The Dear Departed

chic

chic

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Many people maintain that they feel the "presence" of their departed loves ones in their daily lives and even believe "so and so" is watching them ( from heaven or wherever) helping them etc. It does benefit people to believe this. They can accomplish goals more easily, fight addictions etc. because they believe their dead are still with them.

How do you feel about this? Have you had any personal experiences in which your dear departed helped you? How has it affected your life?
 

I have had none personally.

My mother, before she finally died of cancer, said she saw my deceased father standing by her bedside one night. She said he picked up the satin quilt that had slid to the floor and covered her.

This could have been a dream. I don't think it was an hallucination because she was not on the heavy drugs at that time. (as I later learned)

Although I feel these things are highly unlikely, I cannot say they are impossible.
 
My sister in law has apparently had visions, experiences with the dead, what ever you want to call it, where she saw family members who'd died and I've read numerous books on near death experiences in which people saw previously dead family members come to help or guide them in the beginning. And I know Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross (I think that's the spelling) and Dr. Raymond Moody spent many hours talking to patients who've had medical crisis and they recorded many of their stories about family coming for them.

I haven't personally had an experience like that but I believe that it happens. There are many things that aren't understood by man but that doesn't mean those things don't happen. I think RadishRose, if you don't mind my saying, I think that your dad came to soothe any fears that your mom may have had as she approached the end. Just letting her know that he'd be there for her when it happened.
 

My personal view is that when you're gone, you're gone. Having lost my son, and my wife, I cope by keeping them alive in my mind. I occasionally talk to "them", but, no. I have never had any departed ever talk to me.

Radish Rose, I liked your story. My own interpretation is that your mother was recalling your father's love and caring for her over a lifetime. Not such a bad thing.
 
RadishRose said:
I have had none personally.

My mother, before she finally died of cancer, said she saw my deceased father standing by her bedside one night. She said he picked up the satin quilt that had slid to the floor and covered her.

This could have been a dream. I don't think it was an hallucination because she was not on the heavy drugs at that time. (as I later learned)

Although I feel these things are highly unlikely, I cannot say they are impossible.
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The day before my mother died, she had an apparent conversation with my long-deceased father. Don't know whether it was an hallucination or what, but it seemed to comfort her and she slipped into a kind of coma right after that.

I can't say I actually feel my mother's presence, but sometimes I can still "hear" her talking to me (not really hear, but her words come back), like "NEVER throw away good food! Find a way to use it!"
 
chic said:
Many people maintain that they feel the "presence" of their departed loves ones in their daily lives and even believe "so and so" is watching them ( from heaven or wherever) helping them etc. It does benefit people to believe this. They can accomplish goals more easily, fight addictions etc. because they believe their dead are still with them ...
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Not to slight anyone's beliefs here, but feeling a constant presence and believing someone is watching them are also symptoms of paranoia.

And believing the dead are still among us is the basis of a few rather unsavory "religions" ...
 
Oh I feel my Mom quite often. An ongoing dream is a resort dining room. I'll be having dinner with both my parents. They'll be the age they were then and I'm my age now and we catch up with my life, it's comforting...I was only 26 when she passed. Much unfinished business there.

The best story I remember is a memorial service I couldn't attend. My sister in law died after a prolonged cancer fight. Her named was spelled Joanne. But she would correct anyone that it was pronounced JoannA. The priest giving the eulogy didn't know her in life. He kept saying Jo-Ann and everyone would cringe.
Finally after he said Jo-Ann for the twentieth time a wreath loudly fell to the floor of the alter. Those who knew her well actually giggled. Was it just a loosely wired bouquet or was someone saying " It's JoannA dangnabit!"
 
Regarding deceased friends, and desiring a continuing presence, this experience topped my cake: I saw a woman, well-dressed, middle-aged, I judged, carrying her cat in her arms, in some public place. She was walking toward me, and as she got closer and closer, presently I realized the cat was dead! It had been stuffed, was staring forward with unseeing eyes.

Ever see/hear of such a thing? imp
 
Last fall I went down to LA to visit my daughter for a few days. When my husband came down I went outside to greet him after he parked the car and the first thing he said was "Bill stopped in to see me last week" and then he started crying. I said "Bill who??" So what he told me was that he was in bed and heard something hit the door jam so he sat up and it was his older brother (who died about 20 years ago at age 56 of a heart attack) with a duffle bag over his shoulder. He had retired from the Navy so it seemed normal he had the duffle bag. He said he walked over to his side of the bed and set the duffle bag down and said "I haven't seen you in a long time" and then he bent over and hugged him and then picked up the bag and left. He said Bill (or Chuck as he went by in the Navy) felt warm and normal, not like a spirit or a ghost or anything. They had been estranged when his brother died so I figured (since I believe in reincarnation) that his brother was getting ready to be reborn somewhere and just stopped in to say "Hi bro" before he moved on to his next life.
 
"since I believe in reincarnation"

Years after my Dad died, I swore I heard him call me by name, as he was wont to do when I was a teenager. I heard this call while fully wide-awake, not inebriated or compromised in any way. It frightened me no small amount. I listened, and waited. I did not call back, fearful of the possible result. This was perhaps 30 years ago. It has never recurred. The experience did not make me believe in reincarnation, séance validity, or hereafter. But, I could swear to Christ, I heard him. imp
 
Underock1 said:
My personal view is that when you're gone, you're gone. Having lost my son, and my wife, I cope by keeping them alive in my mind. I occasionally talk to "them", but, no. I have never had any departed ever talk to me.

Radish Rose, I liked your story. My own interpretation is that your mother was recalling your father's love and caring for her over a lifetime. Not such a bad thing.
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I think when you're gone you're gone too.

In this thread, I don't mean people having conversations with the dead, but I mean people who believe their loved ones are watching over them in heaven and helping them, protecting them, inspiring them. No conversation involved.

In parochial school we were taught dead relatives in heaven were always watching over us. I never felt this personally. I'd like to feel the presence of my departed loved ones in my daily life but I don't. It just isn't there. Not really believing in heaven doesn't help either I suppose, but that's another can of worms.
 
Yep without doubt I believe my mother is watching over me. I don't feel any ''physica''l presence but whenever things are going really bad for me, as it has for the last 2 years in particularly medically.. a white feather always lands close to where I am as if to say this too shall pass!! However I have always 'felt' her presence as tho' she's there when I need her..I'd like to hope that it's not my imagination.

I also have very vivid dreams that seem to be very real on a regular occasion where I will dream of someone I haven't seen or even sometimes thought of for many years, and then I learn later down the line that that person had died just around the time I dreamt of them. .
 
Butterfly said:
The day before my mother died, she had an apparent conversation with my long-deceased father. Don't know whether it was an hallucination or what, but it seemed to comfort her and she slipped into a kind of coma right after that.

I can't say I actually feel my mother's presence, but sometimes I can still "hear" her talking to me (not really hear, but her words come back), like "NEVER throw away good food! Find a way to use it!"
Click to expand...

Yes! That happens often, and kind of brings them back for an instant.:tapfoot: Always makes me smile.
 
fureverywhere said:
Oh I feel my Mom quite often. An ongoing dream is a resort dining room. I'll be having dinner with both my parents. They'll be the age they were then and I'm my age now and we catch up with my life, it's comforting...I was only 26 when she passed. Much unfinished business there.

The best story I remember is a memorial service I couldn't attend. My sister in law died after a prolonged cancer fight. Her named was spelled Joanne. But she would correct anyone that it was pronounced JoannA. The priest giving the eulogy didn't know her in life. He kept saying Jo-Ann and everyone would cringe.
Finally after he said Jo-Ann for the twentieth time a wreath loudly fell to the floor of the alter. Those who knew her well actually giggled. Was it just a loosely wired bouquet or was someone saying " It's JoannA dangnabit!"
Click to expand...

Made me laugh, Furry.
 
I talk to my wife all the time.

Maybe a bit in the paper that I know she would be interested in, tell her what I fancy for lunch, call her attention to the bluebell wood when in the car.

Can't say she's ever answered me but I know she's still with me.

Thank God for faith.
 
imp said:
Regarding deceased friends, and desiring a continuing presence, this experience topped my cake: I saw a woman, well-dressed, middle-aged, I judged, carrying her cat in her arms, in some public place. She was walking toward me, and as she got closer and closer, presently I realized the cat was dead! It had been stuffed, was staring forward with unseeing eyes.

Ever see/hear of such a thing? imp
Click to expand...

I guess people do what they have to do, but, yeah, pretty creepy.
 
imp said:
"since I believe in reincarnation"

Years after my Dad died, I swore I heard him call me by name, as he was wont to do when I was a teenager. I heard this call while fully wide-awake, not inebriated or compromised in any way. It frightened me no small amount. I listened, and waited. I did not call back, fearful of the possible result. This was perhaps 30 years ago. It has never recurred. The experience did not make me believe in reincarnation, séance validity, or hereafter. But, I could swear to Christ, I heard him. imp
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I believe that could happen, imp. The brain does strange things sometimes.
 
Reading through the posts above, I know how genuine and real they are to you all.
The frustrating thing is you feel you cannot prove anything, and it is so easy for the cynic to brush them aside.
Sad to say, I have been both a believer, and now a cynic.

All I can say is that once you have had such an experience, you just know that it happens.
You may dismiss the idea of a ghost as absolute rubbish - until you see one.

I am presently writing an article on my life when I was between three and seven years old in war-torn Liverpool.
Many of my memories are vivid, others somewhat hazy.
Somehow, in the middle of the night, memories will come back to me. True memories, not fantasies.
... Deep down, I guess they have been there all the time - I have simply 'connected' them back into my conscious memory.

Our loved ones may well have passed on - but they still exist in those that remain.
 
chic said:
I think when you're gone you're gone too.

In this thread, I don't mean people having conversations with the dead, but I mean people who believe their loved ones are watching over them in heaven and helping them, protecting them, inspiring them. No conversation involved.

In parochial school we were taught dead relatives in heaven were always watching over us. I never felt this personally. I'd like to feel the presence of my departed loved ones in my daily life but I don't. It just isn't there. Not really believing in heaven doesn't help either I suppose, but that's another can of worms.
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I hear you, Chic. While I dismiss the idea of them watching over you from Heaven, they are a presence in your daily life. All of those observations you made of them during their life times are contributing to the decisions you make every day, both for good or ill. If you really miss their presence, you could probably find their essence with a little digging around in your memory bank. Acceptance is the key.

"Everything that has a beginning, has an ending. Make your peace with that and all will be well." - Attributed to Buddha
 
I don't really think that we watch over anybody when we have passed on. From all the reading I've done, the impression I've gotten is that we rapidly lose interest in what we're leaving behind as it's no longer relevant to our existence. Besides when 'son/daughter/husband/friend' etc., dies, we'll have the opportunity to see them again and while it may be years to them, to the first deceased, it's a blink of an eye.

I believe the bodies we currently inhabit are 'vehicles' that we've chosen to enable the experience of life. When the old clunker finally gives up, we revert to our supreme, high efficiency model that we'd put aside temporarily and then it's time to blaze along the high roads of the Eternal Now.
 
At 82, I'm very happy to not have anyone watching me. Enjoying the real memories of the people who were. Not worried about getting into Heaven. Not worried about going to Hell. I don't understand why people are always looking forward to a new existence about which they know nothing. Its always assumed that its going to be wonderful. Maybe its Hell for everybody!
Same with reincarnation. Do I really want to come back and live the life that 90% of the people on this planet live? No thanks. Not interested in seeing my dead two year old lying on the beach.
Looking forward to a long nap, and rejoining my wife's ashes as an insignificant part of the universe.
Hope this isn't too far off topic. Seemed appropriate enough to me.
 
People look forward to a 'new' existence because it means the brutality, violence and heartbreak that we're witness to daily will no longer be an issue to cause concern.

I find it interesting that while people want to venture an opinion on what happens when we die and it's often negative (from 'nothing happens' to 'you're going to hell because you aren't a ????) we're mostly reluctant to do any research or even have an open enough mind to listen to those who've had medical crisis (that don't end in a funeral), that might give a few new ideas or even answers. Death is one thing that none of us can escape and you'd think that people would be more curious (if nothing else) about the experiences of those who've had a 'possible' close call.

And being as sensitive as I can here Underock1, if you had a child who died by drowning, I'm terribly sorry for your having gone through that, but again, from all the reading that I've done, that child will be there for you when the time comes for you to transition. We all originate in the same 'place' and back we go when we're done here. And I think some of us come back and some don't because they've experienced what they came to experience.
 
Sometimes it comes from our own heads as well. I listen to my music from back in the day and even now some forty years later remember at what point in certain tunes, my mother would be screaming "Turn that garbage down!". I still hear her even though it's just me and pup on a dark street.
 

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