This being a SENIOR board

It would be impossible to find out if anyone had actually died, and possibly intrusive.As to sending cards and wreaths, you would need the persons address, none of us surely want our real names and addresses published anywhere on the forum?I know that we do wonder where people have gone sometimes, but as Applecruncher says, we are not real friends in real life, nice though it is, to have a connection and chat on here.
 

Applecruncher I must agree with most of your post. Real friends are few and hard to find. Yes we get to know something about a person on a forum and think we know them but unless the friendship is face to face over a period of time real friendship cannot be confirmed.
Some "friends" on forums actually thought they could form a marriage life, but after they meet a few times called it off as they never really knew the other person.
 
It's not impossible to know if someone has died. In previous forums, people that were ill made arrangements for a spouse or child to go into the forum and message one of the members to tell the forum of their passing. So it can be arranged..And some forum members have exchanged phone numbers, or are friends on FB.. I have several FB friends that previously were on a forum with me.
 
I disagree that you have to meet someone in person in order to be 'friends'. I made many friends on an American Expat forum, some of them from as far back as 2002. I met a few in person, some I didn't. But I certainly consider the ones I've only known online for up to 13 years as 'friends'. I am FB friends with a lot of people that I knew on a baby boomer forum that became defunct. I exchange xmas cards with several of them. They are also 'friends'.
 
I agree that people on forums can become very good friends. My son moderates a type of forum and has become good friends with several of its participants. In fact one of his friends did die in a road accident a year ago and he was informed by other members the forum, who knew him personally. Needless to say, he was devastated.
 
And the word "Friend" can have different degrees. I have two friends... one I've known for 62 years.. the other for 60 years.. and that's it.. just two of those, they are precious to me.. in that we have shared our entire lives. On the other hand, I have people I call friends who I have varying degrees of longevity and intimacy, but I still call them friends and I still value them. I don't value them less... only differently..
 
QuickSilver said:
It's not impossible to know if someone has died. In previous forums, people that were ill made arrangements for a spouse or child to go into the forum and message one of the members to tell the forum of their passing. So it can be arranged..And some forum members have exchanged phone numbers, or are friends on FB.. I have several FB friends that previously were on a forum with me.
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So do I, I have also talked on the phone with some. Also have met one or two in person. There are many forum members that have my phone number and address.
 
applecruncher said:
... As far as online, I think there is a difference between being friendly, interacting pleasantly, having fun, and exchanging opinions vs being “friends”. Sure, the term “friend” is used in forums and other places like Facebook, but I just can’t feel close to people I haven’t met in person and spent time with. I can (and have) felt an attachment of some sort, but that’s not friendship, imo. Also, people are often quick to defriend/drop an online “friend” when the truth is they were never really “friends” at all (except maybe in the mind of one of them). :shrug:
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I've found that what works for me is to differentiate between "friends" and "acquaintances".

To paraphrase the old joke, acquaintances know I've killed someone but won't tell the police.

Friends help me bury the bodies. :cool:
 
I think this thing has grown from my original idea into much much more. All I meant is for the willing member to simply say somewhere "if I don't post for X days and haven't said goodbye, I am dead". If I intend to go otherwise I will post it in my profile. Simple, not intrusive, not and admission of BFFL with anyone....no biggie.
 
AZ Jim said:
I think this thing has grown from my original idea into much much more. All I meant is for the willing member to simply say somewhere "if I don't post for X days and haven't said goodbye, I am dead". If I intend to go otherwise I will post it in my profile. Simple, not intrusive, not and admission of BFFL with anyone....no biggie.
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I personally think it's nice to have someone looking out for "us" I have been on the sick list lately with BP problems , spent two days in hospital. I just didn't feel up to posting so I was "missing" for almost two weeks...
A few days ago a dear fellow member contacted me via PM to inquire if I was OK which really boosted me, I'm with you we are all getting into our use by date years and it's nice to have someone out there looking out for us partially if a person lives alone. If it happens I'm missing for more than two weeks I'm more than happy to be contacted by any of of wonderfull members to say are You OK ??
Thanks Jim
:thankyou1:
 
One of the forums, that I Moderated, we had the PM Feature set for a Member to get an instant e mail when they received a PM. This was set up by default (when you joined). This way if a member had missed someone they can try to contact them via PM..
 
hollydolly said:
I get an instant email whenever I receive a PM on SF Ken...doesn't everyone on here ?
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I get an email when, I receive a PM on SF , I also get a pop up on the SF site to say I have a PM. Is it an option in settings to choose if you want to receive PM Holly ??? Don't remember without going to look ..
 
I had the email option turned off, as it was getting annoying.You can choose it or not.The notification at the top of the page is enough to tell you if you have any mail.
 
Then there could be another option.. and this of course would be completely up to the individual.. give one person you trust your phone number. Another option would be to instruct your spouse or your child or a good friend to come on the site and tell the members you have died, or you are incapacitated...etc.. Another completely optional thing. I have been on forums where we were told by a relative of a poster that that poster passed away.. It just depends on how you feel about forums and forum friends.
 
A few know my email but if I'm dead, that won't help except that I'm not answering which would be a clue because I'm really prompt in replying. But here are other reasons why one can't reply to an email.

I guess I could tell my daughter to get on my sites and let them know...I'm still new here so don't know if people would even realize I'm gone or even care.
 
LynnD said:
A few know my email but if I'm dead, that won't help except that I'm not answering which would be a clue because I'm really prompt in replying. But here are other reasons why one can't reply to an email.

I guess I could tell my daughter to get on my sites and let them know...I'm still new here so don't know if people would even realize I'm gone or even care.
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We care....
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