Don’t judge an entire society based upon two encounters with somewhat rude people.
But it's not two encounters. It's constant.
I've gone from limping to cane to walker to power chair as my mobility got progressively worse just as the doctors predicted it would because incurable and degenerative sucks like that but one has to deal with reality not wishful thinking.
My experience has been the nice ones are the exception not the rule. There's a resentment that you're even there. That old people and the disabled should just never leave their house and trouble the young and able-bodied with their annoying slow presence. We just should not be out of our house getting in their way.
I'd say the rude and mean far outnumber the nice and polite and I'm frankly willing to settle for their just not caring that I'm there even though I do sometimes need help. So far I am not paralyzed or anything and can still put weight on my feet so can stand if I have to for a minute or so.
So I can turn off my chair, put down my basket, get awkwardly out of my chair leaning on its arms for support, quickly grab item that's not in my reach sitting, drop it in my basket as I drop back down into my power chair before I fall, pick up basket, turn on chair and continue. I wrote out all that so everyone would know what a production it is but, eh, I can do it so it's nice if someone helps me but not disasterous if they don't.
Oh and, as I'm doing all this production to grab that can on the top shelf, I'm trying to forget about all the social media posts about how people are faking their disability because they did something like that.
My cardiologist has told me to do no heavy lifting so, eh, go ahead and have me risk lifting that 12-pack of Snapple myself because it'll inconvenience you to put it on my counter (anything that heavy is going to be delivered though, thank God, I've got help by way of offspring and often wonder what those who don't do). It'll inconvenience you more if I dead shovel lifting it myself so hurry on out so you won't witness that. I wouldn't want to ruin your day.
In the store, once I can't stand for that brief time, I will have to bring my reacher thing that grabs stuff I can't reach around the house and, well, won't my swinging that around be fun for you to dodge and I guarantee a lot of things are going to drop because those things don't grip too well. Now you've got to wait for the clean-up on aisle 7 since you couldn't take two seconds to reach for granny in the wheelchair. Watch my face not having sympathy for you when if you had had even the slightest for me, you wouldn't be enduring that now.
Some stores claim if you need help shopping, they'll have a clerk help you. Have you ever tried it? They'll keep you waiting 'til they're free. So long you give up and that's going when the store's slow. Thing is they hire less clerks for the slow shifts so they don't have anyone any freer then than they do the busy times.
Slower times are still better as less people to get around but good luck waiting and I'm ill on top of being dsiabled. I want in and out because I'm always but always afraid of getting suddenly ill. I'm largely homebound not because of my mobility issues (okay in winter it is that because I can't afford all terrain, all weather power chair - those things start at $20,000) but because a tendency to get suddenly ill makes me reluctant to risk it. I've half a dozen things that doctors can do nothing about but, again, one has to deal with reality not what they wish were the case.
And, yes, pushing myself to do beyond my ability when I'm forced to does tend to make me more apt to being ill.
I'll say this - for what's it's worth - when someone is kind and helpful, it is not only a huge relief because they did something quite easy for them that's quite difficult for me but it absolutely makes my day. I am utterly moved by and appreciative of their small kindness that they thought nothing of giving. I have to force myself to keep it to a simple thank you instead of gushing because it's maybe one out of a dozen that is kind and even rarer that they see me struggling and offer. It utterly makes my day. I smile the rest of the day for just being that touched by a stranger being that kind.
