I thought that I'd seen it and heard it all.

[timoc]

This morning, I was stood at my front gate, when a group of teenagers came pedaling by on their bikes. Non of them had hold of the handlebars, instead they were all using both hands to text on their phones, I couldn't believe my eyes.

Then this afternoon, a young boy was watching me pulling weeds in my front garden. He seemed interested in what I was doing then he said to me, "Do you like silly rhymes," to which I told him that I certainly do. He then recited the following which has had me sniggering to myself since.

If you really need to fart, let your wind go free,
And be like a dog, find a tree for a pee.

I asked him where he learned those words, and he told me his Dad farts a lot and and he always says these words when he does.

I'm sure that a lot of the members here will have some strange stories too.

 

[Paco Dennis]

That is precious!!! It is interesting how impressionable a stranger can be for us. Often, they leave and an air of mystery is left. We had a beautiful Russian lady show up unannounced at 8pm ( dark ), in the dead of winter, on the run from some group of men. We could barely understand anything she was saying, and I offered to give her a ride, but not as far as she was headed. She declined and left the way she came...never to be seen again.

 

[hollydolly]

I saw something worse regarding texting..just the other day. A Biker , looking at his phone with one hand while speeding along the road

 

[Purwell]

Let the wind go free,
Wherever you may be,
In church or chapel,
Let it rattle,

 

[Capt Lightning]

I saw something worse regarding texting..just the other day. A Biker , looking at his phone with one hand while speeding along the road

This seems to be common practice in the Netherlands - not just young people, but adults too. I've seen people reading books while riding a bicycle.

 

[Tish]

That is pure Gold!

 

[gruntlabor]

I was berry picking when a man approached. 'Excuse me, could you tell me what kind of berry that is?'
'Certainly,' I said. 'These are red currants, also known as high-bush cranberries. They're almost never used alone, but mixed with other berries. I add some to my cranberry sauce.'
'What's a cranberry?' he asked.

 

[Trish]

I was at a car boot sale looking at a portable cassette player, it was the same one mum had. A young boy, probably about 12ish, stepped closer to me and asked "Do you know what it is?" I said I did and then explained how in the "olden" days, people would buy tape cassettes and listen to music on them. I held up the one I was looking at and told him that it was a portable model, which meant people could carry it around with them when they went out, like we do today with mobile phones.

The boy stared at the portable player and asked "Seriously?" and I said yes. He thought about it for a second before shaking his head "Wow! they must have had big pockets in the olden days"

 

[Pappy]

My grandpas favorite fart saying.

Farting horses never tire,
A farting man is a man to hire.

 

[hollydolly]

This seems to be common practice in the Netherlands - not just young people, but adults too. I've seen people reading books while riding a bicycle.

yes this was an adult....

 

[911]

Here in the U.S., we have people driving their vehicle at high speeds on the interstates shaving, reading a book or paper, putting on makeup, combing their hair and even peeing in an empty paper coffee cup.

 

[hollydolly]

Here in the U.S., we have people driving their vehicle at high speeds on the interstates shaving, reading a book or paper, putting on makeup, combing their hair and even peeing in an empty paper coffee cup.

we have all of that here too.....

 

[CallMeKate]

Here in the U.S., we have people driving their vehicle at high speeds on the interstates shaving, reading a book or paper, putting on makeup, combing their hair and even peeing in an empty paper coffee cup.

Can attest. I've seen someone applying makeup in moving traffic on I95... the ever-congested Richmond... bumper to bumper while no one slowed even for the pouring rain that was happening.

 

[911]

I did a stop on a woman in a Mercedes on one of our interstates doing 84 mph in a 65 zone. I asked her if she thought it was safe to be looking in the rear view mirror while putting on her lipstick. She told me. “Yep, I’ve been doing it for years.” I told her “Well, today your luck ran out.” I gave her a citation costing $105, plush costs.

I also told her I patrol this interstate quite often and if I saw her doing it again, the fine will double. That part was a lie. State Troopers in this state do not have the ability to raise fines, but I only wanted her to be more cautious. During rush hour, we have had some of our worse accidents caused by drivers doing dumb things.

Just to show that I am not impartial, I also stopped a man reading a book he had laying against his steering wheel and issued him the same citation. I sometimes drove an unmarked car or what we call a “ghost car.” I could drive past drivers and look over as I passed them just to see if they were paying attention to the road without any distractions.

 

[C50]

I never understood guys shaving in their cars. Doesn't all those wisker trimmings make a mess on your clothes and seats? Seems kind of disgusting to me.

I will admit to texting while on a bicycle, never while in a pace line with other bikes but if I was riding alone I would do it. Those days are well behind me now,

 

[Capt Lightning]

Long ago and far away where I used to live, there was an old chap who rode a small motorbike. He would invariably smoke a pipe while riding - slowly, and leaving a trail of smoke and sparks behind him. This earned him the nickname, 'Sparky'.

 

[StarSong]

@911, many years ago at a hockey game I overheard a conversation between two women well into their fifties who were sitting to my right. One was talking about driving the freeway on her way to the game.

She'd been pulled over for not wearing her seatbelt, but showed the CA Highway Patrolman a little card identifying her son as LAPD, expecting the Chippie to let her off with a courtesy warning.

She quite indignantly said, "He told me, 'That card won't do you much good as you're catapulting through your windshield' and he handed me a ticket!!!" The friend was sympathetic, while I thought to myself: "Well done, Chippie."

Her arrogance and foolishness was quite something to behold.

 

[Pepper]

'What's a cranberry?' he asked.

 

[Pepper]

My husband could roll a joint while riding a rambunctious horse. My husband was so cool.
eta
and not spill one bit, not one

 

[Trish]

Weren't you tempted to tot up all the years she says she's been doing it and fine her for every single day?

 

[horseless carriage]

I did a stop on a woman in a Mercedes on one of our interstates doing 84 mph in a 65 zone. I asked her if she thought it was safe to be looking in the rear view mirror while putting on her lipstick. She told me. “Yep, I’ve been doing it for years.”

A lady has got to look her best. You never know, you might get stopped by a good-looking traffic cop!

 

[911]

View attachment 346910View attachment 346911
A lady has got to look her best. You never know, you might get stopped by a good-looking traffic cop!

You may be right, but I can “honestly” tell you that a person’s dress or personal hygiene methods had no effect on me ever. Good cops base their citations on 4 different criteria, makeup and shaving are not on the list. Follow procedures and then I never had to sweat being called into my Sergeant’s office.

 

[911]

@911, many years ago at a hockey game I overheard a conversation between two women well into their fifties who were sitting to my right. One was talking about driving the freeway on her way to the game.

She'd been pulled over for not wearing her seatbelt, but showed the CA Highway Patrolman a little card identifying her son as LAPD, expecting the Chippie to let her off with a courtesy warning.

She quite indignantly said, "He told me, 'That card won't do you much good as you're catapulting through your windshield' and he handed me a ticket!!!" The friend was sympathetic, while I thought to myself: "Well done, Chippie."

Her arrogance and foolishness was quite something to behold.

Great story. The kind that I prefer to read. The state police here do not honor, nor do we carry courtesy cards. I have had that pulled on me a few times. My answer was always, “Sorry, we do not honor courtesy cards.

In PA, the seat belt law is a secondary offense, meaning that if the driver is ticketed for another moving violation, then we would issue a second citation for driving without a seatbelt. BTW, as you already have heard a zillion times, seatbelts do (may) save lives.

 

[911]

Great story. The kind that I prefer to read. The state police here do not honor, nor do we carry courtesy cards. I have had that pulled on me a few times. My answer was always, “Sorry, we do not honor courtesy cards.

In PA, the seat belt law is a secondary offense, meaning that if the driver is ticketed for another moving violation, then we would issue a second citation for driving without a seatbelt. BTW, as you already have heard a zillion times, seatbelts do (may) save lives.

I would like to add as information only, Pennsylvania also has another law that was at times hard to enforce. When it’s raining, drivers must have their wipers on and lights on. When they wrote this law, they failed to include intermittent wipers and rain was such a general term. They failed to mention how much rain. Are we talking a drizzle or a steady rain? When I asked this question, I was told to use my judgment, which could be “If you have your wipers on, other drivers should have their wipers on.” That interpretation of the law just didn’t sit well with me. I never issued a citation for no wipers. The “Wiper Law” (as we Troopers called it) was also a secondary offense.

Now, the second dumbest law was that if a car on any Interstate or turnpike that stayed in the passing lane for more than 2 miles while driving under the speed limit could be arrested (issue a citation) for driving to slow in the in the passing lane. I would almost guarantee anyone that drove any vehicle in the passing lane was going at least the speed limit and if the driver spotted me behind him (unless I am driving a ghost car) they will get their speed up in a hurry. Normally, I would just turn my lights on and they would move over.

That was a first offense and could be issued a warning or citation. I never liked writing a “warning” because there was no sense to it. The warning was supppsed to go to Penn DOT and if a second warning was given within 30 days, the second warning would (could) become a citation in the mail. My opinion only, that also made no sense.

 

[Della]

This morning, I was stood at my front gate, when a group of teenagers came pedaling by on their bikes. Non of them had hold of the handlebars, instead they were all using both hands to text on their phones, I couldn't believe my eyes.

Then this afternoon, a young boy was watching me pulling weeds in my front garden. He seemed interested in what I was doing then he said to me, "Do you like silly rhymes," to which I told him that I certainly do. He then recited the following which has had me sniggering to myself since.

If you really need to fart, let your wind go free,
And be like a dog, find a tree for a pee.

I asked him where he learned those words, and he told me his Dad farts a lot and and he always says these words when he does.

I'm sure that a lot of the members here will have some strange stories too.

What amazes me is how he knew you were the absolutely perfect person to tell that joke to.