The General Humor Thread

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered...
Getting together for Christmas, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother. The first said, "I built a big house for our mother."

The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes."

The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."

Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks:

"Dear Milton," she wrote one son, "The house you built is too huge. I live in only one room, but I have to keep the whole house clean!"

"Dear Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel. I stay at home most of the time, so I rarely use the Mercedes."

"Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "You have the good sense to know what your Mother likes. The chicken was delicious!"
 
Paladin1950 said:
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That reminds me of probably the stupidest thing I have ever said. My sister and I were driving in Chenango County, NY, many years ago, and she cautioned me to slow down to lessen the risk of hitting a deer if one were to run into the road. I told her, "No, silly; it's not deer season!" 🤦‍♀️

We laughed about that one for years.

Although, to be fair, the risk of a deer being spooked and running into the road is increased during hunting season, but I wasn't even thinking that. I'm not sure what I was thinking.

P.S. Hey, @Matrix; we need a brunette face palm emoji! Just kidding; I know that's not under your control. ;)
 
debodun said:
I didn't know whether to post this in the Computer thread or here, but this is it:

Yesterday I had some trouble with the right side page scroll on several sites. When I tried to scroll down, the page would jump back to the top of the page and also the reverse. I cleaned the mouse and keyboard and shut down, hoping one of these procedures would help. It was fine today until a few minutes after I was using it. Come to find out, I think it was because my "girls" were pressing on the keyboard. My vision is so bad I have to lean forward quite a bit to see the screen. I moved the keyboard away from the desk edge and so far, okay.

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Is this true?
 
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