Grandparents Are Spoiling Grandchildren

jujube said:
There was an interesting discussion I read once on "weaponized grandchildren".....grandchildren who are used as pawns by parents against the grandparents. For example, "If you don't lend us some money, you won't be seeing your grandchildren again", "If you don't agree to babysit five days a week, then forget about seeing them at all", etc.

I have seen that in action.
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at least 2 of my siblings did this to my mom... her letting them walk on her was a strain to our relationship period.
grandparents are important to be there for children.... i live 5 hours away but have drove over to babysit for important events because my SIL parents who live 5 minutes away are being used by his siblings by the use the child as a pawn method and now they have no time for our shared grandkids ......breaks my SIL's heart.
 

MrPants said:
I think you're right on that Remy. The grandkids take them for granted when they are there inter-reacting with them because they're young but when they are grown and the grand parents are gone, they will appreciate what their grandparents gave them and think of it often. It's a shame their grand parents will never see that.
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This reminds me of my niece and nephew. My parents babysat them a lot when they were growing up, and it really left them with such fond memories that they both named their boys after my Dad.
One boy has his first name, and the other has his nick name.

It was very touching. ❤️
 
I couldn't tell you how many times I watched "Pee Wee's Big Adventure" with my youngest grand-daughter after school. I think we both knew the dialogue by heart.

In contrast, last Wednesday, now 22, she drove grampa (me) to the eye doc who's about 35 miles from our home. Our kids and grandkids have always been close and they are a blessing as we approach our 90's.

I suppose you could say you pay at one age and collect at another, but the love between you makes it work.
 

My wife watched over our two granddaughters for several years. We all lived within a few blocks of each other during that time, so the daughter would drop off the kids before going to work, and pick them back up after work. When they reached school age, they would go to school from our house. We had a bunch of good times with the little ones, and it saved the daughter/son-in-law a bunch of money on day care expenses. Plus, I'm sure my wife did a much better job of helping raise the kids than any day care facility would have done. As a result, we have a nice close knit family and can count on each other if needed.
 
Don M. said:
My wife watched over our two granddaughters for several years. We all lived within a few blocks of each other during that time, so the daughter would drop off the kids before going to work, and pick them back up after work. When they reached school age, they would go to school from our house. We had a bunch of good times with the little ones, and it saved the daughter/son-in-law a bunch of money on day care expenses. Plus, I'm sure my wife did a much better job of helping raise the kids than any day care facility would have done. As a result, we have a nice close knit family and can count on each other if needed.
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Much the same here, Don, and that's how close knit families are created.
 
debodun said:
My feeling may stem from my childhood where my grandparents were emotionally distant, especially my paternal ones.
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Same here; the one grandparent (paternal grandmother) who wasn't emotionally distant or dead was a bonafide religious nut and literally drove my dad crazy, leading to all kinds of problems for whoever he came in contact with.

And I grew up in an area that was 49 percent old money, 49 percent new money, and 2 percent very little or no money (the percent I fell in). So I was exposed to a lot of kids who had these wealthy grandparents who'd come to visit on the way to their vacation condos with the trunk of their fancy cars packed full of presents for the grandkids. My 3 grandparents were the kind who usually didn't remember birthdays or think they were important at all; we kids might get a birthday card (once in a blue moon with a quarter in it) but usually not.
 
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Remy said:
They say grandparent's raising grandchildren has become an epidemic. It's really wrong.

I'd have loved to have grand parents who showed care toward me. Kids who have them don't know how lucky they are.
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Same here, I can’t imagine having those loving kind of grandparents (or parents either for that matter!); just is like a fantasy to me.

I read an interesting article, a young man was complaining about having kids and what a pain and how expensive it was. When asked why he had them if he felt that way, he replied that both his mother and mother-in-law had been carrying on about wanting grandkids and promising to babysit so new mom and dad could both go back to work. But then when the baby was born, grandma renegs on the promise because grandpa doesn’t want those “darn” kids around (We already raised one family! No more kids!)

So that can lead to some less than ideal family situations.
 
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My maternal grandparents were very strict. My sister and I stayed with them on the school holidays, but only for a weekend. We forgot to take any toothpaste and my grandfather made us wash our teeth in Sunlight soap, (that bar soap to wash undies). We told our mother we never want to stay again. There was no affection there and we didn't feel wanted.

On the other hand, I had the best time with my granddaughter. She always wanted to stay with us, and I encouraged her to do all sorts of painting, swimming, and games, but her favourite times is when I took her to live theatre performances. She loved them. Grandson lived in
another state, but always was happy to see me. He is now 20 and has just got a part in a theatre company. I hope he does well. Theatre is in the family.
 
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oscash said:
My maternal grandparents were very strict. My sister and I stayed with them on the school holidays, but only for a weekend. We forgot to take any toothpaste and my grandfather made us wash our teeth in Sunlight soap, (that bar soap to wash undies). We told our mother we never want to stay again. There was no affection there and we didn't feel wanted.

On the other hand, I had the best time with my granddaughter. She always wanted to stay with us, and I encouraged her to do all sorts of painting, swimming, and games, but her favourite times is when I took her to live theatre performances. She loved them. Grandson lived in
another state, but always was happy to see me. He is now 20 and has just got a part in a theatre company. I hope he does well. Theatre is in the family.
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What? Your grandparents made you brush your teeth with sunlight soap? How horrible.
It’s great that you have a good relationship with your grand kids.
 
Teacher Terry said:
My grandparents on my mom’s side were wonderful! They played cards and games with me, we took walks and we would go to the movies. I would spend a whole weekend with them. They loved kids and I still miss them. My parents were wonderful grandparents for my kids. The experience is priceless.
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My gramma was the one I remember taking walks with. Along with her stories of her younger days and how it was back then.
I regret not seeing more of her. :cry:
 
I never got to know my grandparents. My moms parents died before we were born and my dads father died when we were really young. They lived in England, where we were all born and my grandmother didn’t even own a phone. I met her once when she came to visit us. My mom and her had a very hateful relationship which was a shame. I regret not knowing her better. Us kids sent her a recording of us singing ‘come together ‘ and she asked what kind of rubbage that was.😂
 
I ask this question,in regards to GREAT grandchildren- is it our responsibility or whatever to contribute to graduating, marriages, gender reveal etc for GGC? Most of mine are grown but a few just graduated and yes we are proud of them for many reasons,but we can not afford to send checks or help with this and that,even though their parents can not either.
Also, WE helped their parents along the way for years. Am I wrong to say - no can do?
 
RedAlert76 said:
I ask this question,in regards to GREAT grandchildren- is it our responsibility or whatever to contribute to graduating, marriages, gender reveal etc for GGC? Most of mine are grown but a few just graduated and yes we are proud of them for many reasons,but we can not afford to send checks or help with this and that,even though their parents can not either.
Also, WE helped their parents along the way for years. Am I wrong to say - no can do?
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I guess it can vary from family to family. I would assume in a responsible family, most would like to help. How much would depend on how much wealth you {or anyone) are swimming in.
 
I think either kid I would ask for help would pitch in. The amount is the confusing part. I could use $1000 from each of them. They both make 6 figures. I would never ask for that much, maybe $80 a month. That is when I am bed ridden. I have been thinking of starving to death. No food or water..two weeks.
 
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