The Choices We Make

[hollydolly]

And the same from me Oldman...not many people get a second chance and grab it with both hands...kudos to you for being wise enough to do that at such a young age..

 

[Warrigal]

I do believe in freedom of choice. There are pivotal points in our lives when choosing well makes a momentous difference to our futures. This is true independently of our circumstances. They are essentially moments when our strength of character is tested. Oldman, you made the right choice but so did your father even though he had no guarantee of a good outcome.

 

[Kadee]

Gotta disagree with you somewhat, Shirley. There are many people (various races) born into poor families who go on to be quite successful, and there are many middle-cass or wealthy kids (various races) who ended up as criminals or otherwise didn’t amount to a hill of beans.

Almost two weeks ago a very well educated, world traveled 26 year old man sneaked into his parents home at two in the morning and stabbed his father in the back several times , killing him...He was a coach for a top AFL football team in Adelaide

 

[Shalimar]

Exactly, Kadee! Did he choose to be mentally ill? Hardly. People, for all the choices in the world, sometimes life is a crapshoot, just ask any of the ritually abused children I grew up with. Oh, wait a minute, you can't, those kids/ young adults are all dead except for me, their choices were nonexistent/ irrelevant.Relentless positivism has it's place, but falls apart in the face of horror. Unless you have been there, motivational theories around personal responsibility fall short. Sometimes all a person can do is survive. Many of us would have loved the option to be normal healthy human beings, masters/mistresses of our fate. That is not always possible. I am a functioning member of society, who has dedicated her life to easing in however minute a fashion, the emotional suffering of others. That said, even with all the positive choices I have made, my fierce commitment to personal growth, and living an authentic life with my heart open, I will always have a hole in my soul. All the self-determination in the world will never undo the damage incurred during the childhood from hell. Do I blame those monsters who raped and tortured my body and soul, and almost destroyed me for most of the difficulties I have and continue to face? You bet I do. A different scenario would have produced a different woman. There are many kinds of disadvantaged upbringing. My family of origin was not physically poor, but in all other ways, deprivation was pervasive. It is easy to point fingers when one has the privilege of safety, and some small semblance of a sane environment. Many through no fault of their own do not. Perhaps we should reach out our hands in loving compassion, rather than sternly pointing the finger. Realistically, my present survival/accomplishments have more to do with the compassion of strangers than my capacity to yank myself up by my bootstraps. C'est tout, c'est fini.