Grandparents Are Spoiling Grandchildren

packleader

packleader

Member
Location
Southern California
Bringing them to learn baseball, 2 little chickens to learn to be gentle, a goldfish experience, roughing around with grandpa's dogs, and a touch-screen laptop with a paint program. What else can grandparents do? OK, grandma re-lives her younger days by playing endlessly with her grandschild, but going camping is better left to the parents. Last not least, grandpa opened a 529 College Savings Plan for the grandchild.

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I was there for my granddaughter at the drop of a hat. Her mother was always ringing me to look after her because she had appointments to keep???? She was a little cutie and would cry when her mother came to pick her up. I took her to dancing lessons, swimming lessons and played with her at the park. We had the best of times together. Taught her to sing nursery rhymes and popular songs, she loved singing Hello Dolly, and I Love You a Bushell and a Peck, we still sing them now and she is 26 years old. She always tells me I am her favourite Nana., and I always say "You are my favourite granddaughter, "to which we have a laugh as she is the only one. I have a grandson who is 19 but lives in a different State although I did look after him on occasions when I went to visit. I taught him to sing that John Lennon favourite - Beautiful Boy. He used to go to sleep with me singing it every night. (Now I'm getting all misty remembering those lovely days) Why do they have to grow up?
 
Grandparents are so important in the development of a child in my opinion.

Their guidance, patience, humility, kindness...etc...create loved and well-brought-up individuals. The bonus for the children is that they catch them in their slower-paced senior years. That past maniac in the rat race has mellowed into a thoughtful, caring almost extra parent in the child's life.

Kids also learn the value of hard work and fun play. My own grandparents were awesome. I delivered their eulogies when they passed away.
 
The other side of this topic..........Grand Parents who are raising their Grand Children, because the kid's Mother is a mess, with addictions and mental health problems. The Grand Parents did such a poor job with their own child, now they are working on the second generation. How many times do you see that happening ? A lot. JimB.
 
I could never understand why people use their parents as free babysitters. I know if I were a grandparent, I wouldn't like my kids to constantly dump their offspring on me to care and feed.

It's grandparents that are raising the next generation. When we used to have the senior's club here, many attendees arrived with a grandchild or two in tow. The little kids quickly become bored and start being rambunctious. Not a good thing around feeble and handicapped seniors.

My feeling may stem from my childhood where my grandparents were emotionally distant, especially my paternal ones.
 
There was an interesting discussion I read once on "weaponized grandchildren".....grandchildren who are used as pawns by parents against the grandparents. For example, "If you don't lend us some money, you won't be seeing your grandchildren again", "If you don't agree to babysit five days a week, then forget about seeing them at all", etc.

I have seen that in action.
 
I offered to look after my first grandchild. One of the best things I ever did. I looked after him 3 days a week from the age of 10 months until he began school then I met him from school and looked after him until mum or dad finished work. We used to love to go birdwatching at the nature reserve and had lots of trips out together. He is now almost 18 and we are still very close. He is doing an apprenticeship and he calls in to see me 2 or 3 times a week after work. I haven't been able to get out and about for a while - waiting on hip replacement surgery - but he's told me that as soon as I've had it done and am fit again to walk that we'll go for a day out together to the nature reserve once again.

I also have two granddaughters (sisters) who call round at least twice a week after school. When they were younger they called me the 'messy' nanny because I let them paint, make playdough and do lots of messy crafts. I go to their house for tea every weekend. All three are lovely kids and I love the relationship I have with them all.

Looking after all of them has brought me the greatest pleasure.

The swamp.... ;)

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Remy said:
They say grandparent's raising grandchildren has become an epidemic. It's really wrong.

I'd have loved to have grand parents who showed care toward me. Kids who have them don't know how lucky they are.
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I think you're right on that Remy. The grandkids take them for granted when they are there inter-reacting with them because they're young but when they are grown and the grand parents are gone, they will appreciate what their grandparents gave them and think of it often. It's a shame their grand parents will never see that.
 
jujube said:
There was an interesting discussion I read once on "weaponized grandchildren".....grandchildren who are used as pawns by parents against the grandparents. For example, "If you don't lend us some money, you won't be seeing your grandchildren again", "If you don't agree to babysit five days a week, then forget about seeing them at all", etc.

I have seen that in action.
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If you personally experienced that i am sorry for you and the grandkids.

However, that is not always the case. As with so many things there's plenty of bad behavior to go around in families There are subReddits full of stories of Grandparents, most often MILs who think they get to dictate how their grandchildren are raised. Some of them taking it to the point of feeding the grandchild foods they've been informed the child is allergic to.
 
Happy for you and your grands, Packleader.

i think one of the most disheartening things in our very mobile modern societies is children do not get as much exposures to extended family of all kinds as many of us had. i didn't have a lot in my first decade because my parents lived in different state than most of our relatives. But that made me really appreciate the time i had with them as a teen and young adult.

Spending time in various relatives households gave me a better appreciation of how each family gets to make its own 'house rules', and how marital relationships don't have to fit into some stereotypical mold to be healthy--there can be different paths to 'happy couplehood'.

My paternal grandmother an aunt on each side and an uncle by marriage on Maternal side were particularly good influences on me. Grandfathers both died before i could meet them. Cousins were a mixed bag some fun some not and i actually babysat some of the younger ones.
 
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