Learning How To Live Life

Fritz said:
they have things available for us here but often they are of little use. not enough staff or scheduling issues. it's a mess. they signed me up for occk back in november for free rides to and from respiratory rehab and most of the time they had no rides available or were closed for holidays or weather events.
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officerripley said:
Same thing here; maybe there's so little for seniors since it's a college town?
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Morning everyone. I was supposed to go back today but I can't keep my O2 sats at or above where they're supposed to be so if I work I will have respiratory failure again. So I'm calling in today and filing an FMLA claim and taking two weeks of leave to rest and get better. My body is exhausted. I have a follow up with my primary on the 16th and will see if I'm still sick then. If I am then I will have another follow up on the 23rd to see if I can return to work on the 24th.

So for now I'm grounding myself so I can rest and hopefully get back to it. I think I'm going to have to push the time up on looking for a desk job. Hopefully I can find something.

I gotta clean my sinuses then have some tea then IDK. Nap til it's time to call in my claim I guess.
 

Watching a little CSI and eating dinner. It's almost time for another breathing treatment and it's time for my 2nd set of meds.

In the hospital they did some stuff wrong when setting things so I had to make my own adjustments. They weren't setting my oxygen right. They were giving me a breathing treatment with an Aerobika with the wrong mouth piece so the Aerobika wasn't even working. And we pay thousands for this. *Rolls eyes*
 
I'm glad you are taking the time off that you need, to get better and prevent a setback from pushing too hard, too soon.
It wouldn't seem wise to me, especially since that is a physically demanding job of yours!

Are any of the possible desk jobs you're talking about, at the same employer that you're at?
 
Fritz said:
I'm back. Some of you might not like that. But, I'm trying to make changes in my life for the better. I'm hoping for another chance to make some friends on here. So we'll see. All I can do is hope.
AKA MarciKS. I have no clue what my sign in info was from before so, that's why I have the new name. Plus it's nice to start fresh.

For those of you who posted nice comments on my other diary after I left, I appreciate it. Thank you. I've missed some of you.

I just got out of the hospital yesterday afternoon. I've been in the hospital twice now since last November. First time was with pnuemonia/respiratory failure. This time I had a bacterial infection/respiratory failure. Good fun. LOL! I'm home resting and will return to work Tuesday with a little more wear and tear.

They finally got us a new pulmonologist and he's stated he would like to see me get a job that's less physically demanding. So, if things go well, I plan to look for a desk job starting in 2026. I think it's time to hang up my hard working shoes for something a little less tiring. I don't want to but, my body isn't going to put up with much more.

I've had no car for couple years now I think. I'm getting to know the Uber drivers pretty good. *Giggles*

After mom's funeral in 2021 my brother and his wife quit talking to me along with some of the other family members. Father and I tried to build a relationship but it just didn't work out. He was being abusive again and I decided it was no longer a fruitful venture. So, I made the painful decision to go no contact. It was what was best for me. I am finally starting to heal and live life.

I have information on several jobs I could get that don't require degrees or experience. Ones I'd probably enjoy. I have no issues with working at a computer all day. I'm on mine all the time at home.

I hope every one is doing well. And I hope we can start again.
Mary
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Glad you made it through those serious health issues in the hospital, and are back home now. Good to hear you're making some changes and doing what is best for you. Love yourself, you deserve it, and take care. You sound like you have it together and on a positive track for the future, good luck. ☮️
 
SeaBreeze said:
Glad you made it through those serious health issues in the hospital, and are back home now. Good to hear you're making some changes and doing what is best for you. Love yourself, you deserve it, and take care. You sound like you have it together and on a positive track for the future, good luck. ☮️
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Thank you. We'll see what happens. For now I'm on leave for a couple weeks and resting. If my breathing doesn't improve I'm not sure what will happen. I can't afford to take care of myself. And I doubt I can get by on disability. But, we'll see what happens. I have no clue where God is taking me or what plans he has for me but, I completely trust him no matter what.
 
It must be very hot outside here today. The a/c is struggling a little.

Every evening the folks down the alley crank up the Mexican music and the entire neighborhood is forced to listen to the thumping fiesta for 4-6 hrs. If we call the police then we get harassed by them. It's a no win situation. So, I got my earbuds that connect to the computer so I can listen to something else and relax. Or I can hook it to my phone and play my video games.

I still make avatars for forums. On another site the ladies really enjoy them. It's something to do to keep me entertained.

I pray I can find a decent desk job where I can be happy and continue to support myself and slow down for the sake of my lungs. I think I might like it. I would prefer to work from home but that's God's call. He knows what's best for me. I don't always make the best choices. LOL!
 
Good morning again.
I have to make an attempt at a shower. I still have the bath wipes from the hospital but I'd really like to manage an actual shower. 😁 It's been a few days. Wipes are ok but not for every day. I'll just hafta set it so it's not too warm because of my lungs.

I took my meds and I'm getting ready to do a breathing treatment. Breathing is a little better this morning. Even when walking around the house.

I'm planning to have McDonald's for lunch. Then later tonight I can have a sandwich and salad for supper.

If I feel up to it this afternoon I'm gonna venture to the living room and try out my new fashion game on my Wii. Just to take my mind off things.

One of the nurses was giving me a hard time over the weekend about my pain tolerance level. I said well, would you prefer I shout in your ear and scream out in pain and swear at you like other patients do? I told her I'd rather whince and moan in peace and be nice to her cuz I know she's not hurting me intentionally.

I grinned and said I'm just a delicate flower and then proceeded to ignore her. LOL! Most of my nurses were really nice. This one particular one is kind of a hard ass. Her problem not mine. The medication they had for my IV was hurting my veins really bad so it was not a pleasant time. Veins are still tender and kinda warm to the touch. So I've been keeping an eye on that.

I feel another nap coming on today though. I've been sleeping pretty good so my body has been trying to make up for not getting much rest in the hospital.
 
Took a little nap. Not sure what was going on outside. Loud traffic. I decided to get up and investigate. I did a few dishes and washed my portable nebulizer and my cpap mask. I'm debating if I'm ready for my shower now. I suppose it's best I get it over with before I get too tired to do it.
 
I feel better after that shower. If I could just quit coughing I'd feel better yet. My poor throat is so inflamed and raw.

I have to play part of my new game with both hands because I'm not steady enough with one. Plus the Wii controllers are not great at accuracy. So in order to sew my clothes in the game I have to have both hands to steady them cuz I'm a bit shaky. Takes forever but that's ok. LOL!
 
I woke up this morning and have been doing a lot of thinking. I still plan to try to get a desk job in the near future. I'm also contemplating looking into going on disability and fighting for the maximum amount so that I can hopefully manage.

I will have to look for more affordable housing though for sure. We have HUD housing here and another housing program. There's a line of course but, I'll worry about it when the time comes. One thing at a time. Right now recovery is first.

I am gonna hafta wash the bedding this morning. I had a little mishap. 😬 I will probably wait until after my ortho appt to get my trigger finger shot.

Coughing has finally slowed down and breathing has improved some. Sinuses are still bothering me a little so I will likely keep cleaning them until I can talk to the doc on Monday. I slept great last night!

So just a little update on things. I can't recall what I was doing when I left last time. But I've been in the housekeeping dept for the past 3 yrs. I like it better than food service but things are changing there and management is getting pretty shady about stuff. We have a contracted cleaning crew helping us because we were too short handed for the amount of work we had to do.

They have been threatening me with my job. They've fired several people in the past 6-9 months. We suspect they plan to get rid of us all and replace us with the cleaning crew. It's a possibility and I've overheard the boss talking on the phone about it with her boss from time to time. Nobody wants to apply and the ones that do they won't hire. They are not very good to us and people usually quit on the regular.

Also since mom passed away in 2021, my brother and SIL have not spoken to me and some of the family quit talking to me. My father waited until she passed away to decide he was lonely and wanted to try to have a relationship with me.

This has not gone well at all. I've made the best effort I could but, I've had my own problems and health issues and no real desire to make a relationship with a man whose a stranger to me after 56 years. Also he and mother were emotionally and verbally abusive to me my entire life.

I'm done with toxic relationships. I need peace. A few months back father and I started getting into arguments online. It's easier for him to be crappy to me in an email than in a phone call. Then he started attacking my posts on FB and then it escalated to him attacking my friends posts on there.

I finally had enough and I blocked him and then emailed him and point blank told him when he was ready to be nice to let me know. He then shot back that I couldn't just talk to him however I wanted and that it ended today (meaning then). I didn't respond.

Three or four months have passed. He kept trying to pretend nothing happened and emailing me at the holidays but I just didn't answer. One of the emails he made the remark that mom would be upset with him for continuing with this silliness. At that point I knew I had made the right decision by going no contact with him. I check the obits every day and I wonder which one of us will go first.

I don't regret the decision I made because of the fact that I am happier now and I feel free to live and be myself for the first time in my life. If my family wants to believe certain things about me and they want nothing to do with me that's fine. They can just deal with it. I am too old and too tired to give a crap anymore about people who don't care about me.
 
That's sad about your family members and your father but it sounds like you truly gave it your best try. No one can do any more than that, and you can't control outcomes of course, or what the other people do.

Sometimes we think or hope that maybe people can change after a big loss like your mom passing, but I've seen that they generally can't or don't. Meaning your father. His negative patterns persist. So the relationships of his revert to the same old thing.

Not to say that people can't change and improve. Some of us work hard at it.
But lots do not.

At some point you need to focus on your life. Which you are.

That's lousy about the work situation.
Are you still on the late evening shift?
 
Kaila said:
That's sad about your family members and your father but it sounds like you truly gave it your best try. No one can do any more than that, and you can't control outcomes of course, or what the other people do.

Sometimes we think or hope that maybe people can change after a big loss like your mom passing, but I've seen that they generally can't or don't. Meaning your father. His negative patterns persist. So the relationships of his revert to the same old thing.

Not to say that people can't change and improve. Some of us work hard at it.
But lots do not.

At some point you need to focus on your life. Which you are.

That's lousy about the work situation.
Are you still on the late evening shift?
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I work from 3p to 11p 5 days a week. I love the hours. Just not the job so much. I like what I do but the people stink. If I get a desk job I may be working varied shifts. Not thrilled about that either. LOL!
 
Breathing is definitely doing better today.

I went to peek out the front door and found someone's trash in my yard. Not sure why but, I put the bag in my bin. It could've fallen off the waste truck.

It looks a little like it might storm today. It was misting when I grabbed that garbage.

I gotta put my sheets in the wash and put fresh ones on the bed and clean my cpap equipment today. I have oral thrush because of all the treatments at the hospital and they didn't give me the nystatin when I am supposed to use it. They had it on a schedule. I'm supposed to use it after my treatments. That's the whole point. 🙄
 

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