My second husband never cheated on me. He provided well for our family and was a good person in many ways. But he was controlling and verbally abusive. I dragged him to counseling numerous times which didn’t help.
I am trained to be a therapist but changed careers after 4 years because I found it very depressing so I’m acutely aware of my own shortcomings. I went to counseling a year by myself to get the strength to leave him once the kids were grown because I was so stressed out that my neck was literally strangling both my arms. The neurologist said after running tests it was stress and I needed to figure out what was wrong with my life and change it.
I lived with my third husband for 6 years before marriage to make sure we were compatible. It was the best time of my life. However, over time he changed and became critical, lost a good job because of his actions, never worked again after age 53, and became a serial cheater.
However, my stepson that we had custody of since 13 recently told me that his dad cheated on his mom also and said he was morally bankrupt. So people change over time and there’s no guarantees. My last 2 marriages were 22 years each and I have no interest in ever living with a man again. I’m not blaming myself because my last husband was a great liar and I had no clue for a long time.
His family all thought I was a saint for sticking with him through countless bad times of his own making about 13 years into the relationship and all supported me leaving so that tells you something. Some women marry serial killers and are the last to know so should they blame themselves?
