Dr.Colosso
Member
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This question lingers. Can men and women truly maintain a real friendship?
- Thread starter LadyEmeraude
- Start date
I have had male friends, but that has been rare. Generally I find that they want more than friendship. I was even insulted by one man who refused to accept that I just wanted friendship and assumed the problem was me and let loose some "labels" in his anger. Glad I escaped that one.
I think sexuality does provide tension in many male/female relationships.
I think sexuality does provide tension in many male/female relationships.
this is covered in the book I quoted
MACKTEXAS
Well-known Member
Yes, that's a good idea, besides, I don't think I want to start any serious relationship anyway. But then, people quite often say that, and things change, so never know . . .
JustDave
Well-known Member
Now I suppose I have to read it. I always assumed the most fascinating part of the book was its title. I've never talked to a single person that I can remember who read it.
David777
Well-known Member
- Location
- Silicon Valley
Back on post #12 on this thread, I wrote the below because the OP was obviously posed too generally black and white and her response to what I wrote, points to that was slyly on purpose. Well ok let's see? And indeed, the majority of responses addressed that question essentially as I wrote and in fact numbers were just defensive statements to show the audience they were not the type that some probably would instinctively imagine. Reality is, many men constantly have sexual thoughts on their minds because they have trained themselves to think so over a lifetime.
"Maintain" implies a relationship over time that changes little with people content to enjoy friendship at that level. Very common in professional work places with lots of people and awareness that sexual advances may result in complaints to HR and potential loss of employment. But such is not the case within the small social blue collar working class worlds of large numbers of others in both employment and other societal infrastructure.
The usual issue becomes one gender person plays a game like whatever friendship and mutual respect they started will remain platonic but is really just waiting to change that to a sexual one when an opportunity occurs, hoping the other party non-verbally begins to show signs of feeling so. Men that have been fantasizing the latter, may become frustrated if that doesn't change and at some point emotionally expose their real feelings, especially with innuendoes and non-verbal grinning facial expressions, inadvertently exposing their true intents, thus looking like jerks. And as I wrote, such is more likely among more attractive (or wealthy) persons to get hit on, versus plain to unattractive persons.
Thread title is:
This question lingers. Can men and women truly maintain a real friendship?
Thread title should be:
This question lingers. Can some men and some women truly maintain a real friendship in some circumstances?
Reads like one is asking whether some people can maintain opposite gender friendships without such being affected by lusty thoughts.
The OP replied "NO, the thread title should not be as you say. It should be exactly as I posted it."
"Maintain" implies a relationship over time that changes little with people content to enjoy friendship at that level. Very common in professional work places with lots of people and awareness that sexual advances may result in complaints to HR and potential loss of employment. But such is not the case within the small social blue collar working class worlds of large numbers of others in both employment and other societal infrastructure.
The usual issue becomes one gender person plays a game like whatever friendship and mutual respect they started will remain platonic but is really just waiting to change that to a sexual one when an opportunity occurs, hoping the other party non-verbally begins to show signs of feeling so. Men that have been fantasizing the latter, may become frustrated if that doesn't change and at some point emotionally expose their real feelings, especially with innuendoes and non-verbal grinning facial expressions, inadvertently exposing their true intents, thus looking like jerks. And as I wrote, such is more likely among more attractive (or wealthy) persons to get hit on, versus plain to unattractive persons.
Thread title is:
This question lingers. Can men and women truly maintain a real friendship?
Thread title should be:
This question lingers. Can some men and some women truly maintain a real friendship in some circumstances?
Reads like one is asking whether some people can maintain opposite gender friendships without such being affected by lusty thoughts.
The OP replied "NO, the thread title should not be as you say. It should be exactly as I posted it."
Marv Malone
New Member
- Location
- midwest USA
Not at all. Don't confuse gender with sexuality...the question itself assumes the gender issue. Female and male. No one is totally neutral, and I think even at the most formal levels, gender and possibly sexuality are present. By sexuality, I don't mean sex. I just mean recognition of the basic differences between men and women and covert reactions to this in culture. I distinguish between Gender and sexuality as do writers on the subject.