Many Women Will Never See Justice in This Lifetime

If one freely can choose to be sterilized, then later regrets their decision is no business of anyone but s/he. If they suffer regret, regret is part of life. Adult choices such as this should be their own decision, period.
 

VaughanJB said:
True, but far too often it's used as an excuse for bad behavior.

Research was via Maury.
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Right, there are types of contraception these days that have a failure rate of less than one in a thousand. Condoms are not one of them, which is why I think women are foolish to ever count on the man for birth control.

If she wants to be 100% safe she can use a chemical method like the pill combined with a barrier method at the time.

With a little more responsibility on the woman's part, unwanted pregnancy would be a very rare thing.
 
Della said:
Right, there are types of contraception these days that have a failure rate of less than one in a thousand. Condoms are not one of them, which is why I think women are foolish to ever count on the man for birth control.

If she wants to be 100% safe she can use a chemical method like the pill combined with a barrier method at the time.

With a little more responsibility on the woman's part, unwanted pregnancy would be a very rare thing.
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But the failure rate for the pill is about 9%. Even with an IUD it’s about 1%.

The only method 100% perfect is abstinence. I suppose there will be an Abstinence PAC promoting next, if there isn’t one already. (I’m wondering how many men will donate money to that PAC?)
 
"you said you thought they were victims…"

In my original post I stated this: Title: Many Women Will Not See Justice in This Lifetime I know it’s for certain in my own life, but I will not go into detail here. But what say you, overall, about the predicament of women in American society, especially single moms? (I left out the question mark.) Life going peachy and without prejudice for them as a group? I sure don’t see that.

I said “especially single moms” may not see justice in this lifetime. I did not say, “All single moms are victims of a ruthlessly cruel political system."

I do not believe that. But I sure do believe some of them have been - they have done twice as much, maybe four to five times as much actual physical and mental work as men, and our system does not recognize them for that, nor does it compensate them for that work.

That’s the kind of justice I’m referring to: equal pay for equal work and if she did more than, for argument’s sake, the fathers of her child(ren), she should get paid extra for that too.

But, it will never happen, so on we go.
 
carouselsilver said:
I don't believe that anyone meant to trash the male species here.

I was a single mom, and I made my own way with my child. The state went after her father for child support, but they also said that if he paid it, that he was entitled to visitation rights. We had both barely escaped with our lives from his abuse, but they wanted us to endanger our safety in order to receive money from him. I had to forfeit the child support.

Yes, there is a lot that isn't fair, but somehow we survived it.
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I raised my son mostly as a single mom too. His father couldn't stay away from trouble and wound up spending most of his adult life in prison. Once I kicked him out because I knew he had gotten back into that life (after promising he wouldn't) I wanted nothing more to do with him and didn't want him around our son. The judge was surprised when I didn't ask for child support during the divorce proceedings (which my ex did not show up for). Sometimes I wonder WTH those who are supposed to be protecting us are thinking! I'm glad you escaped that horrible situation and survived. You're obviously a strong woman.

Re the OP: Women aren't the only ones who don't get justice. There are many men in this world who don't get it either, especially men of color. I feel sorry for women who aren't strong enough to stand up for themselves and demand what they deserve. There are so many reasons that some do not; often having to do with upbringing. conditioning and that stubborn glass ceiling. Also, too many women are not taken seriously when they report rapes and other forms of abuse. Often they are victimized again by police and the courts. I think that is changing...at least I hope so.
 
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Women have a problem with “dammed if you do…dammed if you dont”. This is demonstrated by the thread about people choosing to not have children. Some thought that was “selfish”. Here…you get pregnant and it seems to be about poor decision making. Parents want their kids to be married before sex. Half those marriages end in divorce. I think women (and this includes teen children) should always be aware that pregnancy, birth, marriage, all have potential negative impact on life. Plan accordingly. Get educated. Be independent. Develop a thick skin. Learn to make decisions you stand hy.
 
VintageBetter said:
But the failure rate for the pill is about 9%. Even with an IUD it’s about 1%.

The only method 100% perfect is abstinence. I suppose there will be an Abstinence PAC promoting next, if there isn’t one already. (I’m wondering how many men will donate money to that PAC?)
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Quick Google search says:
  • Implant
    0.05 percent
    Approved for up to 3 years of use
  • IUD
    0.2 to 0.8 percent
    Hormonal approved for up to 3 to 8 years of use; copper approved for up to 10 years of use.
 
Muskrat said:
@Della …i have two very good friends who had birth control babies. These were women who knew how to use what they were prescribed. Crap happens.
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I didn't say it never happens, but that it should be rare.


In 1950 the rate of unmarried births was 3.9 %
In 1980 it was 18%
In 1990 it was 28
In 2022, 39.8%

This is the biggest, fastest societal change in recorded history. It is the primary contributing factor for our overflowing prisons, poverty, crime, homelessness and food insecurity for children.
 
  • 85% of youths in prison come from fatherless homes
  • 71% of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes
  • 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes
  • Nearly 25 million children live without their biological father
  • 60% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes
 
VaughanJB said:
True. Single parent mothers are having to take responsibility for bad choices. I know that sounds harsh, and I know some men fail to step up. However, biologically, the woman is always the one paying a higher price. I wish they all made better decisions about when to have a child, and whom to have a child with. I'm sure it's a hard life, but in the end it's a life chosen.
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Apologies if I am going way off topic but when we are talking about men and women and pregnancies we are also talking about babies and children.

My thinking is that from an early age boys and girls are socialised differently. Little pressure is applied to boys to marry early and to raise children. In my day the pressure on girls was huge in this regard. There was shame in becoming pregnant out of wedlock and paradoxically scorn for wanting to have a career that required years of study and long hours at work.

My mother expected me to marry and have children but she encouraged me to study and become a teacher because, should I become widowed, I could return to work with sociable hours, good pay and school holidays. As it turned out I did become pregnant out of wedlock but and Hubby and I married and with family support, we formed a strong union that lasted 61 years. it could easily have been otherwise. "There but for the grace of God...."

Things began to change for my daughter's generation but the burden of childrearing still fell on the mothers, married or not. Women with strong, supportive families were better off than women who were isolated from friends, family and culture. They, and their children, needed support from society at large, including financial assistance. It makes no sense to abandon them, blaming them for their plight.

Why write off the potential of any child to contribute fully to society because their parents are poor or because they are children being raised by a single parent struggling to be both mother, father and bread winner? Nonjudgmental assistance, given as a human right, can make a huge difference to the young.

If things had turned out differently I could have been a child without a father. He survived the war in New Guinea so I was lucky. We never judge the children whose fathers die in the service of their country but we do judge some children for the decisions of their parents. In both cases, the children have no say about their circumstances and may need help to thrive. Some need food programs, others may need scholarships. What they don't need is to ostracised for something that is not their fault.

IMO, the saying that it takes a village to raise a child also applies to the nation as a whole.
 
Warrigal said:
Am I to understand that US still has conscription for men?
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Registration is required, the draft can be reactivated at any time.
Failure to register with Selective Service is a violation of the Military Selective Service Act. Conviction for such a violation may result in imprisonment for up to five years and/or a fine of not more than $250,000.
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A national emergency, exceeding the Department of Defense's capability to recruit and retain its total force strength, requires Congress to amend the Military Selective Service Act to authorize the President to induct personnel into the Armed Forces.
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Having read 4 out of the 5 pages so far I find this thread both triggering and thought provoking.
My mother became a widow in 1950's England, as a Kiwi she returned to NZ. 1950's NZ was an ultra conservative place (conservative in a 1950's context), life wasn't easy she clearly wasn't a war widow. Men used to hit on her regularly, she was was lucky and found a good man who had lost his fiance earlier. He was 'my old man' who I remember with affection.
I have the utmost respect for all single parents who put their children first.
 
January said:
And when victims go to the police - and within the time frame for morning after pill.

We all know rape is under reported.
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Yes but per this topic women who decide not to report it can go to the drugstore and get the morning after pill for themselves.

Warrigal said:
They, and their children, needed support from society at large, including financial assistance. It makes no sense to abandon them, blaming them for their plight.
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I agree with this 100%. We must support unmarried mothers for the sake of the children and never blame the children for their plight. No one here has suggested abandoning them.

If I seem to be judgmental of the single mothers (I repeat I am not talking about widowed and divorced) when I post those statistics it's not my intention. Facts are not judgmental.

However, I do think in repeatedly telling the mothers how brave and wonderful they are, we have neglected the children who are the truly innocent in this societal change.

In our rants about justice for women where is any mention about justice for the children? Is it fair that almost half of children have no fathers at home while they look around at their classmates and the families they see on TV and know that most of the other children do have fathers?

The impact on boys is particularly hard and leaves them vulnerable to seeking role models from older boys who are gang members and other questionable sources. It's why so many end up in prison.

Why? Why did the single mother rate go from 4 to 40 percent? Why are the tax payers having to support all these families that the husbands once supported? Why did women give up the control of the family structure that they had held for thousands of years? Why are all these children growing up in insecure situations?
 
Della said:
Is it fair that almost half of children have no fathers at home while they look around at their classmates and the families they see on TV and know that most of the other children do have fathers?
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well that seems a contradiction - if almost half dont have fathers at home then the most of their classmates who do would be only just over half, so no big deal about being in either half.

Certainly families on TV seem more diversely shown now and rightly so - not just the idealised every family is a traditional nuclear family that once was the TV case.

I think children can understand families come in different ways - that isnt a hard concept to grasp.
 
Della said:
Why? Why did the single mother rate go from 4 to 40 percent? Why are the tax payers having to support all these families that the husbands once supported? Why did women give up the control of the family structure that they had held for thousands of years? Why are all these children growing up in insecure situations?
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Because women are not trapped in bad relationships.

Because we no longer endorse shotgun weddings.

Because women are not coerced into giving up children for adoption

Because women can earn their own money and support themselves.

Tax payers are supporting some single parent families - some 2 parent families too.

All these children? - Not all children in single parent families are in insecure situations - and some 2 parent ones are.
 
Della said:
Yes but per this topic women who decide not to report it can go to the drugstore and get the morning after pill for themselves.


I agree with this 100%. We must support unmarried mothers for the sake of the children and never blame the children for their plight. No one here has suggested abandoning them.

If I seem to be judgmental of the single mothers (I repeat I am not talking about widowed and divorced) when I post those statistics it's not my intention. Facts are not judgmental.

However, I do think in repeatedly telling the mothers how brave and wonderful they are, we have neglected the children who are the truly innocent in this societal change.

In our rants about justice for women where is any mention about justice for the children? Is it fair that almost half of children have no fathers at home while they look around at their classmates and the families they see on TV and know that most of the other children do have fathers?

The impact on boys is particularly hard and leaves them vulnerable to seeking role models from older boys who are gang members and other questionable sources. It's why so many end up in prison.

Why? Why did the single mother rate go from 4 to 40 percent? Why are the tax payers having to support all these families that the husbands once supported? Why did women give up the control of the family structure that they had held for thousands of years? Why are all these children growing up in insecure situations?
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Good questions but I have no answers. What I do know is that my country has a big problem involving domestic violence. Women are being killed by intimate partners at an alarming rate*. They are most vulnerable when they finally decide to leave an abusive relationship. Fear causes many to keep the abuse a secret because if the police knock on the door, it only increases the violence.

So, I have some why questions as well.

Why do men turn on their partners and physically abuse them?
Why are women's shelters so scarce when this is a growing problem?
Why is domestic violence, abbreviated to DV, not called assault and battery?

* It was bad enough when Australian women were dying at the hand of an intimate partner at the rate of one per week but the rate is now one every four days.
 

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