My neighbors - a personal diary rant thread

[caramel]

I assume they are playing loud bass driven rock n roll.

It's bass driven because they have the bass cranked up, but it's not rock n roll. It's 80s music. They're in their 60s with kids and grandkids.

My neighbors are vindictive, retaliatory, malicious sociopaths with a willingness to stoop to any juvenile level. Anything I could think of, they'd do it thousands of times worse and be partying over the harm it's causing me.

Even the police acknowledged that my neighbors have made it a game to try to get to me. I don't need to give them any ammunition to raise the stakes of their game. Even without me doing anything, they're malicious enough.

 

[Blessed]

It's bass driven because they have the bass cranked up, but it's not rock n roll. It's 80s music. They're in their 60s with kids and grandkids.

My neighbors are vindictive, retaliatory, malicious sociopaths with a willingness to stoop to any juvenile level. Anything I could think of, they'd do it thousands of times worse and be partying over the harm it's causing me.

Even the police acknowledged that my neighbors have made it a game to try to get to me. I don't need to give them any ammunition to raise the stakes of their game. Even without me doing anything, they're malicious enough.

Sorry I can't be there, I could give them a run for their money. Sometimes it can be helpful to have great big men with long bears on motorcycles as friends. They are really just big kittens but their presence will make people pay attention.......

Do you have any friends that might come by and show them the correct behavior living in a neighborhood. It is fine to go wild where there is no one you can disturb, it is another to be nuisance and scare people. Sometimes someone else can bring this to their attention that makes them realize their behavior is not acceptable.

 

[caramel]

Thanks, but I'll pass. If the police aren't scaring them, I doubt anyone will.

In my area, the noise ordinance is 24/7/365, You get 2 warnings, a handful of monetary fines, then jail. The problem is that the police have to catch them doing it for any of these to happen, but if they do, jail time is at the end. I would think the police would scare them more than anyone else.

 

[Blessed]

Thanks, but I'll pass. If the police aren't scaring them, I doubt anyone will.

In my area, the noise ordinance is 24/7/365, You get 2 warnings, a handful of monetary fines, then jail. The problem is that the police have to catch them doing it for any of these to happen, but if they do, jail time is at the end. I would think the police would scare them more than anyone else.

The police have seemed to have no effect on these fools. They turn it down and then turn it back up. Maybe this is the time to call the local news, put it out there for all to see. I bet they would not like to have everyone in the community watching there every move. If they so inclined to disrupt normal life someone over there is doing something illegal. There so called customers might move on if they know the house and occupants are now under the watch of everybody, not just the police.

This could give courage to all the people that have had to tolerate this behavior for years. If a community stands together to stop and prevent this It can make a great difference. Have you attended city council meetings, made your concerns public. It will give you a bigger platform to seek change.

 

[caramel]

This could give courage to all the people that have had to tolerate this behavior for years. If a community stands together to stop and prevent this It can make a great difference. Have you attended city council meetings, made your concerns public. It will give you a bigger platform to seek change.

You're assuming that everyone would take my side. That's not even likely. Not even a lot of people in this thread have taken my side. Many people would label me as the sensitive "Karen".

In my area, there's a law against recording people on their own property or recording their conversations without their knowledge. I can only record things on my property with the noise in the background. That's not super convincing evidence, especially for a news crew.

My neighbors know this. They're very careful about how things look to the outsiders.

I'm also pretty sure they have a police scanner so they can change their behavior before the police arrive.

As mentioned previously, I'm not looking for suggestions. I've literally heard every suggestion you've made hundreds of times. But my neighbors know all of this too.

I started the thread because this is a long, slow process that takes a lot of endurance. Sometimes I need to express my frustration about that.

That said, I'm working to up my game in terms of evidence. I bought a security camera and am trying to figure out how to get it going. It's taking a lot on the technical side, but I'm also having to figure out how to set up it because I'm sure my neighbor will find a way to retaliate.

 

[Rae]

I was told once when complaining about a person playing music loud to go and ask them to turn down the music. I think that would not work in your case as they might do bodily harm or worse. I wish something would make them stop.

 

[John cycling]

I've called the police on my back neighbor for noise ordinance violations that they are clearly violating where I have audio and decibel meter proof 16 times in the last 2 years. I didn't keep track in the years before that, but many times before that.

In my area, the noise ordinance is 24/7/365, You get 2 warnings, a handful of monetary fines, then jail. The problem is that the police have to catch them doing it for any of these to happen, but if they do, jail time is at the end. I would think the police would scare them more than anyone else.

I would type up your complaint, make an in person appointment with the police department, and make sure they fill out a written report that contains your complaint. In addition, you could file a written complaint with the city attorney's office. Then continue to follow up with them.

 

[caramel]

Another day destroyed by the neighbors. The day started out fine. The yelling started and the music started. But it wasn't at a horrible level. I thought they might actually stay within the limits. Then they stopped at 6:30 pm, and I thought that the holiday was over.

It wasn't. At 7:20 pm, they decided to blast the music louder than they had all day. It seemed so baffling to me. Why keep the level moderate all day just to wipe out all the effort at night? There's probably no reasoning with intoxicated people, but it seemed so odd to me.

Maybe they invited the new neighbor to their party and found the new neighbor was ok with the music, so they decided to blast away. If that's the case, I'm glad I reported it to the police because maybe the new neighbor will realize that I'm not ok with the blasting music too.

In any event, I called the police around 8 pm. The music stopped around 8:45 pm. I don't know if the police showed up, if the neighbors have a police scanner and saw it, or if the neighbors had just had enough for the night.

One more holiday ruined by obnoxious neighbors.

 

[caramel]

Another coincidence?

2 years ago when I started calling the police more consistently on my back neighbor, I got a handful of wrong number phone calls for a couple months on an unlisted number that I gave to some neighbors years ago that has never gotten wrong number phone calls before then or since then.

Until today. I got a scam phone call this morning for the first time since those other calls the day after I reported my back neighbor to the police.

That might sound like a paranoid thing to say if you hadn't experienced dozens of these types of "coincidences" right after a police call. All things that can't be proven and all juvenile.

Since my side neighbor and back neighbor are friends, it would happen in the front of my house as well. The day after a police call, some plants would show up in my yard. I'm sure if questioned, my side neighbor would say he was being nice, but the timing was so suspect. There might be a cable cover off or something misplaced or a pipe that had been turned on and off. There was always plausible deniability.

My old side neighbor was brazen about it. He made it plain that it was him but always with the charade that he was being a good neighbor because no one knew the timing except me.

That's why I refuse to meet my new neighbor. My old side neighbor could pretend that he was trying to be nice because we knew each other. I don't know my new neighbor. If weird things happen in my front yard, it's just straight trespass.

When I listed a few things like this to the police, the officer told me it sounds like they've made a game of trying to get to me. I agree. The only help he could provide was to ask me if I could not let it bother me.

That's pretty hard when the people doing it are trying to make it bother me and will up the stakes if they don't think it is.

 

[caramel]

My back neighbor spent the day drilling and pounding in the back yard. He's trying to find the perfect spot for his speakers to blast me out.

Many years ago, before I realized what a malicious sociopath my neighbor was, I told him that his music was giving me migraines and nausea. He told me, don't worry, I'll turn the speakers away from you, then he hung up. (Of course he was lying. He never turned the speakers away from me.)

Wait, what?! Why were his speakers turned toward me? Why wouldn't he turn the speakers toward his guests and his house? That's who wanted to hear the music.

It took me years and multiple police calls to figure out the answer to that. My back neighbor wanted to have his drug fueled parties in his back yard, and he didn't want the police to show up.

If he turned the speakers toward his house, the police would hear it when they showed up at his door. Then they might have probable cause to check his back yard and see the drug party.

If he turned the speakers toward the back of his house, the drug addict guests could hear the music, but the police couldn't hear the music from his front door. Then the police wouldn't have probable cause to do anything.

He also couldn't have the speakers turned toward too many neighbors because if several neighbors reported him, the police were more likely to investigate.

Turning the speakers toward the back of his house where I am, and terrorizing me to not call the police has been his strategy for all these years.

In order to do that, he needs to find the perfect placement for his stereo speakers for that to work. He spends whole days, sometimes several times a week, in order to achieve that. I also suspect that he's hiding things in his back yard, but that's another story.

 

[Paco Dennis]

Have you met this neighbor? Talked? What was the conversation like?

 

[gruntlabor]

Dream of the possibilities!!

Whoa, danger, Will Robinson! That's like murder or adultery. Dream long enough and eventually, you'll do it.

 

[caramel]

Have you met this neighbor? Talked? What was the conversation like?

He had an open house at his house over 20 years ago. I attended as a guest. As I walked into his living room, he put his arm around me in the most creepy, sleazy, slimy way possible and said, "I'm so sorry you need to live next to us."

I left.

Like every abuser, he was letting me know what he was going to do, taking pleasure in it.

 

[Paco Dennis]

I bet if you started making vids with your phone and capturing his outrageous behavior to show the cops it would help. Have you tried that?

 

[caramel]

I bet if you started making vids with your phone and capturing his outrageous behavior to show the cops it would help. Have you tried that?

In my area, it's illegal to video people on their property or tape people's conversations without their permission. My neighbor knows enough to make any interaction look legitimate on the surface.

He once left a note on my door when I was calling the police a lot. He invited me to his party like nothing was going on. He said that I could call if I was bothered by the noise. That's when I told him I was nauseated and got migraines from the noise.

He used that as an opportunity to make the noise louder and more nauseating. Since then, I try not to give him more information to use against me.

I do video and audio my property with decibel level readings with his noise in the background before every police report I make as evidence of it.

 

[Paco Dennis]

In my area, it's illegal to video people on their property or tape people's conversations without their permission. My neighbor knows enough to make any interaction look legitimate on the surface.

He once left a note on my door when I was calling the police a lot. He invited me to his party like nothing was going on. He said that I could call if I was bothered by the noise. That's when I told him I was nauseated and got migraines from the noise.

He used that as an opportunity to make the noise louder and more nauseating. Since then, I try not to give him more information to use against me.

I do video and audio my property with decibel level readings with his noise in the background before every police report I make as evidence of it.

Jeez...this sounds like it make a great thriller movie with a few script changes! It is nuts!! I am so sorry, but I can't think of anything to do but...MOVE!

 

[caramel]

I am so sorry, but I can't think of anything to do but...MOVE!

Easier said than done. When my side neighbor was selling his house last month, that was the quietest I've heard my back neighbor in over 20 years. That's because the side neighbor and the back neighbor were friends, and they knew that no one would buy the property if there was blasting noise behind it.

Even then, my side neighbor struggled to get a sale in a seller's market.

With blasting noise behind me every weekend, it would be hard to get a decent sale.

 

[Judycat]

When I had neighbor trouble, I put up with it for seven years and then filed a complaint with District Court. The local magistrate set up a time and date and sent them a subpoena. They were idiots during the hearing and the magistrate gave them an earful. It really helped bring me some peace. These jerks don't like the inconvenience of having to show up for court. Who knew?

 

[caramel]

Got 2 suggestions today. A woman suggested that I email my mayor. She seemed certain that would get the police to do something. I've heard that a couple times before. I'm considering it.

The other suggestion was a little more out of left field from an AI chatbot. It suggested I call the National Domestic Violence hotline, so I did. They only deal with intimate partners but they gave me the number for Victims Connect. They also couldn't help me until my neighbor does something violent.

I wish there was more information and support for people before the violence happens. I've talked to only a handful of people who have been through what I'm going through. The common thread I've noticed is a sense of terror that doesn't leave even after the neighbor is gone.

I needed to go out in the yard for something. I don't go out there almost ever for fear the neighbor would see me and start hassling me which is what he did before.

I didn't know he was out there because I didn't hear him. If people are talking at a reasonable level, I wouldn't be able to hear them from inside. The noise levels they put out on the weekends is unreasonable.

 

[hearlady]

caramel, I'm glad you started this thread so you can at least let your feelings out even if you can't change the situation.
You could try your local Division of Health and Human Services on Aging. They are advocates for senior citizens. They may not be able to stop the neighbors but they can give support and help you deal with the situation.

 

[gruntlabor]

caramel, I'm glad you started this thread so you can at least let your feelings out even if you can't change the situation.
You could try your local Division of Health and Human Services on Aging. They are advocates for senior citizens. They may not be able to stop the neighbors but they can give support and help you deal with the situation.

.. and creating this thread was a good idea too.

 

[caramel]

caramel, I'm glad you started this thread so you can at least let your feelings out even if you can't change the situation.
You could try your local Division of Health and Human Services on Aging. They are advocates for senior citizens. They may not be able to stop the neighbors but they can give support and help you deal with the situation.

Thanks! I appreciate the support of the people in the thread.

The downfall of a thread like this one is that some people read it like they're watching tv. (not anyone in particular, just generally) They want me to fix these problems with one simple step. It's so much more complicated than that because a lot of it is so stressful, having to deal with someone so retaliatory I also have to deal with the rest of my life. Some people have told me to just forget about this issue and just get on with my life. If I do that, besides getting woken up every day by my neighbor, he also will start to play his blasting music 18+ hours a day at levels that are unlivable in my house.

I have contacted the National Council on Aging. There's a line that I call that they sponsor. It's not very helpful, but it's a resource.

 

[caramel]

Back neighbor woke me up for the third day in a row. He's pounding something early in the morning. I was able to get back to sleep with some headphones.

I went outside to turn on the sprinklers in the front in the evening. Front neighbor's monkey kids were arguing and fighting in the garage. Then I see one of the monkey kids on the sidewalk in front of my yard. I started to watch him to see if he was going on my driveway. He ran home and must have called his parents, who came out. The father started violently throwing a ball to the ground, as if he was going to do something. I went inside. I'm tired of feeling intimidated.

Hopefully, my new side neighbor is nice and decent. I have all the crap neighbors I can handle at the moment.

 

[katlupe]

It sounds like a case of psychological elderly abuse to me. Look up the elderly abuse hotline for your state or area.

 

[Mobilman44]

I've had the same next door neighbors for 35 years. They are both rather small, but wiry in stature. They (esp the guy) have OCDs and I've seen them in action. The most annoying one is blowing the driveway. I have witnessed them blowing it 3 and 4 times a day, with a record of 5 times. The weather makes no difference, and more than a few times they will be out barefoot blowing in the rain or winds. Looking out my window, you can tell there is nothing to blow. The noise is loud, and they never wear ear protection. There are other things, but this is the most annoying for sure!