Are You Better Off Than Your Parents Were?

SeaBreeze

SeaBreeze

Endlessly Groovin'
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USA
Are you better off than your parents were, happier, healthier, better financially? My parents were pretty happy as I remember as a child, there were four of us kids to raise though and my mother stayed home and took care of us like most moms back then, housewives. So money-wise, I'm probably better off and maybe a bit happier. They never owned their own home, and we were raised in an apartment. Definitely healthier than my parents, who both had issues with high blood pressure, diabetes, etc.

Are you better or worse off than your parents were?
 

My parents weren't well-off by any means, but my mother knew how to squeeze a nickel until the buffalo's nose bled. We had everything we needed and a decent amount of what we wanted. We owned our home; it wasn't a fancy home, but I was never ashamed to bring my friends there.

My late husband and I were never well-off, either, but we lived a good life and provided well for our daughter.

My father died at 69 and left my mother without a lot of money (his pension died with him and she didn't have one.....all she has is a paid-up house and her social security). Thank goodness, for her, that she has a bunch of daughters who will never let her go without. Where I'm better off is that I have my late husband's pension, my social security and a nest egg in the bank. Thank heaven for that, because I have no illusions that I am going to get the kind of care from my daughter that I provide for my mother.

So, I guess I'm better off than my parents.
 
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I almost really don't know how to answer this without sounding like I need therapy. Let me see.. my father married a woman that was about 40 years old and she had a grown son and daughter. She was a complete narcissist & I do mean that literally. Everything was about her..everything. She had to live above their means. She made him move at least once a year & sometimes twice. She made him move us all the way to Texas so he would not be near his own family in Colorado. All she did was talk about her dead husband for the rest of their entire marriage. I have no earthly idea why or how my father remained in love with her. She was extremely jealous of any attention our father paid to us, his family, anything but her. She liked to say men were after her all the time I think a game she believed made her look more desirable. She was pouty and childish threw tantrums was violent, she would go without speaking to me for an entire month and I actually had no idea what I did & I was a kid. I have no idea if my father ever was happy or just faking it all those years. Her- she was never happy I do know that much.

Me- well I think I'm happier than that mess. LOL
 

Most definitely.

My parents had a pretty tough time of it financially and worked very, very hard to raise us. Their diet was also pretty poor compared to us now. And they drank more and smoked too. But back then they were not aware of the risks associated with diet, drink and smoking. Despite all that, I enjoyed a comfortable upbringing and my parents did sacrifice a little to send me to a very good school - despite the fact that the local school was not far from where we lived.

Many of the differences are social changes and perceptions and had my parents been aware of these issues in their days, then I am sure that they would have moderated their habits. Employment opportunities were not as good back then either and my dad worked very hard in the shipyards like many thousand others at the time. Guys who ruined their health in that environment.

So, I think I benefitted from social and cultural changes and the effort and support of my parents.
 
My parents did well considering that there were four kids that they had to raise. Both of them worked. My dad was a union electrician, my mom a registered nurse who worked the 11-7 shift so there was no daycare. We were firmly in the middle class, but somehow they scrimped and saved enough to build a modest 2nd home on a lake in NH where we spent many a summer. My dad did much of the work on the home himself. When my parents divorced, my dad got the lake house (and the better end of the deal in retrospect). So, they did okay. We had presents at Christmas time and new clothes once a year, but lived a modest, comfortable life. When it came time for me to go to college, we agreed that they'd pay my tuition if I paid my living expenses, so I worked throughout college to pay my rent.

In contrast, I think my wife and I have been better savers, but we only had one child (by choice) and thus were able to put lots of money aside. I think my parents would be stunned to know how much we've saved ahead of retirement. So, bottom line I think we are better off financially than they were. In terms of health and happiness, I think we have them beat there too. My dad was a smoker and a heavy beer drinker. He's paying the price now in his later years. Mom has paid the price for poor genetics on her parents side: heart problems almost took her from us way before her time, as they did with my grandparents. Who knew that eating red meat several times a week was bad for you?
 
I never married so it was easier for me to save and be better off financially. But they did a great job of living a frugal life and saving for retirement while raising 2 kids. I think they were pretty happy and satisfied with their lives.
 
My parents were poor, raised five children on my dad's truck drivers pay. They had grew up as next door neighbors and their marriage was a foregone conclusion by both sets of my grandparents. I think Dad always resented being left no option but Mom. I think Mom was happy in a self-deluded way until after most of us kids were grown and she found out my dad had been cheating on her with various women. They stayed together but shouldn't have after this revelation. My mom passed away years ago and my dad is now almost ninety and living in a nursing home. I know I am better off financially and much happier.
 
My parents did quite well, given that Dad was a union truck driver, while Mom was a housewife. But, they were very wise financially, and lived well within their means, and were able to carve out a decent Middle Class lifestyle, with a nice house, good cars, etc., They raised my Sister and me to think the same way, and the lessons they taught us have served us well. We tried to pass the same lessons to our kids, and they are also doing well.

A stable family life, and avoiding debt seems to me to be the best formula for having a good life.
 
My father was a working class cockney. His money went to drink, cigarettes, gambling and numerous liaisons I will call it.. How on earth my mum who was a stay at home mum, even fed us is a miracle. They had no savings at all. Filed for bankruptcy twice. However, dad on his deathbed did a 360 in 1993 and changed his ways regretting what he had done and how us kids were raised. He has been a exemplary grandfather to my now grown kids. As for me had a upper middle class family of my own. As I swore to myself I would not do what had been done to me. My children are now on their way to achieving the same thing. Good careers, married to great spouses and own their own homes. Out of the chaos came great accomplishment.
 
Okay first off I can pinpoint all the mistakes I made...My parents had it goin' on when I was growing up. Dad was a department head in the public schools, my Mom taught in a private school. They also took side work teaching summer school, my Dad was a part time professor. After my brother left home I was an only kid. We traveled and things were comfortable, not wealthy but I didn't lack for things.

My mistake was marrying too early, low career aspirations and thinking a bunch of kids would be so enchanting. PFFFFFFFFFT if I had it to do again I would have skipped human children for a series of dogs and cats. Had a good strong career built up by thirty, have set up a nest egg early on...married along the way probably, and be able to retire comfortably by sixty or sixty five.

My parents had a better lifestyle than I'll ever be able to touch:(
 
I'm comfortable, but I never made anywhere near what my Dad did. And he did it all on his own.

He provided us with more than what other families had. Cross country vacations during the depression; trips to museums, the opera etc.
trying to give us a well rounded education. Lucky me.
 
Yes I agree Falcon, don't ya wish you knew then how good ya had it? I really didn't appreciate how hard my parents worked until way after the fact. I mean I remember one year they took me to California for a month. They were house-sitting for a friend in Long Beach. Gorgeous house with freaky Japanese puppets...I remember those clearly. Side trips to places like San Simeon and Yosemite, Carmel, San Francisco. I was bored with old movie stars and no TV. Jeez I wish I could afford to vacation there again.
 
To earn and marry as well as my dad was the carousel ring for me and my brother. I'll say now, he and I are twins - he was the serious one and I was....um, not so serious. I barely made it through high school, he did college. He learned the business end of dad's construction company, I chose to be the laborer. I married young, he waited. But that's where I lucked out. My wife was a wonderful person. She was never disappointed in me and she helped me see that my dad wasn't either.

My dad's construction business succeeded because he was an excellent craftsman and a down-to-earth guy with a kick-ass sense of humor. I'm a lot like him. When I lost my wife, my life got derailed. I stopped working and meandered for a few years, like a dead leaf in the wind. My bro pressured me for a good year to get over it and go back to work, but my dad gave me time, and (amazingly) kept me on the payroll. That's what got me back to work - dad's patience and understanding. I think he asked himself what he would do if he lost my mom.

Crap. I'm off topic. I basically have my own business now, owning this apartment complex. It's small, but earns a good living and I do all the repairs and stuff myself. My brother now owns dad's company. He and his wife live well, like my parents did (and mom still does), but I'm happier. Brother's got more money and material things than my parents had, but I've got the feeling of accomplishment, the freedom to roam, and a little more of the joy they had.

I think that's still a bit off topic, but there it is - that's what came out of my brain.
 
Nope, I forked out mega bucks for kid's education. Worth it, an investment in my family's future. My daughter in law graduates from law school this Spring. Without my help, it would not have been feasible.
 
The first two things you mentioned were happiness and health. Healthwise, I guess I am as well off as my parents were at my age -- thanks to them: I got their genes. A huge blessing for which I am very grateful.

Happiness -- not so much.

Money-wise -- nowhere near.
 
Wrigley's, my condolences for your loss...hugs. Seems like you have a very caring family. Sounds like you're doing very well now for yourself, and it's nice you're handy(and healthy) enough to do those repairs yourself. Neat that you're a twin too. :)
 
We didn't have a lot of money when I was a kid, but like Jujube, my mother knew how to stretch a dollar and taught us not to be careless with any money we had. Since I never had any kids, I was a bit better off in the money department and was able to work full time and overtime and save for early retirement. We're not well off, but happy with our lifestyle.
 

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