Do opposites really attract…or not?

Ronni

Well-known Member
Location
Nashville TN
@officerripley said something about opposites don’t always attract (mea culpa if I didn’t get that quite right) and it made me think of Ron and me.

In some ways we are complete opposites! He is an avowed risk taker while I am completely risk averse. He thinks in simple terms while I am a complex thinker. I overthink and overplan while he is impulsive and shoots from the hip, to mention several traits in which we are polar opposites.

While these contrasting approaches keep life interesting, they can also often be annoying to the both of us! 🤣 He’ll decide randomly as he jumps out of bed on a weekend that we should just throw some stuff into the truck, hook up the Razor (4 wheeler) and take off for some trails a couple hours away.

This adventure is something I will plan all week for, making sure we have snacks and drinks on hand, monitoring the weather, checking to see if there’s grill facilities/showers/bathrooms/mini store, planning the route, making sure the first aid kit is stocked, printing out a map of the trails….you get the idea. 😉

I will plan for all contingencies, ensure redundancy of supplies, whereas his approach is to figure it out as we need it! 🤦‍♀️

But living together has taught me to be more impulsive and spur of the moment, and has taught him the value in some degree of planning and forward thinking our adventures.

The thing we are NOT opposites about are, I think, also what makes us work. We both like and maintain a tidy, clean, clutter free home. He will vacuum, run laundry, dust, as he sees it needs to be done. He makes the bed, cleans up the dishes and runs the dishwasher and puts away the clean stuff.

He stays on top of his paperwork and filing. He routinely does closet purges. He strips and remakes the bed once a week. If he makes a mess working on a project it drives him nuts till it’s cleaned up.

Understand that I do all these things too. The point is that we are both fastidious and particular and don’t wait for the other to get to something that needs to be done, or even worse, not even notice it!

My ex was a packrat and a slob and it was a constant source of irritation and annoyance to me, so I especially appreciate that Ron isn’t that way. His ex had sloppy habits and was a relaxed housekeeper at best, and that was a constant source of irritation to him, so he values my attention to maintaining a clean and tidy home.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that both our differences and our similarities compliment each other, and that opposites CAN attract, depending on what they are, and gauged against the things we have in common.

What do you think?
 

Well it's an odd thing for me to comment on giving my Divorce was made final today... but... we were very opposite... in exactly the opposite way that you and Ron are..

I'm the impulsive one.. him not... definitely not... the marriage lasted over 20 years...so something along the years was right... even if it didn't turn out to be in the end
 
I was always attracted to the bright, outgoing, extroverted individuals. Women with vivacious personalities that wanted to do adventuresome things. I learned that works well until you are living together/married. I love a good conversation but my strength is being a good listener. I only connected with one woman in over 50 years that I had a good give and take with (That actually listened to me). She was a blind date, of course. I am terrible at choosing!

edit: I didn’t think this one through. What I meant to say is I had a problem with being attracted to narcissistic personalities. I have finally broken myself of that habit, I hope.
 
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Well it's an odd thing for me to comment on giving my Divorce was made final today... but... we were very opposite... in exactly the opposite way that you and Ron are..

I'm the impulsive one.. him not... definitely not... the marriage lasted over 20 years...so something along the years was right... even if it didn't turn out to be in the end
So which dating site can I find you on?
 
I'm guessing finding common ground things the two like to spend
together with makes a good relationship. For some its HD's.
Maybe it's a lake and Camping? Most likely not movies or Pool parties.
Maybe its bringing home the crops to storage and sales? Fixing up
Homes to resell? Both seeing a well-deserved profit. Family events. ... :coffee: ...
Pretty sure poor economic futures strain many couples. Find a Fix ?

Maybe the first rule is having your own life within the marriage!

My neighbor is having friction in her Marriage, Adopted son wants more freedom to mix with his estranged family.
I offered give him a chance to agree to time limits, like be home by dinner and at the table son. I', fairly certain the
Boys family / mess was caused by the negative things society is going thru. Social Workers became involved.
Sometimes school just isn't enough. Maybe her Husband can arbitrate all that too. Small towns of under 15,000
the cross-town lines are easy to find. The 14 year old young man is a decent, interesting guy to know. Hope he works it out.
 
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I think opposites do attract. I met my hubby 35 years ago. He is Filipino and came from a very large family. I am White and was an only child. My first Christmas at his parents' house was, let's say... overwhelming. If you've seen My Big Fat Greek Wedding, it was that. I am 8 years older. What we did have in common is that we both came from small, country towns so we could relate.

He was in the "inner circle" in high school and in a fraternity in college. I hated high school and felt like an outsider, mostly because I was gay and went to a Southern Baptist High School. Our experiences were quite different. He ran with a pack of friends. I was a loner.

I am a perfectionist. He takes things in stride. I spent every minute on weekends when I was working cleaning the house or putting things in order. He sat on the couch and said I needed to "recharge" on weekends. I learned he was right. I am very impatient and he is beyond patient. He gets mad at me if I honk the horn in traffic.

Yet, over the years we have grown much more alike. We literally have the same response at the same time to certain things. We are both fiercely independent and don't lean on one another so if there is a movie I want to see that doesn't interest him I go by myself. I go to the gym by myself while he stays home or walks around the neighborhood. We are together all day but we give each other "space". Over the years, I have taken up some of his traits and vice versa. We are now more alike than we are different but still respect and value each others' differences. I absolutely think opposites can work.
 
Well it's an odd thing for me to comment on giving my Divorce was made final today... but... we were very opposite... in exactly the opposite way that you and Ron are..

I'm the impulsive one.. him not... definitely not... the marriage lasted over 20 years...so something along the years was right... even if it didn't turn out to be in the end
BTW, congratulations on the finalization of your divorce!
 
For us, the opposite traits that we have, seem to work out.

One being outgoing and the other quieter, helps more than hinders when we are in a social setting.
One being impulsive and the other needing more planning, makes for some great travel times.
Our core beliefs are the same, that being our anchor.

The thing I'm saying is, the compromises that happen keeps things interesting and on track.
To others we are opposites, but for us, the 'mesh' is perfect...
 
I think opposites do attract. I met my hubby 35 years ago. He is Filipino and came from a very large family. I am White and was an only child. My first Christmas at his parents' house was, let's say... overwhelming. If you've seen My Big Fat Greek Wedding, it was that. I am 8 years older. What we did have in common is that we both came from small, country towns so we could relate.

He was in the "inner circle" in high school and in a fraternity in college. I hated high school and felt like an outsider, mostly because I was gay and went to a Southern Baptist High School. Our experiences were quite different. He ran with a pack of friends. I was a loner.

I am a perfectionist. He takes things in stride. I spent every minute on weekends when I was working cleaning the house or putting things in order. He sat on the couch and said I needed to "recharge" on weekends. I learned he was right. I am very impatient and he is beyond patient. He gets mad at me if I honk the horn in traffic.

Yet, over the years we have grown much more alike. We literally have the same response at the same time to certain things. We are both fiercely independent and don't lean on one another so if there is a movie I want to see that doesn't interest him I go by myself. I go to the gym by myself while he stays home or walks around the neighborhood. We are together all day but we give each other "space". Over the years, I have taken up some of his traits and vice versa. We are now more alike than we are different but still respect and value each others' differences. I absolutely think oppositen work.
Sounds familiar.
 
No two people are identical- even identical twins have different personalities. So, it's going to happen that one partner loves Country music, and the other wouldn't be caught dead in a line dance. The affection each partner has for the other kind of paves over differences- or it doesn't.
 
My husband and I are mostly alike. We have the same political leanings and enjoy the same type of entertainment with our friends. We enjoy the same kind of movies and TV.
We can discuss our problems and find solutions together. The difference is in appearance as he is tall and I am short, he is blonde and I am brunette. :)

We get along well even in our older age and have been married 52 years.
 
@officerripley said something about opposites don’t always attract (mea culpa if I didn’t get that quite right) and it made me think of Ron and me.

In some ways we are complete opposites! He is an avowed risk taker while I am completely risk averse. He thinks in simple terms while I am a complex thinker. I overthink and overplan while he is impulsive and shoots from the hip, to mention several traits in which we are polar opposites.

While these contrasting approaches keep life interesting, they can also often be annoying to the both of us! 🤣 He’ll decide randomly as he jumps out of bed on a weekend that we should just throw some stuff into the truck, hook up the Razor (4 wheeler) and take off for some trails a couple hours away.

This adventure is something I will plan all week for, making sure we have snacks and drinks on hand, monitoring the weather, checking to see if there’s grill facilities/showers/bathrooms/mini store, planning the route, making sure the first aid kit is stocked, printing out a map of the trails….you get the idea. 😉

I will plan for all contingencies, ensure redundancy of supplies, whereas his approach is to figure it out as we need it! 🤦‍♀️

But living together has taught me to be more impulsive and spur of the moment, and has taught him the value in some degree of planning and forward thinking our adventures.

The thing we are NOT opposites about are, I think, also what makes us work. We both like and maintain a tidy, clean, clutter free home. He will vacuum, run laundry, dust, as he sees it needs to be done. He makes the bed, cleans up the dishes and runs the dishwasher and puts away the clean stuff.

He stays on top of his paperwork and filing. He routinely does closet purges. He strips and remakes the bed once a week. If he makes a mess working on a project it drives him nuts till it’s cleaned up.

Understand that I do all these things too. The point is that we are both fastidious and particular and don’t wait for the other to get to something that needs to be done, or even worse, not even notice it!

My ex was a packrat and a slob and it was a constant source of irritation and annoyance to me, so I especially appreciate that Ron isn’t that way. His ex had sloppy habits and was a relaxed housekeeper at best, and that was a constant source of irritation to him, so he values my attention to maintaining a clean and tidy home.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that both our differences and our similarities compliment each other, and that opposites CAN attract, depending on what they are, and gauged against the things we have in common.

What do you think?

Yes, opposites can attract.

FOR A WHILE...................
 
My wife and I are in some ways alike and in some ways different. My wife says I keep things interesting because I lean towards being impulsive. I have to admit that I sometimes do act on impulse.

I stopped a man doing 108 mph on the turnpike driving a new Corvette. I asked him if he had any idea how fast he was speeding. He said the last he looked at the speedometer was 105. I asked if he knew what the speed limit was and he said he believed it was 70. Then he told me he couldn’t help himself. He said he saw a clear road ahead with no cars on it and he was in his brand new Corvette and just had to find out how fast it would go. He said he acted on impulse.

It was then that his wife leaned over and looked at me and said “Please forgive him, Mr. Trooper. My husband only has 3 brain cells.”
 
I think they do up to a point. It’s nice to have a partner who is good in areas where one is not that good. OTOH, if one is completely opposite on certain core principles that can be a huge problem. My ex wife loved liver. I can’t stand it. No problem. On days she cooked liver I would eat part of a leftover dinner from the freezer. But, some issues can‘t be ignored, and can’t be papered over with “love” like having children.
 
I'm guessing finding common ground things the two like to spend
together with makes a good relationship. For some its HD's.
Maybe it's a lake and Camping? Most likely not movies or Pool parties.
Maybe its bringing home the crops to storage and sales? Fixing up
Homes to resell? Both seeing a well-deserved profit. Family events. ... :coffee: ...
Pretty sure poor economic futures strain many couples. Find a Fix ?

Maybe the first rule is having your own life within the marriage!

My neighbor is having friction in her Marriage, Adopted son wants more freedom to mix with his estranged family.
I offered give him a chance to agree to time limits, like be home by dinner and at the table son. I', fairly certain the
Boys family / mess was caused by the negative things society is going thru. Social Workers became involved.
Sometimes school just isn't enough. Maybe her Husband can arbitrate all that too. Small towns of under 15,000
the cross-town lines are easy to find. The 14 year old young man is a decent, interesting guy to know. Hope he works it out.
Hmmmmm
 


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