time when I didn't do that.

Having said that though, I really do try not to.
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never noticed you doing that.. but then having said that.. I'm a big girl I don't take offence easily.. and if someone is deliberately offensive to me, I put them on ignore in a nano second.. and I never have to deal with their chit again..:ROFLMAO:
 
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