Is sleeping in separate beds the beginning of the end?

I guess I'm not clear on what you mean by "The beginning of the end". Does that mean the end of your life, the end of your marriage, or the end of your happiness? Anyway, if the whole purpose is to get a good night's rest, then I don't think it means anything more than that, and don't psychologically pin other meanings to it. Getting good sleep is important. Some people get up frequently during the night, some toss and turn a lot, and some snore. Just give reassurance that it doesn't mean anything like you want to be away from your partner. It's just for health reasons, and no more.
 
bobcat48 said:
I guess I'm not clear on what you mean by "The beginning of the end". Does that mean the end of your life, the end of your marriage, or the end of your happiness? Anyway, if the whole purpose is to get a good night's rest, then I don't think it means anything more than that, and don't psychologically pin other meanings to it. Getting good sleep is important. Some people get up frequently during the night, some toss and turn a lot, and some snore. Just give reassurance that it doesn't mean anything like you want to be away from your partner. It's just for health reasons, and no more.
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Bingo! 😉

Separate beds are liberating

"Couples who sleep apart are healthier, have happier marriages and strong sex lives. So why cling to spooning?"

Separate beds are liberating | Retro humor, Vintage housewife, Retro ...

Excerpt below from the article:
https://www.salon.com/2012/08/14/separate_beds_are_liberating/

"The British Science Festival is a pretty big deal in the world of European scientists. An event held annually since 1831, except during times of war. One week in late September of 2009, thousands of researchers left their labs and set off for Guildford, the town about thirty miles outside of London where the festival was held that year, to present their latest findings and to gossip about faculty openings. It wasn’t the type of event — like, say, the Oscars, or the Cannes International Film Festival — that tabloid editors circle on their calendars because they expect something big to happen. Yet the minute Neil Stanley opened his mouth, the humble gathering of doctorates transformed into international news.

The kicker was the scientific suggestion that sharing a bed with someone you care about is great for sex, but not much else. Stanley, a well-regarded sleep researcher at the University of Surrey whose gray-thinning hair hinted at his more than two decades in the field, told his listeners that he didn’t sleep in the same bed as his wife and that they should probably think about getting their own beds, too, if they knew what was good for them. As proof, he pointed to research he conducted with a colleague which showed that someone who shared a bed was 50 percent more likely to be disturbed during the night than a person who slept alone. “Sleep is a selfish thing to do,” he said. “No one can share your sleep.”

There just wasn’t enough room, for one thing. “You have up to nine inches less per person in a double bed than a child has in a single bed,” Stanley said, grounding his argument in the can’t-argue-with-this logic of ratios. “Add to this another person who kicks, punches, snores and gets up to go to the loo and is it any wonder that we are not getting a good night’s sleep?” He wasn’t against sex, he assured his audience — only the most literal interpretation of sleeping together. “We all know what it’s like to have a cuddle and then say, ‘I’m going to sleep now,’ and go to the opposite side of the bed. So why not just toddle off down the landing?”

Stanley then turned to the effects of all of those poor nights of sleep, charting a sad lineup of outcomes ranging from divorce to depression to heart disease. But there was hope, he said. Because sleep is as important as diet and exercise, maximizing our rest meant that we would be fitter, smarter, healthier — the sort of people, in short, we would want to share a cuddle with. “Isn’t it much better when someone tiptoes across the corridor for a snuggle because they want to, rather than snoring, farting and kicking all through the night?” Stanley wondered."

If you're interested, read the rest of the article. 💤🛌:sleep:🛌💤
 
OneEyedDiva said:
I've read and heard of people saying that sleeping in separate beds saved (is saving) their marriage. I know a couple who are very much in love and supportive of one another, but they sleep in separate rooms.
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Guilty as charged. We have always had separate rooms, did it dampen our love lives? The worn out carpet between our rooms is testimony that we have had fifty-five happy years of nuptials.
As bobcat points out, the thread title is ambiguous in that the beginning of the end is not clarified. If, as I surmise, it signifies the end of a relationship, I wouldn't give that any credence.
Our marriage without children had many a critic, I often teased a detractor that our choice of separate bedrooms made reproduction difficult.
 
We didn't need separate rooms, hubby snored, but he didn't snore loudly just enough to keep me from going to sleep. Ear plugs ladies are the answer. Nice foam ear plugs, I bought them, at an industrial store. Then he got his C-Pap machine, and the snoring stopped and I still have about 3/4 of a box of ear plugs. I used to put the used ear plugs in an old knee-hi nylon and after a while secure the top and toss them in the washer and dryer.
 
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When I was much younger, I spent Friday nights in a local social club.

I remember a couple there. The wife took great delight in telling everyone in the club, "Mike snores so loud that all the elephants in Africa trumpet out messages to him thinking that he is one of them."

He used to protest by saying, "You snore too", but he was clearly embarrased by this, so he recorded her snoring and brought one of those little cassette recorders to the club and played the recording. Her snoring was quite loud and Mike was talking to her as she snored, repeatedly asking her to pipe down.

They split up soon after. 😊
 
Hubby and I rotate where we sleep. In one bedroom we have our queen size bed ,that we have had since we married in 1966. In our other bedroom we have twin beds. We rotate between both rooms. I can not sleep in a room without my hubby. We sleep in the twin beds occasionally because hubby has nights when his legs jump around a lot. We never sleep in different rooms.
 
We have been married almost 53 years. Until this year we have always slept together, originally in a Queen size bed and for the last 20 years in a King. I injured my neck in high school. Over the last two years, when I lay down my neck gives me fits. They got bad enough this year that at times, I have to go out and sleep in a reclining chair. It does not happen every night so far, but I am sure in time I will not be able to sleep with my wife.
That will be sad for both of us...as we still have very close, in everyway.
 
I don't think it's the beginning of anything other than having a good night of sleep.

It wasn't until I had the flu quite a few years ago the discovery that sleeping in separate beds in separate rooms was beneficial.
No snoring, no disturbance getting up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, no pulling the covers. Maybe the biggest change was my wife likes a soft surface mattress I like mine to be like sleeping on a slab of wood.

A plus to all that is intimacy during the day instead of at night when we are both tired works. ;)
 

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