Ever buy a thoughtful gift to have it treated dismissively?

officerripley said:
For several years, the next-door neighbor (an early 50s divorced gal who lives alone) brought over really nice cookies she makes every year for Christmas and we've given her either a sherry wine cake or a poppy seed cake that I've made. And I've gotten compliments from other people on both the cakes so I guess they're not terrible.

Well, Christmas 2022, when the neighbor brought the cookies over, she said, "Now, whatever you do, don't make me a cake, ok?" It startled me, so I just mumbled something like, "Oh, ok, well thanks for the cookies?"

And I figured that she no longer wanted to do the cookie-cake exchange for whatever reason and that was her way of trying to stop it in the future, so I didn't even think about making her a cake this year. But she knocks on the door this last Christmas with the cookies again and says, "Don't forget, no cake for me!"

Maybe she's dieting, but she's already a size 4, for crying out loud. :rolleyes: (Size 4 here in the U.S. fits someone who weighs about 95 lb./43 kg.) Or maybe she's just trying to stay off the sugar, IDK.
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you should be first next year...take a cake.. and say ''now don't forget , no cookies for me ''
 
Jules said:
I’d tell the kids when they were young that if they didn’t like it, they could exchange it for something else. Months later when it was found tossed in the drawer unused, now that displeased me.
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..or worse. I used to find unopened gifts , not from me thankfully, but from friends or colleagues to my daughter..in her waste bin.

There would be jewellery, including watches and necklaces and bracelets thrown, because they were not the type she would wear...

Eventually she started giving me some of these things instead.. I got a beautiful scarf and hat set.. , some lovely white company candles... etc
 
Pleased that this topic resonated with a number of people, although perhaps sad that it did! Reassuring at least to know that others have had similar experiences and travails. Misery loves company… 😿

In the situation with my mother, family soon learned that most gifts, regardless of how nice and thoughtful, would be promptly taken back. Less time was spent on shopping for her, and gifts were presented with the receipt in the box in the expectation that it would be returned. Mum would actually become irate if she could not return something. In her later years, we would simply give her cash gifts, not that she needed cash, and such a gift struck me as impersonal and even cold. My mother was, however, quite the eccentric… 😩
 
Fyrefox said:
Pleased that this topic resonated with a number of people, although perhaps sad that it did! Reassuring at least to know that others have had similar experiences and travails. Misery loves company… 😿

In the situation with my mother, family soon learned that most gifts, regardless of how nice and thoughtful, would be promptly taken back. Less time was spent on shopping for her, and gifts were presented with the receipt in the box in the expectation that it would be returned. Mum would actually become irate if she could not return something. In her later years, we would simply give her cash gifts, not that she needed cash, and such a gift struck me as impersonal and even cold. My mother was, however, quite the eccentric… 😩
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that's what I do with my daughter now ...just cash... it seems such an impersonal gift, but she'll take that quickly...

When I gave her cash at Christmas this year.. she said it would be used to pay for her new Dishwasher... last year it was used to pay for a new Iphone15... so at least she's getting what she really wants..
 
ex-sister-in-law, there was no pleasing this b*tch. I was a quilter and thought who could refuse a handmade blanket of warmth. I repeatedly told her I was making her something really special “you are going to love it”. I had her open it last; the family braced themselves. She opened it, didn’t even unfold it and said “is this what u were so excited about? It isn’t my taste”. I stood up, grabbed it and said not so kind words, even yelled at the family for enabling her to treat people like that; they were scared of her. I put my coat on and walked home, about a mile, on Christmas. Sniff. She would have complained if you hung her with a new rope.
 
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Fyrefox said:
Pleased that this topic resonated with a number of people, although perhaps sad that it did! Reassuring at least to know that others have had similar experiences and travails. Misery loves company… 😿

In the situation with my mother, family soon learned that most gifts, regardless of how nice and thoughtful, would be promptly taken back. Less time was spent on shopping for her, and gifts were presented with the receipt in the box in the expectation that it would be returned. Mum would actually become irate if she could not return something. In her later years, we would simply give her cash gifts, not that she needed cash, and such a gift struck me as impersonal and even cold. My mother was, however, quite the eccentric… 😩
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I would call her a passive aggressive personality type. Never satisfied, always finding something to be miffed about. JImB.
 
AnneTeak said:
ex-sister-in-law, there was no pleasing this b*tch. I was a quilter and thought who could refuse a handmade blanket of warmth. I repeatedly told her I was making her something really special “you are going to love it”. I had her open it last; the family braced themselves. She opened it, didn’t even unfold it and said “is this what u were so excited about? It isn’t my taste”. I stood up, grabbed it and said not so kind words, even yelled at the family for enabling her to treat people like that; they were scared of her. I put my coat on and walked home, about a mile, on Christmas. Sniff. She would have complained if you hung her with a new rope.
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Excellent...I would have done and said the same... I go off like a canon when presented by someone so rude...
 
One time my maternal grandmother received a straw hat front door decoration from her daughter-in-law similar to the graphic below. When she opened it, she exclaimed , "What am I supposed to do with that?"

I tell people, "Unless I can eat it or put it in my wallet, don't bother giving me anything." I really have more than I need of material things (except maybe cat figurines).

hat.jpg
 
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debodun said:
One time my maternal grandmother received a straw hat front door decoration from her daughter-in-law similar to the graphic below. When she opened it, she exclaimed , "What am I supposed to do with that?"

I tell people, "Unless I can eat it or put it in my wallet, don't bother giving me anything," I really have more than I need of material things (except maybe cat figurines).

View attachment 323978
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Once upon a time, the straw hats were very popular for decorating. I used to make them, and everyone loved them. My sister made one for me, which I hung on the wall over my bed.
 
Back on topic .. my older sister was picky-picky about gifts. I don't know how many things I ended up taking back to the store. Finally, it got to the point where she was telling me what she wanted, size/colour/etc.
Once her boys came along, and my daughter came along, we bought only for the kids, which was easier.
 
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