Compersion - lack of jealousy

Gardenlover

Gardenlover

The world needs more love
Can you truly enjoy the happiness of others without a hint of envy? Do you celebrate others happiness, even your mate's, regardless of where he or she finds it?
Isn't that really what the world needs now?
 

I must admit that there are some rare times when I do envy my oldest sister's life at times when I am in those "self pity" moods. She met her future husband in 1968 while in high school, got married in 1974, had three great kids and just celebrated their 50th anniversary this year. Sure they have had stumbles in life but they are the closest to being the "perfect" couple that I know. Other than that, I don't really don't feel envy towards the happiness and success of others anymore. I'm happy when good things happen to others that I know and love.


I have lived a far from perfect life though and up until around 10 years ago I was often filled with envy when others celebrated happiness or success. I was too preoccupied with what made others happy and successful instead of figuring out what made me happy. It was always the "Why them instead of me ?" syndrome. I did show happiness for others but it was totally fake most of the time. I'm not proud of those times when I acted that way but hopefully I have learned from those experiences.
 
I can truly say at this point in my life I'm not envious of anyone with more "stuff". I'm completely happy with our quality of life and value special experiences more than material things. It also helps to realize that many that have big mansions and fancy cars are not necessarily happy and are probably sacrificing their personal lives to afford them.
 

Gardenlover said:
Can you truly enjoy the happiness of others without a hint of envy? Do you celebrate others happiness, even your mate's, regardless of where he or she finds it?
Isn't that really what the world needs now?
Click to expand...
Why can't I envy others and celebrate their happiness at the same time?

There are people I envy, but it's not the resentful kind of envy, aka jealousy.

I envy them but with respect, admiration and happiness for them.

Just a knowledge that you'd love to live a life like theirs.

The two concepts are not mutually exclusive.
 
I disregard most people. Most people don't get on my wavelength anymore. The isolation has not killed me, nor made me apathetic, it's just that my attention is on self, son, grandson, my cats. I generally pay no attention, thus can't be envious. It's too late for such petty feelings. I've outgrown them.
 
I can honestly say I am not envious of others. Mostly because I would not want their lives. I think I have made my life to suit me and it is the happiest I have been in my life. So what is there for me to be envious about? Certainly not a hectic lifestyle and that is what I see in a lot of people.
 
Gardenlover said:
Can you truly enjoy the happiness of others without a hint of envy?
Click to expand...
Never gave it much thought
I'm pretty happy for others that are happy

There's so many (rich or poor) that are not
Gardenlover said:
Do you celebrate others happiness, even your mate's, regardless of where he or she finds it?
Click to expand...
Tricky question
If someone finds glee in something devious, and becomes giddy over someone's misfortune, I'm not inclined to celebrate
 
Some decades ago as I was still single I was envious of happy couples, married or not. Since I'm married, this has vanished.

Envious because somebody has more material things? Never. My wife and me have a house and a small car. We are not rich but we have enough to live our lifes.

We can't afford expensive journeys and our last flight to a not very far destination was more than 10 years ago.

I owned quite a few books but have thrown most of them away. Nevertheless I have still many.

Our neighbors are rich in comparison. They own several apartment houses, do not work and live from the rent they get from the apartments.

But their lifes don't seem to be happy. They get almost every day something by Amazon, but obviously this can't fill the emptiness they feel. So they go on and on buying things I wouldn't even need.

I feel a real joy if I get a new book every now and then. I don't need expensive vacation trips but I am content if I go hiking short tours with my wife in our region.

I never had an expensive Apple iPhone but until now my first cheap smartphone which is still working. No problem at all.
 
I'm jealous of people who have money. Not of my family though, even if they are much wealthier than myself and my husband. And it's not just money I'm jealous of, but of having children, grand children, a large family.....just did not happen in my life. I am grateful for what I have, truly, but I do get jealous.
 
PeppermintPatty said:
What others have or do has zero effect on me. I focus on my family only. They are the only ones that matter. Being jealous is a wasted negative emotion. I celebrate happiness with others.
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I could not have said it any better!! There is not one person that I would want to trade places with. You never know what they had to go through to get to where they are in life. Also, you never know what they are currently going through. I am very happy for other people's accomplishments!! It does my heart good.😍
 
I do feel envy every once in a while. I try not to, and it isn't that I'm not happy for the other person, but I still feel envious. There is an 84 yr old in the hiking group I belong to, and she is in better shape than me (I'm 68 yr). I envy her genetics, lifelong healthy habits, etc.

And since moving to a retirement community I've become aware of what a large percentage of the older generation has pension income in addition to Social Security. By the time I started working companies weren't offering a pension benefit anymore (maybe some do, but none I worked for offered them). So I envy those people that they have pensions.

I remember being very envious in my thirties (after I goofed off traveling and enjoying life through my twenties) of younger coworkers who went straight from college to full-time employment and marriage and children and owning a house. But now that I'm older I realize if I had it to do over, I'd find it depressing to be like them even though some of it would be nice I would have to miss out on other different experiences.
 

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