Renewing Wedding Vows

Ruth n Jersey

Ruth n Jersey

Well-known Member
Location
Northern New Jersey
We recently had a family member who renewed their wedding vows after 10 years. They have a wonderful,loving marriage so it wasn't because they felt the need to reinforce their marriage. My feelings on the subject are a bit different. I can understand maybe going back to the place you had your honeymoon or possibly the place you first met,anything that may be meaningful to you. I just don't see the need for a "tune-up" and especially after 10 years. I did not express this to the family member and don't intend to, this is not my business and I deeply respect their choices. What they choose to do is fine with me. I was just wondering if I am in the minority thinking this way. This is coming from a person who got married in the church outer office with the minister's wife as a witness. So far, it has lasted 43 years, so that may have something to do with my thinking on the subject. As I said,just wondering.
 

Hubby and I renewed our vows on our 25th anniversary. It was not a second wedding ceremony as such and it took place during the regular church service where we had been members for some time. The minister talked to us about how we wanted to do it and he used the occasion to identify the most recently married couple and the couple who had been married the longest. It was very inclusive.

When we repeated our vows other married members were invited to join in if they wanted to. It was a celebration of marriage as much as it was about us.

We didn't repeat the exercise at 50 years.
 
I think the same way Ruth, if it makes them happy they should do it, but I can't see the point. Like you say, maybe a vacation to the honeymoon spot would bring back nice memories and be a very loving thing.

We've been happily married now for 39 years, and lived together for a couple of years before that. Neither of us has any desire to renew our vows, never gave that piece of paper too much importance either, just a legality there, especially if we had any children, which we never did. We got married in the city by a justice of the peace, with a few friends present and a party afterwards. Simple, just the way we wanted it.
 

I agree with you Ruth. I don't see the point of it tbh....each to their very own of course, whatever makes anyone happy is entirely their prerogative, but I don't understand it, nor would I ever be tempted to do it... we're the same as you SB...we don't give that wedding certificate much importance tbh..in fact neither of us wear wedding rings...we have them , we just don't feel the need to wear them. but for most people that would be a step too far..but we're very comfortable doing without.



Good grief, the first time was bad enough...( lol) I'm kidding :rolleyes::grin:
 
I agree with you, Ruth. We had a lovely wedding in my parent's backyard over 37 years ago...with a honeymoon at Carmel and various other points on the California coast. My vows are pretty much renewed every day to my mind.

On the other hand, one of my best friends renewed her vows in Hawaii recently and I said..way to go girl. She had a blast doing it and even bought a new wedding dress. Yes, I was very happy for her.

Lol Holly...who wants to return to the scene of the crime, right? In our case that was every time we stop by my mom and dad's house (she still lives there)
 
For our 50th, one of our daughters asked if we wanted to renew, my wife was the first to speak up with "no need to" and I agreed..
 
I think some people like the ceremonial aspect. I agree that renewing vows after 10 yrs is a bit much, but if it makes them happy, well, whatever.

I have a cousin who had a huge wedding with all the trimmings and lots of pagentry (including a Cinderella carriage) 20 yrs ago. I’ve heard rumblings about them wanting to renew their vows, and I thought “oh my goodness”.
 
To me, it’s just a step or two above the couples who go on Facebook and post:

“You’re the love of my life. I’d be nothing without you.”

Or

“My life began the day I met you. I love you, my darling and always will.”

Aaawww. Okay…..nice. But these people LIVE together. They’re most likely in the same room as the spouse while they’re posting. So I guess it's for the benefit of those who are reading.
 
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Ina said:
Applecruncher do you know my granddaughter and her husband? You just discribed them to a T. I keep wondering just who they are trying to convince.
:dunno:
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Yeah.....makes ya wonder.

My cousin's son and his wife did it all the time....back when I used to look at FB more than once a month. Married 4 yrs, in their 30s, day in day out this stuff was in the newsfeed. I finally had to hide their comments.

They will most likely be renewing their vows. :)
 
If people want to do it, OK, but I don't see the point, either, especially if you're going to do the whole shebang and put a lot of money in it. I'd rather go buy new furniture or something. Not very romantic, I guess, but a lot more practical.
 
Actually me and hubby got to a point where we divorced...and remarried. If I wanted to go to the trouble it would be the acting pastor at our past church...and just our pups as witnesses...almost thirty years and now we're 100% devoted...to the pups too.
 
That's cute Ken. :)

Ruth, I agree with you and I'm surprised how many others feel the same way, I thought I was in the minority. But I will say, I think it's great for those who want to renew their vows. Why not, if that's what you and your spouse want to do?
 
LOL! We were planning a big celebration for our 40th anniversary. I asked hubby if he wanted to renew our vows and he looked at me with this incredulous face and said "NO, I don't need to do that, they took the first time!"
 
Ruth n Jersey said:
We recently had a family member who renewed their wedding vows after 10 years. They have a wonderful,loving marriage so it wasn't because they felt the need to reinforce their marriage. My feelings on the subject are a bit different. I can understand maybe going back to the place you had your honeymoon or possibly the place you first met,anything that may be meaningful to you. I just don't see the need for a "tune-up" and especially after 10 years. I did not express this to the family member and don't intend to, this is not my business and I deeply respect their choices. What they choose to do is fine with me. I was just wondering if I am in the minority thinking this way. This is coming from a person who got married in the church outer office with the minister's wife as a witness. So far, it has lasted 43 years, so that may have something to do with my thinking on the subject. As I said,just wondering.
Click to expand...

I'm with you. I don't get it. I don't think we're a minority!

Maybe because it's been done on some TV shows, viewers get the idea and think it's the thing to do? I don't know. Why not just throw a big anniversary party and invite all your friends and the person who married you (clergy, justice of the peace, Las Vegas clerk)?
 
My wife and I will be married 40 years next August and we've talked about doing this in conjunction with a trip to Hawaii, but have not gotten beyond a brief. I don't see the need either, but I wouldn't be opposed if she wanted to do it. I'd be more inclined to throw a huge party for our 40th and then maybe renew the vows in front of family and friends.
 
Mama has put up with me for 40 years and I'd be afraid that she'd pick someone else the second time around.......couldn't really blame her if she did. :)
 
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