What drives people to be so hostile?

Gardenlover

Gardenlover

The world needs more love
Pick your topic, but the sad truth is no matter the topic, people with opposite views tend to become combative fairly easily.
I've often wondered why, is it insecurity or a superiority complex? Why do so many demand that others hold the same beliefs?
Why is it easier to hate your neighbor rather than love them?
 

Or maybe a combination of both insecurity and a superiority complex? And I think it's a case of 'my opinion is me' and if you disagree, then you don't like me. So people feel animosity because for the most part, we all like to be liked. Not everyone of course, but most of us. So ' you don't like me' gets translated to 'you hate me therefore you are my enemy'.
 
I have a close friend, we've been friends since the 70's, don't see eye to eye on most things, but have some really good conversations about some really deep things. We bounce ideas off each other and give each other sh!t. Things have never gotten heated or hateful. Maybe it's because, now-a-days, we only see each other once a year for a few days at a time.

If your mind is like a steel trap that is rusted shut how do you ever learn anything new?
 

I'll speak for myself. First, I appreciate your sentiment. I have friends and relatives who hold very different views than I do (even political) but we are never confrontational because we've known each other for years so we focus on what we have in common. I've often suggested that we in SF can all find commonalities in forums like Music.

However, there is always someone who posts a thinly veiled political opinion to initiate an argument, when politics aren't allowed, and it typically causes friction. I only have a few "friends" in this forum so it is much easier to take offense to opposing views when you don't know someone.

Also, most of our country is now divided and on our last nerve right now so I think people have shorter fuses these days. I know I do.
 
seadoug said:
I'll speak for myself. First, I appreciate your sentiment. I have friends and relatives who hold very different views than I do (even political) but we are never confrontational because we've known each other for years so we focus on what we have in common. I've often suggested that we in SF can all find commonalities in forums like Music.

However, there is always someone who posts a thinly veiled political opinion to initiate an argument, when politics aren't allowed, and it typically causes friction. I only have a few "friends" in this forum so it is much easier to take offense to opposing views when you don't know someone.

Also, most of our country is now divided and on our last nerve right now so I think people have shorter fuses these days. I know I do.
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Not sure if we see eye to eye on everything or not (doesn't matter to me), but I do hope you consider me a friend here.
 
Maybe sometimes ... hey, it could happen. Especially if you have camels ... and straw

OISJxsz.jpeg
 
Disagreeing with someone's POV doesn't always mean a battle. It's just disagreement. I'm fine with that. More often than not, when I engage with a person who has a different POV I'm more than willing to acknowledge "to each his own". I may not agree, but that person has his/her right to their belief or opinion.

Things sometimes go south when I -- a relatively blunt and direct person who is not inclined to put up with nonsense -- present facts and encounter personal attacks. I don't put up with that. Spent too much time in too many places to accept that kind of stuff.

We will never achieve a Utopia where everybody sings kumbaya. As a species, we're just not wired that way. That's a truth that may be hard to swallow for some.
 
Gardenlover said:
Pick your topic, but the sad truth is no matter the topic, people with opposite views tend to become combative fairly easily.
I've often wondered why, is it insecurity or a superiority complex? Why do so many demand that others hold the same beliefs?
Why is it easier to hate your neighbor rather than love them?
Click to expand...
Just for the sake of clarity, do you ever get combative with someone who disagrees with you?
 
I believe that it is important to hear all voices to any particular situation before coming to (or voting for) any sort of resolution. I was only 10 years old (1953) when my beloved teacher Mr McPhee introduced us to informal debating. I still remember the first time he did it after lunch one day by pointing to a watercolour painting on the wall and asking for our opinions - alternating the positive and negative opinions for our reaction to the work. I was amazed that anyone liked it, because I definitely didn't.

I don't remember which opinions, for or against, won the day. He never said. All opinions were respected that day.
 
The personality that is a Contradictor of anything you say is a no brainer, most everyone is that a way !
They will contradict anything you say, change the subject and move on with their prospective lives. They do not care about you.

Maybe constant contradiction drives the human race and was why all have chosen Kings, Dictators, Shaws
etc. to immediately decide the goals of their civilization. How many obvious lies have you listened to time
and again in the past 4 years. Total, complete B.S.
 
Gardenlover said:
Pick your topic, but the sad truth is no matter the topic, people with opposite views tend to become combative fairly easily.
I've often wondered why, is it insecurity or a superiority complex? Why do so many demand that others hold the same beliefs?
Why is it easier to hate your neighbor rather than love them?
Click to expand...
The way it seems to me, is that the hostility and incivility you're talking about, occurs mostly when the subject is politics or social issues.

I think people are mostly civil about most other topics.
 
MrJim said:
The way it seems to me, is that the hostility and incivility you're talking about, occurs mostly when the subject is politics or social issues.

I think people are mostly civil about most other topics.
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Ahh, No. They want their way on everything. Judge Judy and et all have made Millions on this crap on TV.
Maybe the forums on the internet are owned by investors who do not give et all about those things either.
Is it wing it into the future/
 
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seadoug said:
And there you go, challenging the OP rather than actually offering an opinion. Well done!
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lol - I asked a fair and relative question, and you again get your panties in a knot, which is tiresome. Please use your ignore feature.

And for once, comment on the thread topic, instead of attacking me personally.
 
Eupher said:
Disagreeing with someone's POV doesn't always mean a battle. It's just disagreement. I'm fine with that. More often than not, when I engage with a person who has a different POV I'm more than willing to acknowledge "to each his own". I may not agree, but that person has his/her right to their belief or opinion.

Things sometimes go south when I -- a relatively blunt and direct person who is not inclined to put up with nonsense -- present facts and encounter personal attacks. I don't put up with that. Spent too much time in too many places to accept that kind of stuff.

We will never achieve a Utopia where everybody sings kumbaya. As a species, we're just not wired that way. That's a truth that may be hard to swallow for some.
Click to expand...
I have seen that ignore button and not saying anything is a wise choice in those instances.
 
Buckeye said:
lol - I asked a fair and relative question, and you again get your panties in a knot, which is tiresome. Please use your ignore feature.

And for once, comment on the thread topic, instead of attacking me personally.
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I did comment on the thread. It was post #4. Catch up. Maybe if you read the threads you would offer more relevant responses.

And I never use the Ignore feature because I love to see how off-kilter people can get. ;)
 
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seadoug said:
I'll speak for myself. First, I appreciate your sentiment. I have friends and relatives who hold very different views than I do (even political) but we are never confrontational because we've known each other for years so we focus on what we have in common. I've often suggested that we in SF can all find commonalities in forums like Music.

However, there is always someone who posts a thinly veiled political opinion to initiate an argument, when politics aren't allowed, and it typically causes friction. I only have a few "friends" in this forum so it is much easier to take offense to opposing views when you don't know someone.

Also, most of our country is now divided and on our last nerve right now so I think people have shorter fuses these days. I know I do.
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The last fuse is mostly a stupid idea about people, its their lives and beliefs for their hopes for their families that's important.
The point is overspending by you know who that is causing most all the problems that the Citizens may be intelligently understanding.
The good old boy may be saying "What Cha do?
 
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I am a practicing Buddhist and I follow the eightfold path just to generalize things. I have been following the precepts for 60 years. I will let someone who is all upset about anything be that way while suggesting a gentler and more accepting way to approach life. Some people get it and others do not.

The main teachings of Buddhism are the Four Noble Truths, which state that life inherently involves suffering, suffering is caused by craving, suffering can be ended, and there is a path to end suffering (the Eightfold Path) to achieve this; alongside this central concept, key Buddhist teachings include karma, the concept of reincarnation, and the pursuit of Nirvana through ethical conduct and meditation, often embodied by the Five Precepts.
 
dusty said:
I am a practicing Buddhist and I follow the eightfold path just to generalize things. I have been following the precepts for 60 years. I will let someone who is all upset about anything be that way while suggesting a gentler and more accepting way to approach life. Some people get it and others do not.

The main teachings of Buddhism are the Four Noble Truths, which state that life inherently involves suffering, suffering is caused by craving, suffering can be ended, and there is a path to end suffering (the Eightfold Path) to achieve this; alongside this central concept, key Buddhist teachings include karma, the concept of reincarnation, and the pursuit of Nirvana through ethical conduct and meditation, often embodied by the Five Precepts.
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Sure, those really aren't truths, It's total B.S, Telling kids they just got to suffer for the next 60 years is absolutely a not! ↓↓ Thats not freedom, its despotism, you've picked terms you choose to speak. You lost all of them with that too.
 
papa tiger said:
Telling kids they just got to suffer for the next 60 years is absolutely a not! ↓↓ Thats not freedom, its despotism, you pick term you choose to speak.
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Kids will learn about suffering from the moment they are born. You comfort them until they are old enough to fall down and scrape their knee. When that happens you explain that they will see all kinds of painful things and feel physical pain off and on all through their lives. Teach the child how to deal with his scraped knee and the pain it causes; it won't heal the knee but it will show him that he can be strong and vunerable at the same time.
 

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