Do men and women have different ideas of what "romance" is?

fuzzybuddy said:
Do men and women have different ideas of what "romance" is?
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Maybe this will help focus the topic

What is difference between love and romance?
Love" vs. "Romance"
They both stem from enjoying the presence of someone. However, 'love' is a strong emotion and it creates a strong bond between the lover and the beloved. It involves commitment, selflessness, etc. whereas, 'romance' is more about showing your love through giving gifts, buying them flowers, cuddling, etc.

I know for sure that romance is possible in decades of marriage.
 

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I think most is culturally conditioned ... one only needs to look at the junk sold on valentines day lol

romantic gestures vary by person ....
i think women are more clued in on making a favorite dinner etc and small gestures ....
while like my spouse resorts to cliche things like flowers/ candy and dinner at some overpriced fancy restaurant .........none of which i find romantic but google told him so :ROFLMAO:
 
Can't speak for women, but I think it is simply sharing special moments together. It can be just sitting by the fire listening to music, or walking along a beach holding hands, or canoeing on a lake, or a picnic in the park, or just anything where you are totally in sync with your partner and sharing that moment together as though the rest of the world didn't even exist.
 
There's a definition of what romance is, but it's rather subjective. What's romantic may mean different things to different people. What's most important is that you and your partner are on the same page.

I can only speak for myself. Romantic gestures are lovely, but it takes more than giving me perfume, flowers, or candy. For me, romance involves having an emotional connection and entails much more than gift-giving. That's not to say that I don't enjoy gifts. But no amount of gifts is going to make me feel romantic if I don't actually have an emotional connection to the man giving them to me. When a man I'm emotionally involved with gives me a gift, it's romantic, it's special, and it means something. When there's no emotional involvement with a guy who gives me a gift, it's a nice gesture, but it's just a gift.

In order to be romantic with someone, you need to find out what it means to them. Having your needs met is romantic. If your man has had a hard day, maybe he'd like you to comfort him, fix him a drink, and listen to his troubles while you give him a back rub. Or occasionally surprise him with a special dinner of his favorite foods when he's not expecting it. Sometimes, just snuggle into his arms and tell him you appreciate all that he does for you.

Making me feel loved and cherished is romantic. Being respectful and attentive is romantic. Looking after me is romantic. Little things, like knowing I'm tired so he does the dishes, is romantic. Hugging me from behind and kissing my neck when I'm cooking in the kitchen is romantic. So, it's not just the big gestures that are romantic; it's little things like that.

Most of all, it's just being with him, spending time together, and enjoying each other's company. That's what really sends me.
 
Bella said:
There's a definition of what romance is, but it's rather subjective. What's romantic may mean different things to different people. What's most important is that you and your partner are on the same page.

I can only speak for myself. Romantic gestures are lovely, but it takes more than giving me perfume, flowers, or candy. For me, romance involves having an emotional connection and entails much more than gift-giving. That's not to say that I don't enjoy gifts. But no amount of gifts is going to make me feel romantic if I don't actually have an emotional connection to the man giving them to me. When a man I'm emotionally involved with gives me a gift, it's romantic, it's special, and it means something. When there's no emotional involvement with a guy who gives me a gift, it's a nice gesture, but it's just a gift.

In order to be romantic with someone, you need to find out what it means to them. Having your needs met is romantic. If your man has had a hard day, maybe he'd like you to comfort him, fix him a drink, and listen to his troubles while you give him a back rub. Or occasionally surprise him with a special dinner of his favorite foods when he's not expecting it. Sometimes, just snuggle into his arms and tell him you appreciate all that he does for you.

Making me feel loved and cherished is romantic. Being respectful and attentive is romantic. Looking after me is romantic. Little things, like knowing I'm tired so he does the dishes, is romantic. Hugging me from behind and kissing my neck when I'm cooking in the kitchen is romantic. So, it's not just the big gestures that are romantic; it's little things like that.

Most of all, it's just being with him, spending time together, and enjoying each other's company. That's what really sends me.
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Agree with everything 100 percent. Throw in a candlelight dinner, a glass of wine, soft music, and a slow dance afterward, and it's a perfect recipe for romance.
 

Do men and women have different ideas of what "romance" is?​


Of course they do..... When dancing, Men dance forwards, and the Ladies tug the blokes backwards towards them, then, with all this tooing and froing, the seeds of 'Romance' are sown and the couple sometimes plant themselves in a cosy bed where they bloom. 😊
 
Mr. Ed said:
I can only speak as a man, therefore because women are women and men are men having the same opinion is doubtful.
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Just curious as to why you might think that a man and woman having the same idea of romance is doubtful. Do you feel that candlelight dinners, sharing special moments together, slow dancing, taking her somewhere special, or sitting by a fire reading to each other is not appealing to a man?

I enjoy racing, working in the garage, and occasionally watching football, but I also love those other things, including walking together holding hands. I don't find it unmanly at all.
 
Yes, they do have different ideas, but only in sense that we're individuals, and what romance represents to one may not be romantic to another. From social conditioning, to personal experience. So, flowers may not be all that romantic, but someone buying you your very favorite flowers because they heard you saying how much you love them, that can be romantic. You know, things that are connected to you individually that have been picked up by time together.

Hollywood doesn't help. It continues to push a version of romance that is dog-eared and unrealistic.

Still, I can't lay claim to being romantic.
 
I think I have had different ideas of romance with different partners.

With the love of my life there was nothing better than just our being together. It didn't much matter what we were doing or what he gave to me. It was offering me comfort when that was needed and feeling like a true supportive partnership. I think he was more in need of outside affirmation than I was.

Maybe the personality has more to do with it than gender does.
 
If you think it can be hard for us to figure out, things sound even scarier for the younger people close to 21. Not that we necessarily had any more on the ball back then, but we tended to have fewer dangers lurking so near by. "Dangers" might be too strong a word, "temptations" might be better.

A lot of this comes in the form of seamier social media and the fact that it has become so normalized to younger people. Tinder and OnlyFans seem to be just the tip of the iceberg and it is heartbreaking to see where it leads them. Strange world where rooms in shared youth housing come with stripper poles as standard furnishings. And that isn't just the girls.

I won't even go into the casual drug abuse. And when did it become normal to have teeth set with fake gems?
 
fuzzybuddy said:
Do men and women have different ideas of what "romance" is?
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Yes, probably.

It seems to me, in my experience, whether it be a romantic time out or in that I plan and carry out, the woman involved doesn't get a sense of how romantic it was until 24 hours later. And then she might swoon on me because of the sudden realisation. Some people process things differently, and slower than others.

I'm sure many will disagree depending on their own experiences, but I personally find men are more romantic than women.
 
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Bella said:
There's a definition of what romance is, but it's rather subjective. What's romantic may mean different things to different people. What's most important is that you and your partner are on the same page.

I can only speak for myself. Romantic gestures are lovely, but it takes more than giving me perfume, flowers, or candy. For me, romance involves having an emotional connection and entails much more than gift-giving. That's not to say that I don't enjoy gifts. But no amount of gifts is going to make me feel romantic if I don't actually have an emotional connection to the man giving them to me. When a man I'm emotionally involved with gives me a gift, it's romantic, it's special, and it means something. When there's no emotional involvement with a guy who gives me a gift, it's a nice gesture, but it's just a gift.

In order to be romantic with someone, you need to find out what it means to them. Having your needs met is romantic. If your man has had a hard day, maybe he'd like you to comfort him, fix him a drink, and listen to his troubles while you give him a back rub. Or occasionally surprise him with a special dinner of his favorite foods when he's not expecting it. Sometimes, just snuggle into his arms and tell him you appreciate all that he does for you.

Making me feel loved and cherished is romantic. Being respectful and attentive is romantic. Looking after me is romantic. Little things, like knowing I'm tired so he does the dishes, is romantic. Hugging me from behind and kissing my neck when I'm cooking in the kitchen is romantic. So, it's not just the big gestures that are romantic; it's little things like that.

Most of all, it's just being with him, spending time together, and enjoying each other's company. That's what really sends me.
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I would go along with this, and include some degree of spontaneity too. Also, any romance doesn't need or require an end result. It's just about a particular moment in time.

You mention someone hugging or even just holding you from behind, perhaps with a kiss on the neck or even the side of the cheek. And genuinely doing it for the affection and connection it shows. It is something that can be done anywhere and costs nothing in itself. It can be done looking over the side of a ship. Looking over a bridge or from or river bank. Even at home if the woman is at the sink. The possibilities are endless.

As for gifts, they don't have to be expensive, just thoughtful. A small gift hidden inside her favorite coffee jar. Something for her to discover in the morning after I've already left the house.

A walk in the park together, a walk along a well lit river embankment at night holding hands with very few people around. Providing a sense of safety and protection too. Both a common and unique approach to romance can go a long way, as long as it is genuine.

As mentioned, when it comes to romance different people have a different sense of what it is and what it entails. Different societies and cultures might have a different sense too. I don't think there is a one size fits all. I hope I'm not giving too much away. Some find taking a bath together romantic, even helping to reinforce an already existing connection. Lying there in a warm bath and talking, preferably with lots of bubbles and relatively low light. Just saying. :)

Just taking in itself can be seen as romantic at times too. People are together, hopefully, because they find something special in that person. It doesn't take a lot to show someone how special you think and see they are.
 
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Magna-Carta said:
Yes, probably.

It seems to me, in my experience, whether it be a romantic time out or in that I plan and carry out, the woman involved doesn't get a sense of how romantic it was until 24 hours later. And then she might swoon on me because of the sudden realisation. Some people process things differently, and slower than others.

I'm sure many will disagree depending on their own experiences, but I personally find men are more romantic than women.
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Most of my male buddies seemed to want the little house with a picket fence, and a wife and kids. While most men may fantasize about car chases and shoot 'em ups, it is a fantasy, they desire a true homelife. I guess that's kind of romantic????????
 
fuzzybuddy said:
Most of my male buddies seemed to want the little house with a picket fence, and a wife and kids.
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Personally, I don't think I have a nostalgia for that kind of thing, but I think I see why some might, if not most. Many might prefer or prioritise career ambitions, adventurous pursuits, or other personal goals over what many might see as traditional home life. If marriage and kids come early, the reality for some men might be that they just settle into it and then get used to it. Their actual goals in life might have been different at one time, perhaps. Then the circumstances they find themselves in might just simply cause them to reevaluate and change priorities?

fuzzybuddy said:
While most men may fantasize about car chases and shoot 'em ups, it is a fantasy, they desire a true homelife. I guess that's kind of romantic????????
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I can't say I fantasize about shoot 'em ups, not really my thing. I don't think I fantasize about car chases either. Well, I say that, not that it was a 'fantasy' as such. As silly and stupid as it is and was, I have been in a few car 'chases' though, in my misdirected early 20's, for the fun of it. With me being chased. There was no romance involved though, to get back on topic.
 
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