Everyone here has had lots of time to love themselves

difficult to love one's self..we must....world has been run by a system...ages...that's the world...that teaches us hate. ..love never dies
 

Mr. Ed said:
Several ways to love yourself, spend quality time with positive people, get a pet to care for, listening to music or watching a positive geared movie, take up a hobby, travel, have friends over to eat, make yourself available or volunteer. There are countless ways that you can feel good about yourself, just be thankful. Let me rephrase that “just be and thou shalt relieve
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You presented several ways to feel good about the things you do, but how do you "love" yourself? If you mean you love yourself by making yourself feel good then...


I "honestly" have to say I've done that. ;)
 
For someone without material or $$$ wealth, on many facets have a relatively exceptionally successful and interesting life others would envy. But I would not characterize such as "love themselves". More about being content and glad in having guided myself over decades so I can still enjoy and have value with living. I would like to exist forever. Thursday and Friday will be skiing. In any case, life is short precious within eternity, with existence in our modern world dangerous and fragile, so it could end any day for this very mortal person.
 
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seadoug said:
I spent many years hating myself because I was gay and grew up in the Baptist Church. I was always taught my preferences were an abomination. It really does a number on ones' self-esteem.

So you'd better believe that I've chosen to move beyond that and love and respect myself now. Every day I wake up and think about the things I've accomplished in life, what I'm currently contributing, who I am (husband, brother-in-law, uncle, good friend) and how I can leave a legacy that enhances others' lives.
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Five words you should internalise - "God does not make junk".
You are right to value yourself. You are innately worthy of respect and love, as am I.
 
You asked how you love yourself without the inclusion of warm & fuzzy rewards that make you feel good, how do you love anything that is not in someway related to yourself? We live in mirror reflections of our approval / disapproval rankings that either reflect how we want to be seen and we hide the parts of ourselves that may not meet the approval of who we choose to be.

Loving yourself is being completely honest with yourself a metaphor, standing before your peers and all of the world with nothing to hide, no shame for what you are doing for there you are on international tv without a stitch of clothing on, you are exposed and love for yourself, for your integrity, for your strength and your purpose you demonstrated the kind love for myself and respectively for everyone else. Love conquers your deepest fears so I believe love themselves, if they run around naked.
 
Like most people I have good and bad days as well as some huge disappointments. But I pick myself up and move on the best I can.

I have helped many people and dogs through out my life and feel good about that. Sometimes the commitments lasted for years. I know I am a good person that’s always tried to do the right things. Sometimes I fail like everyone does.

I didn’t expect my senior years to turn out like this but have made the best of it. I’m grateful for my family and good friends.
 
Mr. Ed said:
Several ways to love yourself, spend quality time with positive people, get a pet to care for, listening to music or watching a positive geared movie, take up a hobby, travel, have friends over to eat, make yourself available or volunteer. There are countless ways that you can feel good about yourself, just be thankful. Let me rephrase that “just be and thou shalt relieve
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All very good points. I have two cats that are like velcro and being their Cat Daddy makes my day. I listen to music every time I have the chance. In my car, in the gym, walking around the mall. It always lifts my spirits and sometimes takes me back to another time. We also travel every few months. I've yet to do the "volunteer" thing but I continue to look for opportunities.
 
Sorry, but help me out here. I can't distinguish "feeling good about the things I do" with "loving myself". It's trivial, I know, but I want to understand. I do feel good about the things I do. I try to help people every day. Even stupid things like when I see people returning shopping carts to the store, I take over and do it for them. I drive my friends to their doctor appointments and If I know a friend is struggling with their bills, I make up the difference.

What does that have to do with loving myself. I'm sorry but saying that I love cats and listen to music has absolutely nothing to do with loving yourself.
 
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Remy said:
I think I'm a terrible person and that's why my life goes like it does. I can't wire my brain back from childhood.
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You are far from a terrible person. If anyone told you that growing up, or at any other time, they're way off the mark. Remy, you're a sweet, thoughtful, sensitive person with a big generous heart, and I'm not the only one who sees this. If you weren't you wouldn't be taking care of you know who.

You're too hard on yourself. 🤗
 
VisualBrian said:
Sorry, but help me out here. I can't distinguish "feeling good about the things I do" with "loving myself". It's trivial, I know, but I want to understand. I do feel good about the things I do. I try to help people every day. Even stupid things like when I see people returning shopping carts to the store, I take over and do it for them. I drive my friends to their doctor appointments and If I know a friend is struggling with their bills, I make up the difference.

What does that have to do with loving myself. I'm sorry but saying that I love cats and listen to music has absolutely nothing to do with loving yourself.
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The trivial things that make you happy. I don't necessary mean a reward system such as massive shopping sprees, but things you are thankful for that may generate feelings gratefulness in a big world that at times couldn't care less. But here you are fighting through the stuff each day, that is something to. be thankful for.
 
A big part of loving one's self is forgiveness. Love is positive and negativity is opposite. Harboring negative feelings result in a less than positive outlook.
Love is complete openness to the world and all of its injustice, non-flinching, let me have it. The security of knowing whatever happens does not matter as long as you are true to yourself.
 
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Mr. Ed said:
Who honestly can say they love themselves? I love myself but sometimes I get pissed at the world.
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What does "loving yourself" actually mean?

Like most people, I've done both good and what might be perceived by others as "bad" things. I've made mistakes. I've learned by banging my head on the stairs on the way down, it seems. I don't hate myself though. I wonder what tips it over to loving yourself?
 
VaughanJB said:
I wonder what tips it over to loving yourself?
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For me the tipping point was realizing early on that life is a gift that changes daily. If I didn't love myself enough to adapt to change, then why continue?

Sadly that love of ones self isn't in every human.
 
Loving oneself is biblical. 'Love thy neighbor as thyself.' So, we are first commanded to love ourselves, without which we can't love others, another command.
 
Knight said:
For me the tipping point was realizing early on that life is a gift that changes daily. If I didn't love myself enough to adapt to change, then why continue?

Sadly that love of ones self isn't in every human.
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Oh hell, then no, I don't love myself. :D

Pepper said:
Loving oneself is biblical. 'Love thy neighbor as thyself.' So, we are first commanded to love ourselves, without which we can't love others, another command.
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Perhaps, but as an unbeliever, it's sadly a meaningless statement.
 
VisualBrian said:
Sorry, but help me out here. I can't distinguish "feeling good about the things I do" with "loving myself". It's trivial, I know, but I want to understand. I do feel good about the things I do. I try to help people every day. Even stupid things like when I see people returning shopping carts to the store, I take over and do it for them. I drive my friends to their doctor appointments and If I know a friend is struggling with their bills, I make up the difference.

What does that have to do with loving myself. I'm sorry but saying that I love cats and listen to music has absolutely nothing to do with loving yourself.
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Good for you for doing good things for others. It's admirable.

Re: getting joy from cats or music that helps you feel good about the world around you, and about yourself, if you don't get it who am I to explain it?
 
seadoug said:
Good for you for doing good things for others. It's admirable.

Re: getting joy from cats or music that helps you feel good about the world around you, and about yourself, if you don't get it who am I to explain it?
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Thanks.
Again (though it seems I won't ever get an answer) how does my feeling good equate to "loving myself"? Can't I do things for the purely selfish reason of feeling good, and if so, if I drink or take drugs to feel good does that mean I love myself?

I've searched online to see if maybe it's just me that's having a hard time understanding self-love. Dictionaries don't have a definition for it. With exception to the opinion of some psyc articles that use warm and fuzzy terms like I'm reading here (warm baths, good thoughts, etc), the only thing I can find is that it's equated more with selfishness than anything else.
 
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VisualBrian said:
Thanks.
Again (though it seems I won't ever get an answer) how does my feeling good equate to "loving myself"? Can't I do things for the purely selfish reason of feeling good, and if so, if I drink or take drugs to feel good does that mean I love myself?

I've searched online to see if maybe it's just me that's having a hard time understanding self-love. Dictionaries don't have a definition for it. With exception to the opinion of some psyc articles that use warm and fuzzy terms like I'm reading here (warm baths, good thoughts, etc), the only thing I can find is that it's equated more with selfishness than anything else.
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I will give you some advice that may work for you (or it may not). When you wake up each morning, take time to think about who you are as a person and what you contribute to society or your loved ones. It may be that you are loyal brother, a good son, a loving husband or a provider to your pets that could have otherwise gone homeless.

I'm an only child who took care of my mother for 21 years after my father passed away, so I look at myself as a good son who made sure she had the best possible life. That's an accomplishment that makes me "love myself". I'm also a husband of 32 years that has provided for my household and contributed to a comfortable life. That makes me "love myself".

Do your acts of kindness make others feel good? If so, you should feel good about yourself.

It seems from your posts that you are very literal. "Loving yourself" is a somewhat abstract concept so it may not naturally resonate with you, but give it some thought.
 

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