How do you flirt with someone you may be interested in?

[palides2021]

Although I don't have personal experience with this topic (I'm not the flirting type, just charming and cheerful to everyone equally - haha), I have observed when it has happened to others. This was particularly important when I was writing my love stories and I had to describe these situations.

• Eye contact is strong. Very strong. (To the point where no one else seems to be in the room).
• Leaning forward toward the love interest (especially in a crowded room and you want to hear them better - or catch their perfume or cologne, lol).
• Asking questions to start a conversation. Not heavy duty conversation, just light and humorous.
• Smiling or laughing a lot (women especially).

 

[Avon]

What are your go to moves?
Also, how do you know someone's flirting with you?
Maybe they're just being friendly.

Ask if they want a date with history.

 

[Gary O']

I usually briefly touch an index finger tip to my tongue

For some crazy reason, everything is reminding me of my old posters

No exception here;

 

[Supernatural]

Back in the day, my husband-to-be cut me off the queue in the basement pub's stairs. I told him off, he apologised just as the door bouncer said, "I've room for two!" It was St Patrick's Day and the band was super good so it was busy.

He grabbed my hand, smiled from ear to ear and said: "two here!" So, we went in, he apologised again and asked what I wanted to drink. Told him, he came back with my half pint Guiness and a Bass for himself. The rest is history.

That was 1984. I get good conversations these days and I see the same ones, saying Hi and getting convo going again. If that's flirting, well it feels as the first time with husband, so who knows maybe something is around the corner maybe, but I'm in no hurry...

 

[Paco Dennis]

No, no, no, no, I don't do it no more.
I am tired of trying to score.

 

[OldFeller]

If you claim anyone ever fell for that one, not gonna believe ya, Jim!

I think you just fell for that one.

 

[Devi]

Aw, it's not that difficult. Lean in toward her, look her in the eye, keep making eye contact, and make it clear that you're interested in her. And take it from there.

 

[timoc]

Flirting........​

When I was about 17, a girl I knew flirted with me, how did I know, well, she offered to squeeze my blackheads.

 

[Meanderer]

 

[Lara]

Correct me if I'm wrong guys, but men usually don't like a woman too forward, too talkative (no gossip), too self sufficient (though that's changing a little...some still like to rescue a damsel in distress), too aggressive, too loud, too strong (but love an athletic woman which takes strength), too goofy, or trying to sell themselves by listing all their attributes in their first get together, and wearing clothes too skimpy. Men like mystery.

Here's the tricky part about men...they like tender loving sweet kind soft demure women who are, dare I say, a little wild and creative when alone.
They like intelligent women who make interesting conversation. A few side glances and a subtle smile across a crowded room or small cafe...will catch their eye.

 

[bobcat]

Correct me if I'm wrong guys, but men usually don't like a woman too forward, too talkative (no gossip), too self sufficient (though that's changing a little...some still like to rescue a damsel in distress), too aggressive, too loud, too strong (but love an athletic woman which takes strength), too goofy, or trying to sell themselves by listing all their attributes in their first get together, and wearing clothes too skimpy. Men like mystery.

Here's the tricky part about men...they like tender loving sweet kind soft demure women who are, dare I say, a little wild and creative when alone.
They like intelligent women who make interesting conversation. A few side glances and a subtle smile across a crowded room or small cafe...will catch their eye.

Well, to be fair, I think most of the things you listed are things women don't like in men either (Except the damsel in distress and the clothing thing)

I think women also like tender and loving aspects in a man. As for the demure part, I can't speak for others, but I wouldn't want a relationship with someone overly shy or withdrawn, or on the other end of the scale someone who is always demanding attention. Just somewhere comfortably in the middle. Again, the desirable traits of intelligent and interesting would probably apply to both sexes as well. So really, probably not much different in both cases.

As for the "wild and creative when alone" part, again I think moderation is desirable. If she likes whips and chains or being tied up or dressing like animals, then I think I would pass, but a little creative and expressive would be just fine.

 

[Jackie23]

If memory serves me correctly it's all in the eyes.

 

[Lara]

.... As for the demure part, I can't speak for others, but I wouldn't want a relationship with someone overly shy or withdrawn, or on the other end of the scale someone who is always demanding attention. Just somewhere comfortably in the middle.

I guess "demure" has different definitions. I didn't mean it as "overly shy or withdrawn". I hear you.
I was thinking of demure as a more classy definition like "reserved and respectable...ladylike".

 

[Jamala]

If memory serves me correctly it's all in the eyes.

Yep... it's all in the eyes. One look from him and I felt my knees buckle

 

[bobcat]

I guess "demure" has different definitions. I didn't mean it as "overly shy or withdrawn". I hear you.
I was thinking of demure as a more classy definition like "reserved and respectable...ladylike".

Ahhhh, got it. Yes, agree wholeheartedly. Women that come on too strong and assertive just turn me off for some reason. Maybe that says more about me that it does them, idk. I just feel that when you have healthy self-confidence, that isn't necessary.

 

[horseless carriage]

Somehow this thread reminds of this poster I put together in another life;

View attachment 299432

You can always tell if it's mildly flirting or deadly serious.

 

[Lawrence]

Now days if someone tries to flirt with me, I will think they are trying to scam me. Or maybe that is the way it always has been. Ha-ha-ha

 

[Mr. Ed]

Ronald E. Riggio Ph.D.
Cutting-Edge Leadership

FLIRTING​

The 9 Primary Signals of Flirtation​

Reading the nonverbal cues of seduction.​

Posted July 19, 2021 | Reviewed by Ekua Hagan

• https://facebook.com/dialog/share?a...rship/202107/the-9-primary-signals-flirtation

KEY POINTS​

• While the meaning of specific nonverbal cues can vary, at least 50 of them can be generally thought of as flirtatious.
• A woman's "head toss" can be interpreted as a message saying, "I'm arranging myself for you."
• A relaxed demeanor and low tone of voice makes men appear more masculine and confident.

Source: Sergey Nivens/Shutterstock
This post is co-authored by nonverbal communication expert Alan Crawley.
Last week, we focused on body language cues that turn people off. In this post, we will look at nonverbal cues of sexual attraction and seduction.
First, it is important to note that body language is not a true language. The meaning of specific nonverbal cues can vary with the situation, by culture, or by individual differences in style.

That being said, there are at least 50 nonverbal behaviors that can be labeled cues of flirtation that can turn others on. Here are a few of the more common ones.

Flirtatious Body Language in Women​

Coy Smile. This consists of two somewhat conflicting signals — a lowered head of “shyness” and a bold stare of confidence (Eibl-Eibesfeldt, 1971; Morris, 1977). The head is turned to the side and tilted down. There is a slight smile on the lips and eyes gazing forward to make eye contact. This sends a message of “I am vulnerable but open to you.”

Head Tossing. An upward or sideways jerk of the head as if one is throwing aside long hair. It signals a sort of “grooming behavior” that suggests “I am arranging myself for you.” The seductive appeal is threefold: The movement grabs the other’s attention; it displays tossed hair showing off this attractive feature, and the movement allows pheromones (“sexual scents”) to emanate from the hair.
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Self-Touching and Massaging the Skin. Another “inviting” body language cue that suggests a woman's availability is when softly rubs her own neck, thighs, or face. It suggests the desire to be touched and the unconscious message of: “See how smooth my skin is.”
Rotating the Wrists Outward. Exposing the inner part of the wrist is a signal of interest and invitation, directed toward the person which sends the unspoken message “I approve of you and you may approach.”

Flirtatious Body Language in Men​

Open and Relaxed Posture. Being relaxed and open (i.e., not crossing the arms in front of the body) sends a message of self-confidence and invitation. A study of speed dating found that males with open postures received more offers from women than did men with closed postures.

Space Maximization. Research shows that men who take up more space with their postures and gestures are perceived as more attractive. It suggests dominance and makes the man more visible.
Assertive and “Smooth” Demeanor. Men appearing “in control” with a minimum of anxiety cues is a turn-on. Movements, gestures, and posture shifts should flow smoothly — almost as if the man is moving underwater.

Signs of Flirting in Both Women and Men​

Tone of Voice. In general, a higher tone in women, and a lower tone in men is more of a turn-on. During courtship behavior, women may have a tone of voice that seems almost childlike — which can trigger a sense of “protectiveness” in men. Deeper voices, for men, signal more masculinity.

Positivity. Our own research on “seductive” nonverbal behavior suggests that people use different nonverbal cues to try to attract others, but one commonality is that the other person has to perceive those as “positive/pleasant” emotional messages. Both men and women who do not do well at appearing seductive tend to have their emotional messages judged as “negative/unpleasant.”
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Howling at the moon works for me, my wife keeps tabs on me.

I sometimes dream of getting back in the game due my ego as if I had something offer a lady? Perhaps men in general, would like to experience a time in life that we were invincible. My glory days were when people knew and respected me based on my behavior. Sure, behave myself now but not nearly to the extent of a small high school where everyone knew each other.
The strange thing about me is if were single again I consider myself marketable in my dream, reality, however, I'm just an old man with delusions of another life that is not my own.

 

[davey]

my very innocent wife was chatting to a guy on this website we had been welcomed on - she told me he's saying this and that and I don't understand?/ - I said he's a pommie and is flirting - she said "what is flirting and can you teach me it ?" - certainly not said I - I will explain it technically but not teach it - it is dangeous in unseasoned hands!!

 

[CallMeKate]

A woman's "head toss" can be interpreted as a message saying, "I'm arranging myself for you."

Howling at the moon works for me, my wife keeps tabs on me.

Smart lady, your wife. But that other issue re: head tossing. "I'm arranging myself for you"... sheesh, who knew... when I do it, it means that my hair feels out of place. I have long hair so I "toss" it sometimes. Never once was there any"arranging" going on. (but I find that thought comical for some reason... would the guy ever ask if she has an issue with tics/spasms, I wonder?)

 

[Georgiagranny]

Perish the thought. Last thing I need is one more thing to take care of.

My sentiment exactly.

 

[Mr. Ed]

Smart lady, your wife. But that other issue re: head tossing. "I'm arranging myself for you"... sheesh, who knew... when I do it, it means that my hair feels out of place. I have long hair so I "toss" it sometimes. Never once was there any"arranging" going on. (but I find that thought comical for some reason... would the guy ever ask if she has an issue with tics/spasms, I wonder?)

aaaaaooooo, aaaaooooo

 

[Gary O']

Self-Touching and Massaging the Skin. Another “inviting” body language cue that suggests a woman's availability is when softly rubs her own neck, thighs, or face. It suggests the desire to be touched and the unconscious message of: “See how smooth my skin is.”

So, it's not hives?

Rotating the Wrists Outward. Exposing the inner part of the wrist is a signal of interest and invitation, directed toward the person which sends the unspoken message “I approve of you and you may approach.”

Good to know
I always thought they were getting ready to slap me

 

[Pepper]

Flirting was such fun. It would be hilarious to do it again. He'd have to be cute. I'm starting to think some old men are. Help! Never thought that would happen!

 

[Tish]

Did you used to, though?

If my memory serves, women never needed to flirt. And men who thought they needed some sort of come-on, in reality, just needed more experience.

No, I don't think I did, I was very shy.