Humour, Teasing, Acceptance and the Middle Path...

Yes, be gentle with me as it is my first forum...
 

QuickSilver said:
I have no problem with threads going off topic... It makes them interesting and the twists and turns are fun as everyone offers an opinion. What I DO have a problem with is the same few people that carry their banter into thread after thread without even trying to contribute to it. It's private conversation that is just pure attention seeking drivel. I can understand why the idea of a separate Flirt/Tease thread hasn't been of interest.. because THEN we could ignore it.


And... Like AC.. if this is considered an attack.. tough. It's my opinion... because I love this forum and don't want to see it ruined either.
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Well put. I usually keep quiet about stuff like this, but I'm weighing in because it is a bit cowardly (for me) to let a few others take all the heat.
 
SifuPhil said:
Now, c'mon ... it really isn't ALL threads, is it? ;)

It probably just seems that way! :eek:

I truly do get that such habits seem almost OCD after being exposed to them for so long. My personal wall-thumpers are nail-biters and people who eat with their mouths open, but that's in the real world - Lord knows the online one has dozens of its own examples.

I've found one effective weapon to use against that which displeases me - totally ignoring the act / person / words. Many times, denying them an audience will lead to their disappearance. I know it takes a certain amount of forbearance and it will take time - but if the balance is to be maintained it might be wise to move the weights on the scale slowly rather than precipitously.




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And that my friend is what the "ignore" button is for... works like a charm.
 

What I DO have a problem with is the same few people that carry their banter into thread after thread without even trying to contribute to it. It's private conversation that is just pure attention seeking drivel. I can understand why the idea of a separate Flirt/Tease thread hasn't been of interest.. because THEN we could ignore it.
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Nailed it, QS.

Also think some of these people miss the old AOL chatrooms, where you could just pop in, type a sentence, "lol", maybe flirt (with another anonymous screen name). end with "lol", lather, rinse, repeat.....lol, lol, lol :rolleyes:
 
I'm not a big fan either of suggestive and provocative flirting between some participants that often break a perfectly good thread. PMs would be a more appropriate way to go. Or, perhaps a dating forum would better suit.

I agree humor and a bit of banter is fun and I admit I have been known to get a little riske myself, but I find it irritating and a turn-off when threads are incessantly highjacked or invaded by posts with a sexual agenda, and no, I am not an uptight schoolmarm.
 
I find it interesting that supposedly risqué behaviour is found to be more damning than personal attacks. I am certainly willing to tone down behaviour that may appear too provocative to some, however, I doubt any such restraint on the part of those who feel justified in handing out derisive remarks will be forthcoming.
 
QuickSilver said:
And that my friend is what the "ignore" button is for... works like a charm.
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Something I've always wondered about the ignore button - what happens when the person you're ignoring comes out with a world-changing post. a post so germane to you personally that it would forever improve your life, and you miss it because you're ignoring them?

Another thing that puts a burr under my saddle about the ignore function is that it requires no discipline and shields us from the real world. It's like the rich people I used to see in NYC approaching a beggar and shielding their eyes so they could just make them disappear.

Once again referencing Merlin's OP - we need to learn to accept the "suffering" in life. Perhaps part of that, for some of us, might include utilizing selective reading skills instead of employing blind ignorance of a person.
 
Of course you are entitled to your opinion... and feel free to wade through all the nonsense.. I prefer not seeing it.. since they apparently are not planning on stopping. So everyone is happy... right..

That said.. This is a social forum that we come to in order to enjoy conversation on interesting topics. I am under no illusion or expectation that someone will post something that will radically alter my life. It's entertainment and it's camaraderie, and if a few are making it hard for others to enjoy the experience.. why should we suck it up and put up with it when there is an easy fix?
 
what happens when the person you're ignoring comes out with a world-changing post. a post so germane to you personally that it would forever improve your life, and you miss it because you're ignoring them?
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Highly unlikely. Not something I intend to worry about.

And the ignore function on an internet message board is not "shielding" me from real life.
 
QuickSilver said:
... why should we suck it up and put up with it when there is an easy fix?
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... because this forum is not a Democracy, but is a privately-owned site where the only rules are those set forth by the owner? Just because a mass of people hold to a particular viewpoint doesn't necessarily make that viewpoint correct.
 
Personally, I don't mind if a thread goes off-topic, that happens in most real life conversations (at least it does with me), and is part of how a "real" converation works. However, when the whole topic is lost, that is frustrating, but not a big issue, since I can just scroll though the fluff if I don't care to read it.

Personal attacks are (to me) a totally different issue, and I think that we, as mature people, should be able to express our opinions and thoughts politely to each other, and not attack the people who have a dissenting opinion.
It is one thing to disagree with a person's views (political or otherwise), but entirely another to attack them personally for believing that way.
Warrigal stands out as a wonderful example of being able to do this diplomatically.
She is totally able to express how she thinks, believes, or feels about any subject; yet I have never ever seen her be disrespectful of anyone else's differing viewpoint.

I have been a part of this forum for quite a while; but I finally got to the place where I didn't even want to post about anything, or read what other people were posting, simply because of the personal attacks on people, rather than a discussion of ideas.

I realize that we all have a different description of what a personal attack consists of, and what might seem like that to one person, might just seem like normal conversation to the other person, so some of this is subjective.
One of the things that seems to be misssing in the world today is something that most of us grew up with, and that is the art of being graceful in our conversations with other people. I (for one) miss that kindness and gentility that people took for granted at one time.
 
I've seen many examples where it does.
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Not for me. There are hundreds of thousands of websites I never have nor ever will see, and millions of people post on them. I can't/don't want to read everything. I don't depend on internet forums to keep me connected to real life - quite the contrary. If I miss something, well, too bad so sad.

If you don't like the ignore function, don't use it. That's your right.
 
Shalimar said:
I find it interesting that supposedly risqué behaviour is found to be more damning than personal attacks. I am certainly willing to tone down behaviour that may appear too provocative to some, however, I doubt any such restraint on the part of those who feel justified in handing out derisive remarks will be forthcoming.
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I don't think anyone or anything is being damned here. No one likes derisive personal comments, but people are people and it happens when they feel strongly about their beliefs/opinions and personalities have a way of clashing. We can pretty much tell what someone's issues, interests and priorities are by what they focus on here. Interesting, isn't it?
 
Provocative is not the issue - the problem has been clearly stated. Some are choosing to feign confusion and innocence. Might fool some but not me.
 
I wouldn't normally say anything, but I have found all the flirty banter, that seems to infect a lot of threads, annoying and boring too.I thought it was just me, but it seems not.A little of it now and again is alright, but there has been a lot.What I don't understand is why Merlin started this thread, as it has not had the reaction he may have expected?It's no big thing in the scheme of things, but I liked this forum because up to recently, it was friendly, but just that and nothing more.Perhaps we can just have a little less of it, and move on now?However, it's a democratic forum and if others want it, then that is what will happen .
 
Happyflowerlady said:
Personally, I don't mind if a thread goes off-topic, that happens in most real life conversations (at least it does with me), and is part of how a "real" converation works. However, when the whole topic is lost, that is frustrating, but not a big issue, since I can just scroll though the fluff if I don't care to read it.

Personal attacks are (to me) a totally different issue, and I think that we, as mature people, should be able to express our opinions and thoughts politely to each other, and not attack the people who have a dissenting opinion.
It is one thing to disagree with a person's views (political or otherwise), but entirely another to attack them personally for believing that way.
Warrigal stands out as a wonderful example of being able to do this diplomatically.
She is totally able to express how she thinks, believes, or feels about any subject; yet I have never ever seen her be disrespectful of anyone else's differing viewpoint.

I have been a part of this forum for quite a while; but I finally got to the place where I didn't even want to post about anything, or read what other people were posting, simply because of the personal attacks on people, rather than a discussion of ideas.

I realize that we all have a different description of what a personal attack consists of, and what might seem like that to one person, might just seem like normal conversation to the other person, so some of this is subjective.
One of the things that seems to be misssing in the world today is something that most of us grew up with, and that is the art of being graceful in our conversations with other people. I (for one) miss that kindness and gentility that people took for granted at one time.
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Well said, Hfl! I agree.
 
oakapple said:
I wouldn't normally say anything, but I have found all the flirty banter, that seems to infect a lot of threads, annoying and boring too.I thought it was just me, but it seems not.A little of it now and again is alright, but there has been a lot.What I don't understand is why Merlin started this thread, as it has not had the reaction he may have expected?It's no big thing in the scheme of things, but I liked this forum because up to recently, it was friendly, but just that and nothing more.Perhaps we can just have a little less of it, and move on now?However, it's a democratic forum and if others want it, then that is what will happen .
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I think there are many of us who don't say what we really think here. I said what I thought a few weeks ago and it was immediately removed. I was told in no uncertain terms if I didn't like it, leave. Since then, I have been afraid to say what I think for fear I will be banned.
 
We don't all see things the same but if you don't like the A side of the Menu, you can select from the B side. Personally I think there's room for us all under the tent.
 

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