Anyone joined a dating site what are your experiences?

[Pinky]

Women seem to post glamour photos on the dating sites, and men post photos of their hot car or big house. Not many seem to focus on anything more, from what I've seen.

A woman friend of mine joined a dating site. She met a few men, none of who were particularly compatible.

On the other hand, my eldest nephew and his wife met on a dating site, and have been together for over a decade.

 

[David777]

...Disappointed... it is hard at this age... It can be a good thing but like you said...don't know who you are meeting etc. Scary

Indeed, how can one trust who they are meeting on dating sites given significant numbers of liars and excessively seks oriented in this era? Well not everyone is a mystery. We who are very public need to be careful and protective. There are more IMO, disgusting, cheating, lying, untrustable, unethical, immoral, people out there in the social world than ever, with most preferring to conveniently hide their past. Wealth, attractiveness, and public celebrity have little true value filtering those out as we read daily in scandalous news.

That is a minor reason I'm on this board because I can always point people to this and a couple other important boards I frequent that can clearly show the kind of positive trustable person I am. Also have a bullet proof presence on Linkedin that reflects the generally high quality of people I associated with in my long career. Also have a prominent old website I've fully HTML manually coded that I can point any strangers to that reflects my intelligence and interpersonal skills that will filter away those that are looking for the foolish and unwise. Even fools are afraid of playing games with wise and intelligent others. Also have an impressive Youtube video presence where others can see what I truly look like and my fitness.

So I'm a public open book (though pragmatically hidden herein) and have been so for many years, whenever I decide to let anyone know me face to face more. On the other hand, a majority of people have no public presence and not a few would be embarrassed if they did. There are a few men that have posted on this board, that nice women if they read some of the posts they've made would probably never want to meet them.

 

[hollydolly]

"Creep rejection" should be an ongoing practice.
Creeps aren't that hard to find. They identify swiftly and quite obviously.

Smart ladies can find good company of both sexes in various senior ACTIVITY forums.

My joining a widowed support group was the best thing I ever did to recover from the awful shock of losing a partner of 47 years.

Poker nights, dances, dinners, group trips!

Creeps show themselves pretty quickly in those situations.

I even had a lady ask if she could squeeze into our bunch and my small car to ride home from Tahoe without the creep she rode in with.
Kinda funny, but prety darn obvious what he was.

It's a learning curve and it starts out fast.

you're fortunate that you have these kind of activities going on for seniors ... we have nothing like that in this area...

 

[hollydolly]

Women seem to post glamour photos on the dating sites, and men post photos of their hot car or big house. Not many seem to focus on anything more, from what I've seen.

A woman friend of mine joined a dating site. She met a few men, none of who were particularly compatible.

On the other hand, my eldest nephew and his wife met on a dating site, and have been together for over a decade.

I wonder if the older people are looking for spark immediately in one or 2 dates. instead of a slow burn ... whereas the younger ones are prepared to just go along having fun and being friends and see where it leads..

 

[hollydolly]

Indeed, how can one trust who they are meeting on dating sites given significant numbers of liars and excessively seks oriented in this era? Well not everyone is a mystery. We who are very public need to be careful and protective. There are more IMO, disgusting, cheating, lying, untrustable, unethical, immoral, people out there in the social world than ever, with most preferring to conveniently hide their past. Wealth, attractiveness, and public celebrity have little true value filtering those out as we read daily in scandalous news.

That is a minor reason I'm on this board because I can always point people to this and a couple other important boards I frequent that can clearly show the kind of positive trustable person I am. Also have a bullet proof presence on Linkedin that reflects the generally high quality of people I associated with in my long career. Also have a prominent old website I've fully HTML manually coded that I can point any strangers to that reflects my intelligence and interpersonal skills that will filter away those that are looking for the foolish and unwise. Even fools are afraid of playing games with wise and intelligent others. Also have an impressive Youtube video presence where others can see what I truly look like and my fitness.

So I'm a public open book (though pragmatically hidden herein) and have been so for many years, whenever I decide to let anyone know me face to face more. On the other hand, a majority of people have no public presence and not a few would be embarrassed if they did. There are a few men that have posted on this board, that nice women if they read some of the posts they've made would probably never want to meet them.

boy oh boy...you can say that again...

 

[Uncle Bozo]

you're fortunate that you have these kind of activities going on for seniors ... we have nothing like that in this area...

Unfortunately (in my thinking) Meetup.com was a poor name for the site.
Too many think it is ....HOOKUP.COM...
Far far from the truth.
They are pretty widespread and can be found by location.

The activities are posted on whichever one fits with you.

At first I was reluctant but ended up joining the Dining Out, Bocce, Single Seniors, and a couple I can't recall right now.

What is Meetup and how does it work?


Meetup creates possibilities to find and build local communities. People use Meetup to meet new people, learn new things, find support, get out of their comfort zones, and pursue their passions, together.

 

[Uncle Bozo]

I wonder if the older people are looking for spark immediately in one or 2 dates. instead of a slow burn ... whereas the younger ones are prepared to just go along having fun and being friends and see where it leads..

One or 2 dates can reveal quite a bit.
Of course, as a pawnbroker I developed a pretty instant "creep" recognition instinct.

 

[BeefStu]

I didn't officially "join" any dating sites but I did accidentally register with one. It wasn't advertised as a "dating site". I thought by the description that it was going to be something similar to this forum. It was maybe a day or two before I realized different.
I very quickly unsubscribed.
I wasn't ready at that time to date and to be honest I don't know if I ever will be. I have lived a good portion of my life alone and I know that I like my own company. Not to say that I don't need people in my life. If that was the case I wouldn't be here. I have family and friends that are quite willing to visit and talk with when I, or they feel the need to.
I'm not ruling out relationships. If it happens, it happens.

 

[MsTenacity]

I'm considering joining a Senior dating site for over 60's.. ..it's not that I want to find a long term relationship... I would just like to find a casual friend basically... Nowdays there's no going down the pub or to a dance hall and meeting a guy like we did in our youth.. and now o/h's been gone almost 2 years it's time for me to start thinking about having a bit of a life before I get too much older... but I have no experience of dating sites per se.. except for some of the horror stories you read about people meeting weirdos and potential axe murderers...

So.. has anyone joined a dating site.. what were your experiences.. and thoughts..

I joined Facebook dating and it was horrible. Otherwise you have to pay a lot on other sites and it seems to be more a get together and get intimate site than find someone to talk to first before all that stuff. So I quit and am waiting for my life to open up a space so someone can come in and we can meet. Hippie Souls Never Die.

 

[dilettante]

It's a long process with many false starts, but I agree that "dating apps" aren't worth your effort. No need to reiterate the problems.

Even the traditional path is fraught with hazards though. With age expectations can diverge quite a lot and as a guy I found that you can invest a lot of time, emotion, and money before finally waking up and walking away. I'm not saying it can't work out, but you have to slay a lot of dragons these days before you'll find a princess.

 

[Uncle Bozo]

It's a long process with many false starts, but I agree that "dating apps" aren't worth your effort. No need to reiterate the problems.

Even the traditional path is fraught with hazards though. With age expectations can diverge quite a lot and as a guy I found that you can invest a lot of time, emotion, and money before finally waking up and walking away. I'm not saying it can't work out, but you have to slay a lot of dragons these days before you'll find a princess.

Not exactly true. My experience/s were very good. Took some management and effort, but I found my 2nd life partner and it turned out well.
Sure, I bought Starbucks for 32 potentials and winnowed them down very well.

I am glad I did it.

 

[Brookswood]

Women seem to post glamour photos on the dating sites, and men post photos of their hot car or big house. Not many seem to focus on anything more, from what I've seen.

I disagree. Women tend to post pictures of their cats. I do not want to date their cat. Or dog. Or any of their pets.

When I was on a dating site, I posted photos that showed my faults. Bald, big ears that stick out, big nose, ect. I never mentioned my financial situation other than I could pay my own way. And expected them to be able to do the same. Not necessarily have to all the time but would be able to do so.

 

[MsLaroux]

Thanks folks... I'm not altogether stupid.. I hope.. I do realise that caution is the watchword.. first meetings away from home in the daytime, and just for a short time, for a coffee and chat.. also don't give out any personal details

I've seen some of these guys on the dating sites.. and some of them would scare me off just looking at them or reading their Bio...

I did a little test ad a few months ago..... I wanted to get a feel for the reactions of various people on those sites.. .. I put a small ad on with Basic details, but my profile photo was just the back of me.. facing away from the camera... there was several genuine enquires.. but I was stunned by the 4 guys who were extremely abusive.. !

Immediately I thought, that those guys would be ones to stay well clear of.. but the innocent women who met up with them wouldn't have any clue about that dark side of those men..

I haven't replied to any of those ads.. it was just a test... and I may not go with that dating site when or if I put a real ad on..... anyway,

... but it just goes to show just how easy it is to be fooled into meeting a psycho..

And did it cost you to do this research? Women paying to look at men...

 

[MsLaroux]

Did a great reply but got rejected too.

Give me a vintage hippie guy with a dragon to hover outside my 6th floor balcony and chat lots before I climb on for a ride.

West coast Canada people cold and unwelcoming to seniors.


Only young may find dates.

 

[hollydolly]

And did it cost you to do this research? Women paying to look at men...

No it was a free site....

 

[Terri]

I tried a dating site a few times and did meet several nice ladies through it, but none of them worked out for me. Mea culpa.

It was mainly my fault not wanting a deep or physical relationship and certainly not to get married again. Once was enough!

I'm closing in on my 69th birthday and a grandfather, so now I really don't want to get back to the young guy I once was. How?
Ironically I still ride my motorcycle keep fit, as best I can.

 

[Brookswood]

Thanks CS...yes oddly that site that I signed up to with the test AD, also were sending me those same notifications..so and so has left a comment.. etc... but I'd never gone through with the whole registration, hadn't paid any money to be able to reply to those people even if they had left a comment..

Equally the one site I was going to sign up to today insisted on a full face photo.. ok..fair enough.. but they also Insisted on a FULL BODY picture.. why ?.. that was a red flag to me so I've decided not to register with that one..

I see nothing wrong with wanting a modest full body photo. Physical attraction is a. Very personal thing. I’ve been rejected many time for being bald, my big ears, and other undesirable physical attributes. why waste your time? Of course, those who are too fussy often lose out on some very good catches.

 

[spookycat]

I joined several singles-oriented groups on Facebook. Seems there are lots of members but no activity for the most part. No surprise there, but it is disappointing.

 

[Fyrefox]

What gets me are the pop-up ads I sometimes get that tell me that Asian, Mexican, Ukrainian, or from-wherever women are just dyin’ to meet me!

If I got a mail-order Russian bride, she’d probably come with postage due!

Here’s my personal photo, captioned “Ladies, here I am…try to restrain yourselves!”

 

[David777]

Yes reviving a dated thread on...dating

Louise Perry has quite a number of YouTube videos, many interviews by others.

<1 minute
Would you date a person under 6ft?

7:43 minutes
THIS Is Why Dating Is So HARD…

 

[spookycat]

I'm sure this isn't true with all men and women, but there is the possibility that relying on Hypergamy could cause the woman to eventually get attitude and outdo you in the job market/friend group, and hold it against you. And good luck talking your way out of that after they have convinced themselves, because some won't want to reason it out.

 

[Packerjohn]

I'm considering joining a Senior dating site for over 60's.. ..it's not that I want to find a long term relationship... I would just like to find a casual friend basically... Nowdays there's no going down the pub or to a dance hall and meeting a guy like we did in our youth.. and now o/h's been gone almost 2 years it's time for me to start thinking about having a bit of a life before I get too much older... but I have no experience of dating sites per se.. except for some of the horror stories you read about people meeting weirdos and potential axe murderers...

So.. has anyone joined a dating site.. what were your experiences.. and thoughts..

Oh Gee! I meet my last wife on a dating site and we had a wonderful 17 years of marriage bliss before she died Now, I meet my latest girl friend also on a dating site and we have been together for over 2 years and enjoy traveling together.

Axe Murders? You have been watching way too much TV or those stupid horror films. LIVE, LOVE AND LAUGH!

 

[Olivia]

yes I've heard this... it's just ridiculous because immediately you're going to see their different when you meet them. Lie to me from the start and it's the last lie...

And if you're starting with a video chat, make sure they haven't sent a friend.

l'm not interested in dating sites.

 

[hollydolly]

And if you're starting with a video chat, make sure they haven't sent a friend.

l'm not interested in dating sites.

I started this thread almost 18 months ago...I have decided dating sites are not for me...

 

[David777]

To be honest, after I came of age in the working world, most others my age didn't formally date like people did in the 50s but rather hung out in shared activities. However with the explosion of harder drugs by the late 1970s, shared activities for most socially active became bogged down into useless weekend alcohol and drug "partying". So I'd rather share some common activity with multiple, others like meeting up then hiking a local springtime trail or loosely going to some club.