What were your hopes and dreams before where you are today.....

CooCooforCoCoPuffs

CooCooforCoCoPuffs

Senior Member
My DH and I met online in Jan 2014. We were both 58.
On our first face to face date he asked me: "What are your hopes and dreams?". I'd never had anyone ask.

My first stage of hopes and dreams at 16-40, was to be a wife and country doctor. My husband would ranch or farm, or I'd marry another family doctor. Either way, we would both serve a rural community who needed docs terribly or perhaps on an Indian reservation. We would have 3 to 5 children, live on a farm or ranch, raise some animals, cows, chickens and ducks at the very least. Our kids would all do 4-H projects and we would do the county and state fairs every year. I would teach my children to cook and clean and sew, clean house, and tend animals. My husband would be good at fixing cars/machinery, building things, hunting, fishing and would teach my kids his skills.

What were your first hopes and dreams for yourself as life unfolded for you and at what ages and stages?
 

When I was young I wanted to be a rock singer and marry a musician and travel the world. Later I wanted to do well in school and earn degrees, buy a home for myself and maybe write.

Now, I hope to retire someday. I hope not to break any bones or end up hospitalized and in pain for what is left of my life and to die peacefully with those who care about me nearby. That's really all. Quite a change.
 
In 1981 I was 29 and successful as a carpenter making a middle class living, when I decided to quit. I joined a "musicians referral system" over the phone to apply for a job as a guitarist for a band. Within 2 weeks I had a job in Texas. I packed up my VW bug and headed to Arlington, Tx, from central Missouri. I stayed in hotels for free and took off all my traveling from my taxes, so I was making good $$$.

When playing in Oklahoma somewhere "Cheep Trick" ( the band ) came into the club we were playing after a big show they had done in town. I went and met the guitar player, and he asked me what I was doing playing in this club band...I was too good to be wasting my talents. I said it was paying the bills. He thought someone would offer me more soon.

Then we went to the east coast around Atlantic City. We did shows every night that featured and singer/dancer. We had stage lights and wore tuxedo's. :) It was unreal playing the Playboy club. It was filled with gold everything, mirrors and gambling stuff everywhere. We played on the 5th floor over looking the Boardwalk and Atlantic Ocean. I met some players who knew Harry Bellefonte. They thought I could play with his band, or begin with some of the players there.

The band had a few weeks off, and the organ player quit while we were in Ocean City, Md. I met a girl from NYC that had all the connections. She was excited for me to come with her and her sister to the City and play there for awhile. That is when I made the decision that this life was not for me. I had what I wanted, and I didn't like it. It wasn't fun and thrilling like it was when in the early days. It was work. 6 nights a week. Up til 2am.

No day life to speak of. No friends to hang with. It felt empty. So when on my way to NYC I took the fork that took me back to Missouri. Then it was about 4 years of odd jobs until I joined a small Buddhist Monastery. :)
 

One connection that I can make, regarding my early desires, with what I'm doing today were my desires to learn drafting, carpentry and become an interior designer. While my life took many twists and turns, today as a retired senior, I enjoy and grow my skills as a graphic designer. This takes the 3 main things from which I wanted to make a living and places them into the evolved world of computer technology.

I spend my days designing, using my graphic design software, and in life-long learning via YTube vids, where I enjoy learning about basic carpentry, DIY renovation and upcycling in home environment and craft studio design. There were other desires that I had but I'm grateful to be enjoying my major ones in a way and at a time in my life that I could not have imagined.

Thanks for asking this. It has inspired me even more! ✨
 
The only thing I truly longed for when young was creating a loving family because I felt I had a lot of love to give. When I hadn't married by my mid twenties I explored adoption or fostering kids, which would have shocked most that new me seeing I was a rough and tumble guy.

I did marry at twenty eight and we had two wonderful kids, problem was I married the wrong woman. The family I wanted fell apart and we devorced but it ended up OK, the kids stayed with me so with me and two kids I got three quarters of the family I wanted.
 
Paco Dennis said:
Then it was about 4 years of odd jobs until I joined a small Buddhist Monastery. :)
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Would you mind telling us more about that experience? Where? What did you enjoy or not enjoy about it? What things did you learn? Any part of it you regret or would do different? Where did you go from there?
 
Marcy Sheiner said:
OMG, when I was younger, before I got married and had kids, I was full of so many dreams for my future. All went up in the rancid smoke of life.
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Yeah, but you got your kids. I feel that every mistake or action in my twenties led directly to having my son. If I didn't do all the crazy, I would not have been in the position I was to meet his dad. Needless to say, my son is my world and I'm so glad for him. Destiny.
 
CooCooforCoCoPuffs said:
Would you mind telling us more about that experience? Where? What did you enjoy or not enjoy about it? What things did you learn? Any part of it you regret or would do different? Where did you go from there?
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The motive to enter a Monastery was a deep sense of needing to know why and what life was for. My Mom died when I was 13. It made it huge impact in my world when she disappeared. I was satisfied with the level of teaching and how it was presented and practiced. I love nature, and being in the forest all the time is great. It is hard work, but most of the life style is fine.

I have learned something new almost everyday, so I have loved to learn new things, especially about how humans view their existence. This has been and will continue to be a good vantage point/place to peer out into the world. I will most likely pass away here. Who would of thought? :)
 
I was clueless as to what I wanted in life when I was younger. My father was a very intelligent man, so I considered him my "protector". I didn't feel at the time that I needed to make my own decisions. He took care of everything.

My first hope, in my teens, was to not be gay because I grew up surrounded by religion and I didn't want to disappoint my parents. I tried so hard to deny it, but that was never going to happen.

My first dream was to become an architect. I used to draw my own house plans at 9 y/o. Then the reality hit when I went to college that it was an extremely complicated pursuit and I graduated with a BA in Business Administration. It was never my dream to go into sales or into the travel industry, but opportunities continued to present themselves and I spent 35 years in that career and really enjoyed it. I worked in a retail store and was hired by the owner of a tour company, then by a cruise line and the rest is history.

After I came out, my dream was to have a long-term steady relationship. It took a few failed relationships (mostly due to my own insecurity and naivete) and 10 years to achieve it, but I met my hubby 33 years ago so I have achieved my hopes and dreams.
 
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seadoug said:
... I used to draw my own house plans at 9 y/o.....reality hit when I went to college that it was an extremely complicated pursuit...... never my dream to go into sales or into the travel industry, but opportunities continued to present themselves and I spent 35 years in that career and really enjoyed it. I worked in a retail store and was hired by the owner of a tour company, then by a cruise line and the rest is history....

.....After I came out, my dream was to have a long-term steady relationship. It took a few failed relationships (mostly due to my own insecurity and naivete) and 10 years to achieve it, but I met my hubby 33 years ago so I have achieved my hopes and dreams.
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I love your life story. At one time, I used to sit and draw house plans, too.

A long term relationship under any circumstances is not easy, IMO; we have to work every day to communicate well.

What sort of sales did you do for cruise industry? I had a friend and her husband, near Dallas, that owned their own travel agency; they were both employees for Delta before she started her own business. Did you get to travel a lot, or were you able to sample places travelers went?
 
CooCooforCoCoPuffs said:
I love your life story. At one time, I used to sit and draw house plans, too.

A long term relationship under any circumstances is not easy, IMO; we have to work every day to communicate well.

What sort of sales did you do for cruise industry? I had a friend and her husband, near Dallas, that owned their own travel agency; they were both employees for Delta before she started her own business. Did you get to travel a lot, or were you able to sample places travelers went?
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Thank you! I started as a salesperson calling on travel agencies in Central Florida. I moved up the ladder and ultimately retired as VP of Sales with a staff of inside salespeople based in Seattle and a staff of outside salespeople all over the US. At one time, I was responsible for North America, Latin America, Asia and Australia as well.

So, yes I've traveled all over the world. Much of it was to attend conferences sponsored by my accounts. I've visited 5 continents... not Africa and Antarctica. Conferences in Rome, London (right after Diana's death), Singapore, St. Petersburg, Barcelona, Athens, Sydney, Cannes, Madrid, Singapore, Buenos Aires, Santiago, etc. It was a great gig, and I have great memories. Talk about "hopes and dreams"!

I made lots of sales calls with my team and got to know the individual travel agencies within my large accounts, so I very well may know your friends... or at least the name of their travel agency. If you don't mind, let me know the name of the agency.
 

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