Remember when being "illegitimate" was a big shameful thing?

fuzzybuddy

fuzzybuddy

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Location
The Sticks, Northeast PA.
Remember when being "illegitimate" was a big shameful thing? People hid that from others. When I was born (1946), the first kid was known to be "early". Instead of the normal nine month gestation period, it took only 5, 6 or 7 months. 🤔 It's amazing that when a kid was born and if his parents had a marriage certificate could ruin a life.
 

fuzzybuddy said:
Remember when being "illegitimate" was a big shameful thing? People hid that from others. When I was born (1946), the first kid was known to be "early". Instead of the normal nine month gestation period, it took only 5, 6 or 7 months. 🤔 It's amazing that when a kid was born and if his parents had a marriage certificate could ruin a life.
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I do, and it applied an unfair burden of the child who had no say in things. Part of me knows that children flourish better in a two parent family, but another says the child gets no choice, so it's grossly unfair to label them. As such, today's view is better.
 
When I was six years old my mother took me on the Greyhound bus to my grandmother's house, way out in the country. My 20 year old cousin, Betty, was there staying with grandma, along with a brand new tiny pink baby. There was a lot of whispering going on. I was told I wasn't supposed to tell anyone about the baby because it was illegitimate. I thought that meant the same as illegal and so I spent most of the visit watching out the front in case the police came and tried to take the baby.

Many years later I found out that Betty's boyfriend had gone to jail for a year over something or other and couldn't marry Betty until he got out, which he did, and they had a long happy marriage with three more kids.

I happened to talk to Betty just a few years ago and told her about her baby being the first I had every seen. She went on to tell me how my mother had been very kind to her, but lots of the family, particularly the men, acted like she was the worst person in the whole world and were always ashamed of her.

She told me that just recently, her granddaughter had gotten pregnant without being married and everybody had treated her, "like a little princess." LOL She sounded jealous, but I don't blame her, times have changed to almost the other extreme.
 
Calling a child illegitimate was horrible. It's good that no one is called that anymore but simply removing the term has not helped the child all that much.

Today there are now hundreds of thousands of children growing up with only one parent and that lack is more harmful to them than a word.
 
fuzzybuddy said:
Remember when being "illegitimate" was a big shameful thing? People hid that from others. When I was born (1946), the first kid was known to be "early". Instead of the normal nine month gestation period, it took only 5, 6 or 7 months. 🤔 It's amazing that when a kid was born and if his parents had a marriage certificate could ruin a life.
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It's gone too far the other way now . There is nothing good having such mixed up confused families as many are these days.
 
feywon said:
So, where do i fit. My parents didn't marry till 1951 when i was 5. So did i become 'legit' then?????
Of course i didn't know this until i stumbled across their divorce papers when i was 12-13. Never felt ashamed, but it explained a lot about Maternal Grandmas attitude toward my parents.
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I was the same. Born before my parents got married while my father was awaiting the divorce from his first marriage... and they married when I was 3 months old

My birth certificate gives my mothers' maiden name.. as well as my fathers name.. but fortunately there's nothing labelling me as illegitimate on there.. that's astonishing.. I had no idea that was done in the past
 
I've often wondered why a person should be labeled as illegitimate, when it's not his fault. Biologically, it's not anyone's fault. We evolved to reproduce. People screw and have babies. It perpetuates our species, just as it does in all other species. The marriage requirement was just foo fah added to the process to suit some imagined need of mankind. I'm not against marriage.

I wholly support the idea of marriage, but lets not punish the new born because of our bigotry and holier than thou judgements of others. Evolution doesn't need to be stigmatized, and it cares not one bit about our opinions on how it should take place. A baby is just a baby. Calling it a bastard is someone just being an asshole.
 
It is due to inheritance, property, money and legal rughts.matters. It certainly did matter in past times and probably still does. Only solicitors can know the legal aspects nowadays.
Look at royal families over the centuries. Kings often had mistresses and numourous children, but only legitimate issue of marriage could be heirs to the throne normally.
We do have to have law and order.
Even now with all the living together without marriage makes the aftermath very difficult with death.
 
My wife was born "early", her mother was 15 or 16. Her mother was forced to give her up by the elder women in her family. She was put in an orphanage. Later, she was adopted, along with a boy from the same orphanage who became her 'brother'. Her parents eventually married, had 4 sons, my wife tracked down her birth family and reunited with them.
 
"Today there are now hundreds of thousands of children growing up with only one parent and that lack is more harmful to them than a word."

I actually would have done a lot better in a one parent home. That old idea of staying together for the children is harmful, in my opinion.
 
I know the feeling. My paternal grandmother was adopted after being found in a basket on my great-grandparents porch. My Papa told me the real story. The rest of my Father's brothers and sisters were always tight-lipped about the subject just as your subject dear @fuzzybuddy

Illegitimacy was frowned upon and on top of that, the fact that she was from two rival native Indian tribes...
 

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