The Choices We Make

L

Lon

Well-known Member
Location
Central California
CHOICES It drives me nuts when I hear some people pass off so much blame to others and circumstances for certain problems they are having, when the real problem is more than likely choices they have made. We choose our spouses & friends. We choose how much we will pay for a car and what kind. Smoking, drinking, taking drugs are all choices that we make. Don't give me that crap about the enviormental reasons for making certain choices. Most personal bankruptcies are due to a whole series of bad choices (and selfish ones at that). Crime? Sure, the bleeding hearts will bring in the enviormental aspects, but it's still a choice that the criminal makes.
I have made some really bad choices and some good ones and am willing to accept full responsibility for both.
 

I think a big part of the trouble with society today is that no one ever takes responsibility for their own actions (choices). People always have someone else to blame -- I had a bad childhood, I'm poor, I was drunk, my parents didn't give me good guidance.

For instance, here a couple weeks ago some teenagers (17-ish) killed a man basically for the fun of it. They said they had bad guidance at home. Maybe so, but their actions are still their own responsibility, as I doubt no one forced them to decide to kill the man.
 
We choose our decent upstanding spouses ..yep, we have children, yep...but unless we have super powers we don't know that spouse might further down the line be abusive, or an addict ..or be a philanderer...( bad luck)..

We choose our jobs based on our age, abilities and availability ..bad management, bullying in the workplace, ...choice to stay or go when there's no other work available for you to feed your family ( bad luck)


We choose to eat healthy, take exercise, drive carefully, obey all the rules and then some drugged up, drunk driver crashes into us and we're now paraplegic or dead...hmmm...choice?...nope... BAD freakin'....LUCK!!!!
 
  • Like
Reactions: imp
Lara said:
I was just thinking that it's you're birthday today and you should be happy…then I remembered one of my favorite quotes:

"One of my main regrets in life is giving considerable thought to inconsiderate people" ~ Jarod Kintz

So "shake it off" and have a great day, Lon. Watch this and smile:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLyENFu4n5g
Click to expand...

I am quite happy Lara--------Did you think I was unhappy because of my post on CHOICES?

Things pop into my mind and I post them.
 
Yes, I thought you were on a bit of a rant. In your first sentence you said people were driving you nuts and something about bleeding hearts. That's the problem with the written word versus face to face. But still, it gave me a chance to share some smiles with you…did you like the video and the quote? Glad you're having a Happy Birthday Lon. Was just making sure :)
 
Some "Choices" are bad, but the only ones available at the time and under the specific circumstances.. SO.. I've made some bad ones, but I have been able to look back and see the reasons for them... I makes me a little more forgiving of myself.
 
hollydolly said:
We choose our decent upstanding spouses ..yep, we have children, yep...but unless we have super powers we don't know that spouse might further down the line be abusive, or an addict ..or be a philanderer...( bad luck)..

We choose our jobs based on our age, abilities and availability ..bad management, bullying in the workplace, ...choice to stay or go when there's no other work available for you to feed your family ( bad luck)


We choose to eat healthy, take exercise, drive carefully, obey all the rules and then some drugged up, drunk driver crashes into us and we're now paraplegic or dead...hmmm...choice?...nope... BAD freakin'....LUCK!!!!
Click to expand...

I still don't believe in either good or bad luck. Choices were made in each of the situations you describe that brought about what you call bad luck. The spouse may turn out to be abusive, but it was a choice by his wife to marry him. It was a bad choice not bad luck.
 
Lon said:
I still don't believe in either good or bad luck. Choices were made in each of the situations you describe that brought about what you call bad luck. The spouse may turn out to be abusive, but it was a choice by his wife to marry him. It was a bad choice not bad luck.
Click to expand...

You've been a lucky boy in spite of your thinking everything is choice. Black or white but never grey, eh Lon?
 
I think a big part of the trouble with society today is that no one ever takes responsibility for their own actions (choices). People always have someone else to blame
Click to expand...

Butterfly, you said a mouthful. :)

They blame others or they have all kinds of excuses.

I have a sister and also a brother who never, ever admit wrongdoing or take responsibility. OTOH a different brother and myself will freely admit that we could have made better choices in a few areas. We thought we had good reasons at the time, but no one else is to blame.
 
There is no doubt that there are people who blame their circumstances on outside factors when in fact the choices they have made however small or large are largely to blame, but as Jim so rightly said everything is not Black or white...there are many shades of grey in between.
 
I so agree, holly. I think it's time people stop blaming themselves or anyone else for things that didn't work out. We make decisions based on the information we have at the time and use the tools we have. No one is perfect or psychic to know what we or someone will do in the future or what can go wrong. Mistakes happen. That's all they are -- mistakes. Life is random -- even if we do everything perfectly by the book, something can come in from somewhere and mess everything up. I've seen it happen more than once to those who think they really are doing it all right, and boy were they shocked!
 
I think our choices are limited or possibly predetermined by circumstances. If I had been born into a wealthy family instead of a poor farm family, my life choices would have been vastly different.

If a black kid is born into a bad neighborhood, his choices will be vastly different than one born into a middle class family in a good neighborhood.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Red
Shirley said:
I think our choices are limited or possibly predetermined by circumstances. If I had been born into a wealthy family instead of a poor farm family, my life choices would have been vastly different.

If a black kid is born into a bad neighborhood, his choices will be vastly different than one born into a middle class family in a good neighborhood.
Click to expand...

Gotta disagree with you somewhat, Shirley. There are many people (various races) born into poor families who go on to be quite successful, and there are many middle-cass or wealthy kids (various races) who ended up as criminals or otherwise didn’t amount to a hill of beans.
 
Shirley said:
I think our choices are limited or possibly predetermined by circumstances. If I had been born into a wealthy family instead of a poor farm family, my life choices would have been vastly different.

If a black kid is born into a bad neighborhood, his choices will be vastly different than one born into a middle class family in a good neighborhood.
Click to expand...

The black kid still has many choices to make that will impact his life forever. Stay in school and learn. Keep off drugs and don't sell them. Choose black friends with worthy goals and ambition. Shirley, there are many many examples of blacks that have been able to rise above their rotten environment because of the good choices they made.
 
AZ Jim said:
You've been a lucky boy in spite of your thinking everything is choice. Black or white but never grey, eh Lon?
Click to expand...

Jim --I can trace any part of my life that you might consider I was lucky and trace it instead to a choice that I made.

Right & Wrong Black Or White Same o Same o
 
Shirley said:
I think our choices are limited or possibly predetermined by circumstances. If I had been born into a wealthy family instead of a poor farm family, my life choices would have been vastly different.

If a black kid is born into a bad neighborhood, his choices will be vastly different than one born into a middle class family in a good neighborhood.
Click to expand...

Exactly. The idea that we totally control by "choice" is laughable.
 
But he or she has to be educated and told about the choices. If you have never seen or heard another way of living, how can you know the choices? If all you see is druggies and prostitutes, how will you know about how to live a better life? I know there are exceptions but they are the lucky ones.

There have been a couple of times when I have been able to influence a young person to a better way to live. I wish there was some way we could get a message to all of them.
 
AZ Jim said:
Exactly. The idea that we totally control by "choice" is laughable.
Click to expand...

The black kid still has many choices to make that will impact his life forever. Stay in school and learn. Keep off drugs and don't sell them. Choose black friends with worthy goals and ambition. Shirley, there are many many examples of blacks that have been able to rise above their rotten environment because of the good choices they made.
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top