Never So Alone As I Am, Now!

I'm late to this dialog, but I would encourage you, Ian McKlatchie, in the most urgent terms, to improve your diet.
I'm hearing (I think) what you're saying about your state of mind regarding food, however we are what we eat.
Start with smaller steps........add something green every day.....like fresh spinach or arugula or broccoli, let your body and
your mindset become accustomed to that. When you're ready, add some other color like carrots or red cabbage.
It's a consensus among nutritionists that we absorb nutrients from food much more readily than from supplements.
Try and consider healthy food consumption to be something that's kind of fun to do.
And use your intellect to come to know what constitutes a healthy diet.
Get some exercise every day too. Diet and exercise are non negotiables in managing one's healthspan as we age.
 
I have to confess that I have no fight left in me. Call it age! Call it mental illness! I no longer know what to call it! I put all my faith in one friend who, around 6 weeks ago, decided to just dump me, like so much trash! The wound is still open and bleeding and the loss of that friend massively increased the sickening depth of my depression. I should never have become so dependent upon only one friend - but, that's easy to do in the total absence of any others.

Friendships should never fall apart...our phone calls were incredibly supportive - both ways! Phone friends are incredibly valuable to me, but I've completely run out. Those who haven't turned their backs on me...died.

I just can't find any fight left in me. It's not that I don't look for it...I just can't find it. It takes some kind of idiot to put himself in this chair for 12 hours a day, rotting away on a computer. I just feel that I have far too many obstacles between me and any chance of better health, mentally.

The therapy has begun, but it's going to be hellishly long and difficult, and mostly pointless. Anhedonia chooses to leave only in its own sweet time. It's among the hardest conditions to treat because those pleasure centres in the brain don't allow change to come easily. Every day is a struggle.
 
Ian McKlatchie said:
I have to confess that I have no fight left in me. Call it age! Call it mental illness! I no longer know what to call it! I put all my faith in one friend who, around 6 weeks ago, decided to just dump me, like so much trash! The wound is still open and bleeding and the loss of that friend massively increased the sickening depth of my depression. I should never have become so dependent upon only one friend - but, that's easy to do in the total absence of any others.

Friendships should never fall apart...our phone calls were incredibly supportive - both ways! Phone friends are incredibly valuable to me, but I've completely run out. Those who haven't turned their backs on me...died.

I just can't find any fight left in me. It's not that I don't look for it...I just can't find it. It takes some kind of idiot to put himself in this chair for 12 hours a day, rotting away on a computer. I just feel that I have far too many obstacles between me and any chance of better health, mentally.

The therapy has begun, but it's going to be hellishly long and difficult, and mostly pointless. Anhedonia chooses to leave only in its own sweet time. It's among the hardest conditions to treat because those pleasure centres in the brain don't allow change to come easily. Every day is a struggle.
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My mother can hear with one ear, hardly sees a thing, sits bent over, can hardly walk. She watches preachings all day every day and she's very strong and cheerful. Build your spirit. Instead of talking to AI listen to good preachings or christian music, maybe Bible texts on a cd about healing. I used to do that when I had RSI. I couldn't work. I just put headphones on with Bible texts at night and during the day I kept speaking out loud Bible texts about healing until I believed it and was healed. Faith comes by hearing of the Word of God. It's medicine.

Proverbs 4

My son, give attention to my words;
Incline your ear to my sayings.
21 Do not let them depart from your eyes;
Keep them in the midst of your heart;
22 For they are life to those who find them,
And health to all their flesh.
23 Keep your heart with all diligence,
For out of it spring the issues of life.

There are even people who lived a normal life without a brain. Just a brain stem. Don't focus on your brain. That's just your body. Focus on God in your heart.

Romans 12
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind

From Google AI: Modern neuroscience strongly validates the biblical directive in Romans 12:2 to be "transformed by the renewing of your mind." The scientific mechanism behind this transformation is neuroplasticity: the brain's incredible capacity to physically rewire itself, forming new neural pathways based on what you repeatedly think, feel, and do.

The Science of a Renewed Mind
Neuroplasticity proves that your thought patterns are not permanent.Rewiring Habits: Every time you entertain a specific thought, you strengthen the synaptic connections associated with it. Over time, these pathways become automatic.

Breaking Cycles: Because the brain can adapt, you can actively unlearn negative behaviors and thought patterns by intentionally choosing to focus on new, positive truths.

Emotional Regulation: Scientific studies show that intentional mental focus (such as meditation, prayer, and gratitude) physically reshapes brain structures, decreasing stress responses while increasing capacities for emotional regulation and empathy.
 
@Messy - I'm very interested in that neuroplasticity - the whole post, in fact. I'd like to know a great deal more about focus on new, positive truths. I'm also very interested in listening to the Biblical readings, if there is a therapeutic value to them. I'll happily take on board whatever links and information you are able to provide. If neuroplasticity is, as you say, then I should be able to rebuild stronger connections to my reward centres and get the therapy effects accelerated.
 
Ian McKlatchie said:
@Messy - I'm very interested in that neuroplasticity - the whole post, in fact. I'd like to know a great deal more about focus on new, positive truths. I'm also very interested in listening to the Biblical readings, if there is a therapeutic value to them. I'll happily take on board whatever links and information you are able to provide. If neuroplasticity is, as you say, then I should be able to rebuild stronger connections to my reward centres and get the therapy effects accelerated.
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The Science of Transformation: How Your Brain Can Be Renewed

If you want a good preaching, the first part is African worship by the way:

Unusual Kindness || Bishop Dr. Thomas Muthee

On this forum is a thread with christian music. That's also great. I saw one song yesterday. ProTruckDriver posts great songs, like this one:

The late Anthony Burger fell on a heater when he was a child and the doctors said he would lose the use of both hands because of the severe burns. The Lord works in mysterious ways.

 
Messy said:
The Science of Transformation: How Your Brain Can Be Renewed

If you want a good preaching, the first part is African worship by the way:

Unusual Kindness || Bishop Dr. Thomas Muthee

On this forum is a thread with christian music. That's also great. I saw one song yesterday. ProTruckDriver posts great songs, like this one:

The late Anthony Burger fell on a heater when he was a child and the doctors said he would lose the use of both hands because of the severe burns. The Lord works in mysterious ways.

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@Messy - Thanks, for those resources...I'm sure they'll come in very handy. :)
 
OldOld said:
You may have to start getting used to the loneliness like many seniors have.
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@OldOld - I'd sooner try to do something to relieve the loneliness, actually, to be honest! There are 8.3 billions of us on the planet...there's no reason why any of us should just accept loneliness without trying to do something about it. I cannot survive completely alone, like this. I know that I won't. For me, loneliness will likely result in a very sudden and permanent resolution and I'm trying to avoid that mindset, right now! :(
 
Ian McKlatchie said:
@OldOld - I'd sooner try to do something to relieve the loneliness, actually, to be honest! There are 8.3 billions of us on the planet...there's no reason why any of us should just accept loneliness without trying to do something about it. I cannot survive completely alone, like this. I know that I won't. For me, loneliness will likely result in a very sudden and permanent resolution and I'm trying to avoid that mindset, right now! :(
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This was posted on an online support group for people with Anhedonia:
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HOW I HEALED MY ANHEDONIA WITHIN 4 MONTHS:

Rejoice! You, like everyone else, are an amazing self-healer. These steps are not in specific order. I am listing what I was doing, and how I lived, to get to the point where I healed from this condition in only 4 months. I'd you want to skim through this, the most important points are 1, 2, 3, 5, 8.

  1. STOP DRUGS. STOP ALCOHOL. I quit marijuana completely. I never took any more antidepressant or ADHD medication. I never drank any alcohol anymore.
  2. COGNITIVE REFRAME TECHNIQUE. This was very, very effective for me. It was after doing this technique for 3 days straight, paired with POINT 3 below, that I finally found myself with fast healing from Anhedonia. Here is the technique:
  • Sit down comfortably.
  • Close your eyes, and get into a meditative state. Do this by taking deep breaths, and focusing on your breath. We want to enter your subconscious here.
  • Once in this state, I want you to visualize the first moment that you realized that you had Anhedonia. (OR, the moment that you believe caused your Anhedonia. Like, a trauma.). Visualize it clearly, as if you're there now. The place you were in, what you saw, what you heard. And once you're in this place, I want you to FEEL the pain, the sadness, the anxiety. All of the emotions that you felt when you realized you were struck by Anhedonia. Oh, god, it was awful!
  • Amplify the feeling. Amplify, amplify! Cry if you need to, for damn sake. But never open your eyes. Keep them closed. You're in that moment.
  • When you've felt enough of that pain...change the scene in your mind. Quickly change the colour of the room to your favourite colour. Change the scent to your favourite scent. Add your favourite pet. Maybe hold a cup of tea if you love tea as much as I do. Anything that would normally have made you happy before Anhedonia, add that into the scene.
  • Now, you can stop crying. All your favorite stuff is here! It's great. It's calm now. Try to feel joy if you can. If not, at least know that you're okay now. No more hurt.
  • Say to yourself in your mind, "I can feel pleasure now." or "I can feel joy now". Whatever positive thing you need to happen. Say it as many times as you need.
  • Open your eyes. You're back to reality, and you just finished changing a life-shattering moment into a moment of peace, full of all your favourite things. ❤️
As I've said before, I did this 3 (or 4??) days in a row. It's best done in morning after you wake up, or at night before you sleep.

This technique might help you too, or it may not. It all depends on what is happening with you. This helps mostly the people who have subconscious blocks or trauma that causes or worsens their Anhedonia.

3) NEUROTRANSMITTER AUDIO. You can find many neurotransmitter frequency audios on YouTube. Find the one that works for you, and listen to it dally, preferably while falling asleep. I realized that my anhedonia was cured the moment I put on a very powerful one, about one week after I did the reframe technique in POINT 2. I felt emotional pleasure for the first time in 4 months while listening to a powerful audio.

4) SUPPLEMENTS MAY HELP, but I can't confirm if they did help me or not! The most powerful supplement I took was called MUCUNA PURIENS. I took it in powder form for a week. Mucuna transforms into L-Dopa, which turns into dopamine. It easily crosses the blood-brain barrier. Be careful with Mucuna. Don't take too much, too long. But I noticed that when I took mucuna, it gave me a boost, where I could strain even just a LITTLE fizzle of joy in me again sometime during the day. And that's great! That little fizzle every day will help you train that joy part of your brain again. I ALSO TOOK OMEGA-3, ZINC, VITAMIN D, B VITAMIN COMPLEX, AND PROBIOTICS. Every single day.

5) EXERCISE! Holy crap, guys. This is a big one!! Exercise, especially cardio, really helped me heal. I went to the gym every second day to do cardio for 30 minutes straight. Exercise not only helps fight depression, but it encourages natural dopamine and serotonin production.

6) DAILY TEA. I mean, I don't know if this contributed to my healing or not, but it doesn't hurt. During the month that I finally healed, I had been drinking caffeinated tea every morning. Oolong, green, and white tea is what I drank. I think I drank more green tea than anything else. Green tea is packed with l-theanine, is a natural stimulant, and is really good for the brain.

7) EAT WELL. The gut produces a lot of your serotonin. Make sure you are eating foods that don't irritate your digestive system too much. Steer clear of fried foods, and too much refined sugar. You gotta give your body what it needs to heal.

8) STOP THINKING ABOUT YOUR ANHEDONIA. Focus on something else. If you constantly obsess over a health problem, it won't get better. Let it go. Let it flow. Because you KNOW it will get better and go away someday. No need to panic or obsess now, because it's only temporary. ❤️ Don't feed your anhedonia. Don't build walls that say, "I can't do ___ because I have anhedonia". Act as if your anhedonia ain't even there! It doesn't own you. Live on. Just live.

9) EVERY DAY, LIST THINGS THAT USED TO GIVE YOU JOY. This is something I learned from a life coach. Take like 10 minutes out of your day to just write down things you used to love (or things that would make you happy if you didn't have anhedonia), and then try to picture them in your mind. A warm cup of tea, the dewey grass on a summer morning, a cute happy doggo with its tongue out.

🌸 Well, that's it!

I found that it may take time, but anhedonia can very well heal. Never lose hope. I clung to hope throughout my journey. It was really tough at times, but don't fret. You've got this. Dedicate and commit to healing.

I wish you well. I wish you healing. I hope that I could be of help! ~ Peter
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I'm a huge proponent of meditation.
I wish you all the best, Ian.
Frank
 
Ian...keep posting on Senior Forum so we know you are alright. We can't speak with you (verbally) on this forum, but we can listen to your thoughts by what you write. We can give suggestions that you may or may not take but at least our hearts are with you and we're trying. This forum might seem impersonal to you, but since you have agoraphobia, it's the best we can do.
Some members of this forum speak from experience and have been through some of the emotions you are experiencing. Some of us have been able to work through our phobias while others of us are still working through them. You may seem like you are alone in this journey, but you are not so just hang in there and take one day, hour, and minute at a time.
 
TeePee said:
Ian...keep posting on Senior Forum so we know you are alright. We can't speak with you (verbally) on this forum, but we can listen to your thoughts by what you write. We can give suggestions that you may or may not take but at least our hearts are with you and we're trying. This forum might seem impersonal to you, but since you have agoraphobia, it's the best we can do.
Some members of this forum speak from experience and have been through some of the emotions you are experiencing. Some of us have been able to work through our phobias while others of us are still working through them. You may seem like you are alone in this journey, but you are not so just hang in there and take one day, hour, and minute at a time.
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@TeePee Every sufferer should read a post like that, now and then. So many more of them would still be around. From one of those legendarily deep places inside me, I thank you for your post! :)
 
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