What is your definition of 'love'?

B

Bluecheese50

Member
Location
UK
I think love is liking someone a lot. I couldn't love anyone I didn't like.

I don't wish to love anyone with all my heart and being, just in case they die I have no wish to feel deep grief. So far I have achieved that even when my favourite grandmother died 36 years ago, I was fond of her. I hope none of my children/grandchildren, of whom I am very fond die before me, I might find it hard not to grieve their loss.
 

Bluecheese50 said:
I think love is liking someone a lot. I couldn't love anyone I didn't like.
Click to expand...

While liking someone before you love them makes sense, I would hazard the opinion that love is something more than liking someone a lot. There are many levels of love to be considered as well. You can love your goldfish. You can also love your spouse. Different levels of feeling.

I don't wish to love anyone with all my heart and being, just in case they die I have no wish to feel deep grief. So far I have achieved that even when my favourite grandmother died 36 years ago, I was fond of her. I hope none of my children/grandchildren, of whom I am very fond die before me, I might find it hard not to grieve their loss.
Click to expand...

I've always felt that, especially when it comes to spouses and family, full-out, unrestricted love should be the norm. If you fear loss you cannot love fully.
 
SifuPhil said:
While liking someone before you love them makes sense, I would hazard the opinion that love is something more than liking someone a lot. There are many levels of love to be considered as well. You can love your goldfish. You can also love your spouse. Different levels of feeling.



I've always felt that, especially when it comes to spouses and family, full-out, unrestricted love should be the norm. If you fear loss you cannot love fully.
Click to expand...

As I said I couldn't love anyone I didn't like and that includes family. Fortunately I like my children and grandchildren.
 
I find that in a personal relationship you do have to ''like' someone before you can feel love for them...however outside of that not so much., For example there are members of my family whom I love , but for various reasons I don't like them very much, they're not people I would choose to have as friends for example..
 
Aww, love, yes, poets, philosophers, novelists, songwriters, they have all grappled with it. Such a meaningful but elusive thing. Where did I leave my heart last night...?
 
I am a sensitive emotional person with a great deal of empathy. I have also experienced huge losses, some I still mourn. I hate grieving. But for me, the price of humanity is heartbreak, the lack of it, anathema. I prize connection above all things, not out

of any codependent need, but rather an incredible joy in deep interactions with others. Liking is great, I make friends easily, loving is a whole new ball game. While I would never give all to anyone because I believe it to be unhealthy for both persons

involved, I love deeply and unconditionally, whether it be my pets, close friends, children, or a beloved man. All things die, that is the poignancy of life. I will grieve when I must, but until then, I will glory in the gift of loving as the most precious part

of my existence. To do less would be to live in fear, to shut myself away from pain by excluding the vulnerability required to be truly open to another. I have paid a high price for this choice, but It continues to define my life. In my humble opinion, my

capacity for love is the crowning achievement of this life. I am a poet, with a marvelous perennial muse.
 
I think real love is unconditional. It means caring about the well-being of the other person and not loving them on the condition that you get something in return. No conditions.
 
Life isn't much without love. I also believe in loving with all your heart. It's worth whatever it costs. I'm not saying be a stupid fool..but people do that too. A good friendship is a wonderful thing..but not the same as love. You love your kids even if they break your heart.

When I was ten I taped this poem into my scrapbook and decided this was what life is all about..I still do.

Barter


Life has loveliness to sell,
All beautiful and splendid things,
Blue waves whitened on a cliff,
Soaring fire that sways and sings,
And children's faces looking up
Holding wonder like a cup.

Life has loveliness to sell,
Music like a curve of gold,
Scent of pine trees in the rain,
Eyes that love you, arms that hold,
And for your spirit's still delight,
Holy thoughts that star the night.

Spend all you have for loveliness,
Buy it and never count the cost;
For one white singing hour of peace
Count many a year of strife well lost,
And for a breath of ecstasy
Give all you have been, or could be.

sara Teasdale



 
hollydolly said:
I find that in a personal relationship you do have to ''like' someone before you can feel love for them...however outside of that not so much., For example there are members of my family whom I love , but for various reasons I don't like them very much, they're not people I would choose to have as friends for example..
Click to expand...

How do you define 'love'? I didn't like my mother much, especially in her later years, and certainly wouldn't have described the feelings I had for her as love. However, together with my siblings we ensured she wanted for nothing, and had the best of care homes.
 
Sometimes in the case of difficult aging family members, love is exclusively a verb. You do your best to ensure they are well cared for, because of personal values, regardless of how horrid the people may be.. My mother was a raging narcissist for most of her life, fortunately her stroke turned her like able. Regardless, I did my duty and was a part of caring for her.
 
Ralphy1 said:
We are starting to go into all kinds of love other than romantic love...
Click to expand...

Yes, I have the love of my grandchildren....I find this love satisfying, to watch them grow, to see how they deal with life and to have them hug me when they come to visit, I'm grateful for their parents that taught them love.
 
Shalimar said:
I am a sensitive emotional person with a great deal of empathy. I have also experienced huge losses, some I still mourn. I hate grieving. But for me, the price of humanity is heartbreak, the lack of it, anathema. I prize connection above all things, not out

of any codependent need, but rather an incredible joy in deep interactions with others. Liking is great, I make friends easily, loving is a whole new ball game. While I would never give all to anyone because I believe it to be unhealthy for both persons

involved, I love deeply and unconditionally, whether it be my pets, close friends, children, or a beloved man. All things die, that is the poignancy of life. I will grieve when I must, but until then, I will glory in the gift of loving as the most precious part

of my existence. To do less would be to live in fear, to shut myself away from pain by excluding the vulnerability required to be truly open to another. I have paid a high price for this choice, but It continues to define my life. In my humble opinion, my

capacity for love is the crowning achievement of this life. I am a poet, with a marvelous perennial muse.
Click to expand...

The only love I have, if that is what the feeling is, is for my children and grandchildren. I get on with my siblings, but I don't think the feeling I have for them is love. As my husband's carer I do what I have to do for him, although apart from our family we have nothing in common whatsoever. If I felt any grief it was when he had his subarachnoid haemorrhage in 2006, which robbed him of half his brain and his MEGA intelligence. I suspect it was his intelligence which attracted him to me in the first place, when I met him at 15. If he died I doubt I would feel any grief, just relief because he is so frustrated that he can't do anything of an academic nature anymore; academia is his greatest love.

I have two friends I made at school, but would never describe any feelings I had for them as love. I have plenty of friendly acquaintances, but have never needed close friends.

I could never 'love' an animal, of which we have had plenty as they have their uses. They were well taken care of, but never treated like humans.

I enjoy my hobbies, digital art, poetry, writing and creating glitter stones, but I would not use the word 'love' in that context.

I know I am far from perfect, but I am content being just me and wouldn't wish to change the way I feel.
 
Ken N Tx said:
My wife and I have been in love for 58 years now..I hope that I will go first..
Click to expand...

I "have" to go first. Otherwise, I couldn't make it on my own for very long. I have been a very pampered husband and I have appreciated every minute of it.
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top