Does It Make Us Stronger or Do We Just Break?

chic said:
There does come a time when even the strongest of us gets tired of endless struggle and becomes fatigued enough to just break rather than suffer through more, and who am I to judge if someone says, "enough"? As we get older maybe breaking becomes more commonplace?
In my own life I've had my share to struggle through and sometimes it has made me stronger, ie - angrier and other times I just get tired and want to escape to a vacation destination. Do you ever feel that way?
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My own escape was moving to a different state when I retired. It is sad and most people would not understand, but I am doing better here than I did around family.
 
Always try to get plenty of sleep. It's not always possible but helps to keep one's system and stress level ok.

Personally been through hell and back many times. I'm stronger than I thought. Also going through a very rough time now . Looking for some positive things in my life. Sometimes it works and sometimes not.

Antidepressants have helped me not to give up. Taking one day at a time. I know an even rougher time is ahead but I try not to dwell on it.
 
Ruthanne said:
Always try to get plenty of sleep. It's not always possible but helps to keep one's system and stress level ok.

Personally been through hell and back many times. I'm stronger than I thought. Also going through a very rough time now . Looking for some positive things in my life. Sometimes it works and sometimes not.

Antidepressants have helped me not to give up. Taking one day at a time. I know an even rougher time is ahead but I try not to dwell on it.
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Sleep is difficult for me.
 
DebraMae said:
I think for a while when you overcome you feel stronger but eventuall it does catch up with you, both physically and mentally. I wish you peace.
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Thank you. That is a very good salutation, "I wish you peace." We suffer, all of us. On this forum there is always a empathetic response to someone's suffering. ( almost always ). That is how we humans handle our rough times. The struggle within us, and without us makes for a mixed up, tumbled up world. It mostly is this way, most of the time. I know there is no lack of "caring", both genuine and not so genuine. Be careful with others advice. The road to hades often begins with good intentions. Peace and patience is what I wish for others as they travel the bumpy roads.

I have heard that having lots of money eases the ride. If that is true, would we be stronger when adversity befalls us if we could buy our way to feeling better?
 
DebraMae said:
I got damned good and mad and fought the "system" that put the sob in power over my mom and family. The anger kept me going. Maybe now it is just that I am tired and I don't want to be angry any more.
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DebraMae: It's so sad reading about everybody's lives. I am ever so grateful we had a loving upbringing. My parents did have a struggle coming to Australia, after having servants back in the old country. They sold all their wedding presents just to afford the tickets. We lived 5 to a room and my mother couldn't even cook. But they carried on regardless without complaining. They could have had built-up anger being treated the way they were but never showed it. When one carries grudges all their lives, they are not getting on with living.
 
oscash said:
DebraMae: It's so sad reading about everybody's lives. I am ever so grateful we had a loving upbringing. My parents did have a struggle coming to Australia, after having servants back in the old country. They sold all their wedding presents just to afford the tickets. We lived 5 to a room and my mother couldn't even cook. But they carried on regardless without complaining. They could have had built-up anger being treated the way they were but never showed it. When one carries grudges all their lives, they are not getting on with living.
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I think grudges have to be seperated from scars, and open wounds ..I think scars are what we carry.. most of us who are survivors... grudges can keep you alive by being a reminder to stay away from anything that has caused you pain .. and open wounds are either recent victims or I'm afraid are those who seek revenge... they feel that without revenge their wounds can never close...

When I was a kid I used to dream of revenge... it's a good thing we didn't have laws permitting guns in our country because I know for certain my brother would have shot my father.. no question..
 
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Lael said:
Your childhood was so hard to read holly, seriously :cry: Sending you many hugs 🤗

I'll share few of my big "T" trauma's I've experienced.
When I was 4 my family was in a car accident, me, my sister, mom & dad. The other driver was at fault. My dad seriously injured, sister not so bad, I had a head injury and my mom died. I woke up at the accident scene and saw things a 4 year old shouldn't see. Then 50 yrs later I had a seizure and after getting an MRI they found I had an old brain injury, probably from the accident when I was 4 they said.
When I was 19 yrs old I was planning my wedding. Three days before my wedding I was abducted and was gone for 34 days. Crazy and complicated story I won't get into here.
They say everyone has a story, but I feel like I have a mini-series with all the things I've gone through.
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OMG... see how different our stories are ...wow, I'm so sorry you've had to go through things most of us have never witnessed...
 
carouselsilver said:
Parkinson's runs in my family. My neurologist has reassured me that I don't have it, thank God. As a retired Occupational therapist I kpd joke.jpgnow what measures to take but I have had to give up some things like crafting for now.S
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Since I have Parkinson's I have the right to post this joke.... no offense intended to Alzheimer folks IMO might as well grin and bare it.
 
Paco Dennis said:
Thank you. That is a very good salutation, "I wish you peace." We suffer, all of us. On this forum there is always a empathetic response to someone's suffering. ( almost always ). That is how we humans handle our rough times. The struggle within us, and without us makes for a mixed up, tumbled up world. It mostly is this way, most of the time. I know there is no lack of "caring", both genuine and not so genuine. Be careful with others advice. The road to hades often begins with good intentions. Peace and patience is what I wish for others as they travel the bumpy roads.

I have heard that having lots of money eases the ride. If that is true, would we be stronger when adversity befalls us if we could buy our way to feeling better?
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It couldn't hurt! :ROFLMAO:
 
Living thru the hard / dangerous / economic times, what don't kill ya can make ya stronger.
Via Mistakes, maybe someone Else will give us confidences. It's not what cha can do, it's all
about what cha can take and move on after it all. Of course many can't, but look at the long
line of people hurt, hungry, poor standing to come in to the USA. Just for a peaceful chance.
I watched a line of maybe 1000 under 35 forced to go back with their shirt on their back.
They did it real peaceful for now. Accept it life is just a learning experience. Maybe you be ok?

Just remember every couple month another multi millionaire wins the Mega, Power or other Betting lot.
Sure they get robbed of it. U no near 40 years of Billions betted. Have things actually gotten better. Haha

Now you hear we will stop income taxes. Hahahahahahaha ... :ROFLMAO: ... Inflation roofing at 10% a year with that plan.
Look at the total economy and 40% Tariffs. Hahahahahaha My parents would just say, "well that's Windy just a Jawing"
Back then my Leather working farmer bailing gloves were $1.00. Now they are maybe .. $30 & not comfortable to wea4.
So giver or take a few pennies near $.50 a year inflationary price. But of course, the big jump was with Disease hunters.
 
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DebraMae said:
I didn't go either, when my father was dying.
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Me either. I was torn about this because he was very jealous of my mother and was abusive towards her. when I was five, he put her face through a window and broke her nose and her teeth. She was a beautiful woman who didn't like to smile because her front teeth were missing.

He died thinking that I didn't care enough to come to him at the end, but my health is too poor for long trips.
 
I remember listening to a talk about depression by Robert Sapolsky. He talked about studies that found most people can handle an instance of serious adversity and recover just fine; we just regress back to the mean. In other words, we go back to what our state of well-being was before the adversity. And we can handle another traumatic event without too much trouble. But around the third instance of severe trauma, that's when our ability to cope gets overloaded and often when depression sets in.
 
HermitHogan said:
I remember listening to a talk about depression by Robert Sapolsky. He talked about studies that found most people can handle an instance of serious adversity and recover just fine; we just regress back to the mean. In other words, we go back to what our state of well-being was before the adversity. And we can handle another traumatic event without too much trouble. But around the third instance of severe trauma, that's when our ability to cope gets overloaded and often when depression sets in.
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I've had more traumatic events in my lfe than I can count sitting here, serious traumatic events.. each of which would bring most people to their knees.... and I never fell into a depression. I don't mean I was happy and jolly, I was blasted by them, but never into what is recognised as a depression that seems to be the blight of every street in every town in every western country...

My mother lived with various depths of depression and I watched since I was tiny as she took various anti-depressant pills like they were supplements. She ultimatey used them to take her own life... so I was always more afraid of allowing deprression to get me so that I ended up being subcribed anti-depresants, because I'd seen the damage they do....

In the very recent past I came the closest to a depression than I ever have in my life.. I was falling, and I felt that I was in real danger of reaching out for some joy in a pill..... but instead I visited a therapist and spoke with her every week for 12 weeks . and that lifted me out of that deep abyss... enough to continue on with my life.. still feeling raw, but no longer travelling every minute of the day with the Black Dog..
 
carouselsilver said:
Me either. I was torn about this because he was very jealous of my mother and was abusive towards her. when I was five, he put her face through a window and broke her nose and her teeth. She was a beautiful woman who didn't like to smile because her front teeth were missing.

He died thinking that I didn't care enough to come to him at the end, but my health is too poor for long trips.
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..but why would you care about someone who caused such devastation to your mother ?
 
Paco Dennis said:
Thank you. That is a very good salutation, "I wish you peace." We suffer, all of us. On this forum there is always a empathetic response to someone's suffering. ( almost always ). That is how we humans handle our rough times. The struggle within us, and without us makes for a mixed up, tumbled up world. It mostly is this way, most of the time. I know there is no lack of "caring", both genuine and not so genuine. Be careful with others advice. The road to hades often begins with good intentions. Peace and patience is what I wish for others as they travel the bumpy roads.

I have heard that having lots of money eases the ride. If that is true, would we be stronger when adversity befalls us if we could buy our way to feeling better?
Click to expand...

"I have heard that having lots of money eases the ride. If that is true, would we be stronger when adversity befalls us if we could buy our way to feeling better?"

I have been both "very comfortable" and poor in my life. It is easier for sure not to have to worry about paying bills and making it to payday to buy food but it is also true for me that money does not buy happiness.
 
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hollydolly said:
I think grudges have to be seprated from scars, and open wounds ..I think scars are what we carry.. most of us who are survivors... grudges can keep you alive by being a reminder to stay away from anything that has caused you pain .. and open wounds are ether recent victims or I'm afraid are those who seek revenge... they feel that without revenge their wounds can never close...

When I was a kid I used to dream of revenge... it's a good thing we didn't have laws permitting guns in our country because I know for certain my brother would have shot my father.. no question..
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Oh, I did not seek revenge. I was just angry at the system.
 
HermitHogan said:
I remember listening to a talk about depression by Robert Sapolsky. He talked about studies that found most people can handle an instance of serious adversity and recover just fine; we just regress back to the mean. In other words, we go back to what our state of well-being was before the adversity. And we can handle another traumatic event without too much trouble. But around the third instance of severe trauma, that's when our ability to cope gets overloaded and often when depression sets in.
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Yes, it's the overload that gets you. If I listed the things that have happened just over the last 15 years most people would not even believe me. I had no control over any of it and finally had to just walk away. They were my monkeys but I decided I would not be part of the circus any more.
 
DebraMae said:
Yes, it's the overload that gets you. If I listed the things that have happened just over the last 15 years most people would not even believe me. I had no control over any of it and finally had to just walk away. They were my monkeys but I decided I would not be part of the circus any more.
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same...I often say this.. that if I was to list everything that's happened to me, people would think I was a fantasist....

I didn't even tell the Therapist in 12 weeks of talking there wasn;t enough time, we only scratched the surface ,
 
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