How is your day Today, plans and achievements 2024....

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Jules said:
@hollydolly, I’m glad you have a strong-willed, intelligent daughter to stand by you. As she isn’t related to him, you can tell her anything you want. I couldn’t tell my DDs anything when lies were being told. Sometimes the one person has no one to discuss this with.
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I am glad of her , she's a very calming influence.. and much more intelligent than me.. so she sees things in a much clearer perspective, at first glance, whereas I would have to read complicated papers several times before full understanding what's occurring. She has no experience of the law, but she can see exactly where lawyers (mine) would tear these accusations to ribbons... and she also gave me a few pointers this evening as to questions I should be asking my own lawyer before replying to the viscous emails today from his representatives..
 
His lies are just a distraction to get you to stop @hollydolly. Doesn't seem by your description his claims have any legal weight when it comes to his avoidance revealing his finances. Just trying to change direction, shake you up. He hates you, you hate him. You won't crumble, you're made of strong stuff.
 

Pepper said:
His lies are just a distraction to get you to stop @hollydolly. Doesn't seem by your description his claims have any legal weight when it comes to his avoidance revealing his finances. He hates you, you hate him. You won't crumble, you're made of strong stuff.
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See I don't hate him... I hate what he did to me.. I hate what he continues to do.. but I don't hate him. I never wanted our marriage to end.. this is all his doing..

I would never have him back.. and that itself is a heartbreak for me.. because I expected to be married to him all our lives... but having seen what he's capable of since his affair, I couldn't possibly even ever consider having him in my life again..I'd have to be given a frontal lobotomy

In my own sense of fair play in everything, I expect the same from other people... and most of all I expected it from him despite his cheating and lying in the past.... this is what is upsetting me the most.
 
hollydolly said:
and she also gave me a few pointers this evening as to questions I should be asking my own lawyer before replying to the viscous emails today from his representatives..
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Do you have to reply directly to him. What happens if you don’t reply. That’s a tough situation. If you answer, never reply in anger. Write it and re-read it in the morning before you push send. He’s played his game of making you wait.

That 7,000 make it sound like he’s trying to make you satisfied that anything you get is a win.
 
Jules said:
Do you have to reply directly to him. What happens if you don’t reply. That’s a tough situation. If you answer, never reply in anger. Write it and re-read it in the morning before you push send. He’s played his game of making you wait.

That 7,000 make it sound like he’s trying to make you satisfied that anything you get is a win.
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No I reply to his Legal representatives.. all correspondence is through them... but all mails they send to me are what he's told them...

yes exactly about the 7k.... .. however , after I received this latest correspondence, I immediately contacted my lawyer.. this was after hours, and she sent me an email saying that I need now to take him to court.. which is something we were hoping to avoid because it's very costly.. and we just thought that going through the no fault divorce route he would pay what the law deems appropriate and that is 50 % of all assets... this has now become obvious that's not going to happen so we need now to have a Judge preside over the Divorce.

My lawyer will mail me in the morning with the likely cost.

I'm absolutely furious that I am now going to have to pay ( or maybe not if I can't afford it) when in fact I am the ''victim'' in this whole scenario... if in fact I can't afford the court case, I'm left with having to accept his offer....
 
Don't you have the two properties to hold over him? I would think you are both entitled to half the value of those homes as they would be considered "matrimonial dwellings". If that's the case, could your lawyer not say to his lawyers; " you're not getting half of anything until your client comes clean with his finances and is willing to split that by half as well?
 
MrPants said:
Don't you have the two properties to hold over him? I would think you are both entitled to half the value of those homes as they would be considered "matrimonial dwellings". If that's the case, could your lawyer not say to his lawyers; " you're not getting half of anything until your client comes clean with his finances and is willing to split that by half as well?
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he's not entitled to my house, I bought this house long before I met him... he otoh bought his Luxury penthouse apartment within 12 weeks of leaving here.... using draw down from his pensions..to install his new g/f...
 
Jules said:
Holly, as a very wise person said to me once. “You may not be able to afford to, but you can’t afford to not.”

He’s counting on you thinking that you can’t or won’t spend the money.
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Exactly what my daughter said.... she even said mum...even if you have to spend all your savings .. and even if you end up with him having to sell that property and you only get a minimal amount from it's sale... it will be worth it just to let him suffer for all that he's done to you..

..and I'm going to tell you, my daughter is the least judgemental person I know... she will always see both sides of the coin, even when it comes to me... but she's watched over the years how he treated me, and now adding salt to the wound ... and she just says what she feels is the least he deserves...
 
Sorry guys while I'm on the pity pot.. please indulge me in just one more whine...

The thing about all this is, when it all rears it's ugly head like this..I can't sleep, I sit up all night, then get a very little nightmare filled sleep in the mornings.. and of course because of that I have real trouble having a clear head to deal with legal issues... ..

However if I can afford to pay for full representation from my lawyer.. hopefully I won't have to do anything after that...
 
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Georgiagranny said:
@hollydolly You really gotta wonder about why on earth he'd bother with the accusations in a no-fault divorce. (You don't really gotta wonder about the lies re his finances, though.)

I'd give you a whole buncha hugs if the system would let me. Oh. Here. Here are more🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
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he used it as an excuse in the paperwork as to the reason why he bought the apartment.. ''needed somewhere to live very quickly as I feared for my life living in the marital home''....
 
Today I was on a mission to find a pool to swim in. Plan A failed but plan B didn’t.
The 25 metre pool is not open now. It’s part of a schools curriculum. When school over, the pool is closed. It opens back up in September. They recommended golf course indoor pool and it was open and will be open until October. It doesn’t seem like it’s used often. I had the whole pool to myself. I can’t believe I’m doing this. Last year at this time I was scared to death to leave the house.The swim was fabulous. Life can be wonderful.
note: the swim was great for my arm.
 
hollydolly said:
Agreed..this is what my lawyer says too
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When my mother was getting divorced, her attorney (my friend) said my father (who could be quite endearing) said to him, "I'm really not such a bad guy, am I?" The attorney replied, "You seem like a nice guy to me. But then again, you're not my spouse, or my father."

Attorneys and judges are used to false fronts. They see them every day so they're not easily taken in.

p.s. That attorney had a father who was a real AH to him growing up, but if you asked others they'd have said he was a wonderful father. Nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors.
 

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